My cat is an arsehole

[Besswess88]

Digs into one type of food like it’s his last meal on earth, I go and buy a box of 40 sachets and he looks at me like I have presented him with his own shit to eat.

Argh!! What to do? Why is he so fucking fussy?!

My cat isn't so picky about the type of food so much (all pouches accepted & any flavour of Purina biscuits), but requests a larger breakfast and lots of smaller amounts through the evening, to include everyone in the house feeding her. The pleasure is her screaming in our faces for food to receive a portion of it, promptly look through us as though we no longer exist, until she needs another small meal. She is very vocal and particularly likes making us follow her to her bowl. It's like Lassie but the arsehole will not do this to save us if one of us collapsed, as we'd then just be walked over.

We can't give fewer larger meals in the evening as it spoils her fun and she throws it up, magically missing the laminate and saving it for the carpeted stairs!

If he's hungry, he'll eat it. Maybe get him a sticker chart.

My dad's cat likes to scream for breakfast at any time from about 4am onwards. Dad has decided it's easier to give in to the fat furry bastard and go back to sleep than to keep trying to shush him.

This is the same man who used to hate cats.

It could be worse.
Mine obligingly eats the first pack or two, purrs a lot, rubs her head on my legs to say she likes it.
Sees a large box of the stuff arrive - eats a pack, looks at me lovingly - then regurgitates it all and walks off with a rude tail gesture.
Waits ten minutes, comes back wailing to be fed.

YABU for speaking against your cat.

Know your place, human!

@BarbedButterfly

My old cat adored this one type of food, Bozita that I had to order in from Germany until one time they had a special offer so I bought three boxes. Hated it from then on. I ended up working my way through the list on Zooplus and he would always have a food twice before deciding he hated it and me forever. God I miss the furry little arse

I have many many boxes of Bozita - she couldn't get enough of it, Until the big delivery arrived

My cat is an absolute arsehole. Her food bowl is on the worktop in the utility room - so the dog can’t get at it.
She yowls to be lifted up onto the worktop to eat (she’s a fecking cat and is perfectly capable of getting up there herself), and will have a few mouthfuls before jumping down (oh yes, she can manage that no bother), just so that she can come and find you wherever you are in the house, and will then yowl at you to lift her back up again.
She does this several times every bloody night.
Side note - there are only two of us who are allowed to lift her, she will stalk off if ds1 tries to assist her.
Absolute arsehole.

I think this is a pretty accurate summary of cats
vm.tiktok.com/ZM87T7unQ/
Still love mine to bits though

I adore my cats but they are all arseholes.
I posted earlier about a cat drinking fountain so I have already said some things but I will list everything they do
They are all 17 but that is no excuse
They all shit in the house and wee despite all my efforts
They also shit in the next door neighbours garden right by the front door
They pick and choose the food. I buy Royal Canin Siamese and if it runs out they will not eat anything else
They scratch all the furniture even though they have a cat scratching post
They sit on the roof of my car ( its an eleven year old cabriolet) and shed hair on it which is almost impossible to get off
They lick the butter if it is left out on the unit top
They all try to sleep on my head at night Why??
I found out ages ago that they go to a neighbours house and sit on their knees so they are disloyal bastards too.
They walk in front of you as you go upstairs and stop .. then as you try to step over them they move again.
They follow me up the ladder when I go in the loft and hide. Every bloody time.
They sit by the dogs food so she can't eat it. She is frightened of them. When she walks past them the two females whack her with their paws. One of them bites her ears
If I take the dog for a walk they follow me down the street and have to be chased back.

In the past when they were younger and more agile they would climb everywhere and smash ornaments. They would climb onto the roof and have to be got down. They would run up the curtains as well and they would climb in the Christmas tree and perch on the branches. They have pulled more than one tree over.
One of them could open drawers and steal cat treats
One of them climbed into a neighbours house through a tiny window in her pantry one Christmas and attacked the raw turkey on the unit top. That was bad. .She knew it was him but could not prove it.
I will not even mention the destruction of wildlife and the mess in the house when they brought birds in, oh and the rats as well - bringing them in live and the rats running off and hiding only to be killed later and left for me to discover.
Dirty feet marks on clothes freshly ironed laid out on the bed.
Boy cat was cock of the neighbourhood in our old house. He would thrash every cat on the street. The neighbours would chase him off and often he would come in wet. I assumed he had been sprayed with a water pistol, but the worst thing that happened to him was one day i went into the back garden and he was laid on the patio.
He miaowed to me and could not get up.
I took him to the vet. He had either been kicked or hit with something so hard his pelvis was broken.
The vet said he could operate or we could cage him for I can't remember how long, and we decided to cage him.
We never found out what had happened and it was all a long time ago and he is fine now, but it was our guess that he was such a nuisance that someone did something to him out of anger.
It's been an eventful life and they are still behaving badly even at the age of 17 but would I change it? Not a bit. Do I love them ? Oh yes.
Would I get another cat when they are all gone?? Not a bloody Siamese ! ! Siamese are the worst arseholes but I do believe that Bengals are more destructive and violent.

@maddiemookins16mum she's a doll. She also doesn't age. At all. I presume she will someday, but right now she is 11 and looks and acts exactly as she did at 3. I attribute this to the fact she has no stress in her life, due to the hard limit on the number of events her brain can store. She had to get ankle surgery last year and I think her recuperation was a lot easier than it would be with a bright cat. I just moved a few things around in her crate/room and it was a whole new environment to her.

My other cat is sharp as a tack, though, and she is kind of an arsehole.

I thought I'd lucked out, cats loved a really cheap brand of tinned food I brought home one day - could not get enough of it.

Until I bought a whole pallet of the stuff. Would not touch it. Kept it for a month, hoping the novelty value would kick in. Nope.

It's now at the food bank, where other people's cats can hate it.

YABVU: rejection of food is an ascetic practice to honour Bastet & frankly I am Shocked & Dismayed by all this trampling of feline religious expression. Pchah.

Mine has just nicked the cream out of my coffee because I made the rookie error of putting the cup down - she is now scratching the coffee table, trying to bury the cup so she can come back to it later!
She will eat anything and everything - I have to physically stop her from climbing onto my plate. The other one will only eat two flavours of a specific wet food (I live in fear of it being discontinued) and dry biscuits if they are tiny and hard - any sign of squidgyness and they are firmly rejected!

Here are the little buggers with my Christmas tree!

I put the Xmas tree up a week ago. My two promptly chewed through the lights. Bought another set. Chewed those too. I now have a very miserable looking tree and two very pleased looking little fuckers.

@iloveeverykindofcat

Not all cats are aresholes! Only one of mine is! The other is an absolute darling and a sweetie. But she's very, very slow in the brain. She genuinely doesn't understand normal cat things. When she was young I asked the vet if there was something wrong with her. He inspected her and pronounced her a very healthy, very happy, very sweet-natured cat. I asked 'then why does she get lost in bushes/not understand I can't pick up a blanket she's sitting on/etc'. This man looked me in the eye and said "All mammalian intelligence is on a curve. Someone has to be at the bottom."

The mammalian intelligence line made me laugh 😂

If your cat isn't an arsehole the odds are you've actually got a really small, really fluffy dog

Mine is definitely an arsehole. His food bowls were empty for less than 20 minutes so in that time he brought back a dead rat and placed it by the empty food bowls.
He's now also decided that his preferred fish cat food in jelly (never ever gravy) is an offence to him and would rather eat the leftovers the baby throws onto the floor from her high chair.

Says it all!

@MintyCedric

One of my girls not only knows where the Dreamies live, but will get on the worktop, open the drawer, take them out, bit the packet open and close the drawer afterwards to gaslight me and DD into thinking we've left them out.

Here's the little bugger trying to pretend she's not fucking with the Christmas tree.

@MintyCedric from that description and picture I'm pretty sure we share a cat...

Absolute arsehole.

@IncompleteSenten

If your cat isn't an arsehole the odds are you've actually got a really small, really fluffy dog

😂 😂 😂

@Anordinarymum Siamese definitely have the most cattitude. Bengals are noisy and adventurous but nowhere near as hard as they make out. The cat you don't want to mess with is the large ginger mog. Always the local cat bully and champion hunter, although he (and it's usually a he) can sometimes be very affectionate with people he likes. Often called Tigger.

[quote TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain]@Anordinarymum Siamese definitely have the most cattitude. Bengals are noisy and adventurous but nowhere near as hard as they make out. The cat you don't want to mess with is the large ginger mog. Always the local cat bully and champion hunter, although he (and it's usually a he) can sometimes be very affectionate with people he likes. Often called Tigger.[/quote]
In my last house the entire street was run by a tiny, miniature scrap of a tortoiseshell called Tuppence. She had full passage through every house. She just hammered on people's doors until they opened them and went through. I saw her bully male cats who were probably three times her weight. Once she was on my roof aggravating my cats, so I went outside, looked up at her and said 'Tuppence go away please because you're winding them up'. She leaned over so that her face was directly above mine and spat directly in my face. I couldn't believe it.

My late cat was fussy and we had to rotate food, if she had it for more the 3 days in a row she would refuse to eat it, we found that the best ine for her that she always ate was Applaws

My current cat is more like a dog, he eats anything I put down and everytime I walk into he kitchen for anything he saunters along in front of me trying to trip me asking for more food and if he doesn't get fed bang in his afternoon fed time he will get into his cat biscuits and help himself