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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shaving child’s head??

106 replies

DropYourSword · 10/12/2021 08:00

Ok, I swear this is genuine.

My son is 5. Until very recently he had long hair - he hadn’t had it cut since birth. Me and DH always agreed that if and when he decided he wanted it cut he could, because it’s his body, his choice and we wanted to promote bodily autonomy. A few weeks ago he decided he wanted it all cut off so we went to the hairdressers and he had a major chop. He loved it and was very happy.
Now he’s been talking about another haircut. He’s said on a number of occasions he wants it all shaved off - like totally bald! The t doesn’t seem to be a passing thought but something he’s really wanting. He even came home today with a special Christmas drawing with his “bald head”. His granddad is shaved bald so I think that’s probably where he’s got the idea.

I have no idea what to do. We’ve always said he could be in control of his hair but this seems pretty extreme! Every instinct tells me to say no but it does then feel a little hypocritical! We’re in Australia so currently hitting the height of summer and school has just broken up for the year so it would grow back in time for returning to school.

I’d really like some other perspectives here. Am I being a bit precious thinking this is too full on? Or are my instincts spot on thinking this is fairly unacceptable! Cheers!

OP posts:
SexyBoris · 10/12/2021 08:01

I would let him have it shaved on a number 2 but not go totally bald. People will think he’s poorly

FabriqueBelgique · 10/12/2021 08:03

Don’t do anything less than a number 1 cut IMO. If I saw a bald child I would wonder if they were poorly.

LimeTreeGrove · 10/12/2021 08:03

I'd do it now while it has time to grow back before school if it's school holidays

FabriqueBelgique · 10/12/2021 08:03

Glad it’s not just me!

dementedpixie · 10/12/2021 08:04

My dh gets his cut to a number 1. Would he accept that?

Kerantli · 10/12/2021 08:05

Let him have a bald head for the summer if he wants to have a complete shave.

I did it in June and have continued to shave my hair since as it is just so much easier to take care of and a LOT cooler without all the hair trapping in scalp heat Grin

You never know, he might turn round to you after it's shaved and then say he wants to grow it back out before school starts up again next year.

GaraMedouar · 10/12/2021 08:06

My exh used to have really short hair - like a number 2 or whatever it’s called. My boys when they were toddlers/young boys used to have similar as they went to the barber too - easy to keep - avoids nits.
So why don’t you suggest he has it clippered all over like a couple of millimetres - it’ll soon grow.

Cheerbear24 · 10/12/2021 08:06

Do you know what a fade is? Very popular on young boys / teens in the uk? Basically shaved and graded from a number 0.5 and with short scissor cut on top? That would be a good compromise.

sashh · 10/12/2021 08:07

A number 1 or 2.

And he has to wear a hat any time he is not inside with curtains/blinds closed.

Sunburn on the head is no laughing matter.

Kerantli · 10/12/2021 08:08

And since I can't edit posts

Don't let comments of "oh is he poorly?" get to you, if he's already blonde, even the closest grade will make him look bald for the first few days!

LordEmsworth · 10/12/2021 08:08

If I saw a bald child I would wonder if they were poorly.
So what? Why should the OP's child care what a random passer-by thinks?

It's hair. It'll grow back. I'd probably go very short rather than entirely bald but there will be more haircuts in future so opportunities to try different lengths.

Gretaburley · 10/12/2021 08:10

We if you're in Australia having a bald head in summer for a young dc is not very sensible.
I would explain that grandads hair fell out on it's own and young dc need some hair to protect their scalp from the sun.
Otherwise you'll spend summer constantly putting suncream on his head and checking he's wearing his hat. He can still have his hair quite short.
There's bodily autonomy and being a parent.

nannybeach · 10/12/2021 08:11

Would his school allow a completely bald head,most have some guidelines regarding extreme hair.

Kbyodjs · 10/12/2021 08:13

It’s a bit hypocritical to say he has control over his hair but then only be ok with him having it in ways you see as acceptable. It’s either his choice or it’s not.
Personally I wouldn’t let my 5 year old have his head shaved but equally my approach is not the same as yours

Magicalwoodlands · 10/12/2021 08:14

I would hate it and I wouldn’t allow it. I’m all for personal choice but within reason.

Bagelsandbrie · 10/12/2021 08:15

I wouldn’t let him completely shave it because apart from anything else it will be itchy and sore (dh shaves his head as he’s losing his hair and he complains about this). A 1 or 2 is fine.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/12/2021 08:19

Tell him if he still wants it shaved in the Summer he can give it a go, but winter is not the right time.

Hope he forgets, obviously, but if he really wants it shorn, give him a blade 2 when it's warmer.

Sceptre86 · 10/12/2021 08:20

If it is acceptable for a boy to have very long hair then why not totally bald? I agree that it probably won't look as nice but since you agree with the whole having body autonomy thing then surely you should go ahead with your child's wishes? Your current behaviour is hypocritical.

Frazzled2207 · 10/12/2021 08:23

I’d let him cut it very short but would say no to a complete shave

ohreallynotreally · 10/12/2021 08:26

I wouldn’t. Apart from the fact it looks awful ,hair is there for a reason. To protect the scalp from excessive sun rays or extreme cold .

Shedmistress · 10/12/2021 08:27

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Tell him if he still wants it shaved in the Summer he can give it a go, but winter is not the right time.

Hope he forgets, obviously, but if he really wants it shorn, give him a blade 2 when it's warmer.

Warmer than Australia in the summer?
Comedycook · 10/12/2021 08:28

I'd compromise with a grade 1/2. I'd probably tell him that his head will get sunburn if he has it all off so that's why he can't have it.

Xmasprrssiehelp · 10/12/2021 08:29

He is 5 he has no idea what he wants.

Thegreencup · 10/12/2021 08:29

@Gretaburley

We if you're in Australia having a bald head in summer for a young dc is not very sensible. I would explain that grandads hair fell out on it's own and young dc need some hair to protect their scalp from the sun. Otherwise you'll spend summer constantly putting suncream on his head and checking he's wearing his hat. He can still have his hair quite short. There's bodily autonomy and being a parent.
Your scalp can still get sunburnt/damaged even with a full head of hair.
LittleMG · 10/12/2021 08:29

If he’s at school they might not like that. Schools I’ve worked in said not less than a no 2. I’d go down that line and just say it’s not allowed, sorry and then it’s not you being mean is it.

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