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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you take this as someone trying to tell you something ?

94 replies

gagababy · 09/12/2021 17:46

This is a random one. Just for fun, more or less.

Not a huge problem in my life. But I've noticed that my mother in law always tells me she's ' cooked without oil ' and very ' little salt '.

Whenever she makes something and serves it, she always mentions this.

I personally don't ever mention that kind of thing when I cook for people. I don't particularly cook with lots of oil and salt, by any means. But I do use oil and salt when I cook and I'm starting to get paranoid her constant reminders of this, are some sort of dig ?

She also doesn't use stock cubes in her soups, I always do. She always mentions that she's not used stock cubes and no oil in her soup. She knows I use them.

She mentions it every time we eat together or she has cooked something.

Would you just take it at face value? She likes to remind everyone how healthy her cooking is ? Or is it more of a brag ? Or is it an actual dig and a way to tell me on the sly she thinks my cooking is unhealthy ?

She's the kind of person who repeats things a lot in general, until you do what she thinks is right. She also thinks how she does things is always best and tries to get her children to emulate her. She is very set in her ways and completely resistant to change or anything different/ new. She kind of sneers at people who try to do things different. She thinks she's quite superior and better than people. Her way, is the best way.

Again, not a huge problem in my life. Just interested what the general consensus is on this.

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 09/12/2021 17:48

You're probably overthinking out because you're used to her making digs - just smile and nod!

CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 09/12/2021 17:50

She possibly thinks your food is too salty but is trying to be polite?

RaininSummer · 09/12/2021 17:51

Overthinking I expect. If she's older then she possibly cooks without salt for blood pressure reasons and oil for health. Maybe she says it so you know you might want to add salt if you like it or she may be proud of what she sees as healthy cooking. Who knows

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 09/12/2021 17:52

I'd assume she finds your food too oily/salty but doesn't know how to tell you Grin

DeepaBeesKit · 09/12/2021 17:52

How much salt do you use? Do you add to every single meal?

I probably say this to my mum occasionally because she seems to think it's impossible to cook a meal with added salt, everything tastes so salty I can hardly eat it. She will use a stock cube (salty) then add a load more salt until it's all you can taste! Her tastebuds are so used to it.

ProudThrilledHappy · 09/12/2021 17:53

At worst its a passive aggressive dig that will only work if you react to it, so smile and nod!

AlphabetAerobics · 09/12/2021 17:53

I’d be tempted to fight PA with PA

pats wrist

“Never mind, I’m sure it’ll be lovely anyway”.

Lou98 · 09/12/2021 17:54

I put a lot of salt in my food so I would personally take it as she was telling me so I knew to add my own seasoning as required - only you know your MIL though

ChangeChingyChange · 09/12/2021 17:54

I dont know but she sounds bloody annoying. Is she one of those who still picks her pension up from the post office? Has never heard of a direct debit or a smart phone? Can't bear people who don't change with the times then moan.

DeepaBeesKit · 09/12/2021 17:54

Also I'm guilty of thinking its safer to cook without salt, then everyone who wants it can add it to their dish at the table. If you cook with it in people who need to avoid it for health reasons can't.

gagababy · 09/12/2021 17:55

If I'm near her while she's cooking, it feels like she's kind of showing me:

' see I'm not putting much salt or oil '

Like she's trying to teach me...

I don't get complaints about overly salty food from anyone. Or overly oily. I've asked even my own mum, who'd tell me.

OP posts:
gagababy · 09/12/2021 17:55

@AlphabetAerobics

I’d be tempted to fight PA with PA

pats wrist

“Never mind, I’m sure it’ll be lovely anyway”.

BRILLIANT response. But she wouldn't get it.
OP posts:
ItsDinah · 09/12/2021 17:56

A lot of people want to know what is in their food and don't want anything with added salt or oil. She may always say this to guests to reassure them. I've family members who don't use any salt,not for health reasons but because they /their parents never have. They always say there's no salt,even to family, this is to let those who like salt to add it to their own portions. Stock cubes are very salty so people used to food with them would probably like to add salt.

Forion · 09/12/2021 17:57

Is her food quite bland? We don't use much salt or stock, but you need some otherwise it can be a bit tasteless.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 09/12/2021 17:57

What is she like other than this?

ASongOfRiceAndPeas · 09/12/2021 17:58

Sounds like her food is bland as hell.

In all seriousness though, probably is a minor dig or hint at your food.

gagababy · 09/12/2021 17:59

@ItsDinah

A lot of people want to know what is in their food and don't want anything with added salt or oil. She may always say this to guests to reassure them. I've family members who don't use any salt,not for health reasons but because they /their parents never have. They always say there's no salt,even to family, this is to let those who like salt to add it to their own portions. Stock cubes are very salty so people used to food with them would probably like to add salt.
I think she's definitely trying to reassure me that there's no oil and salt in the food she cooks, because she only ever says it to me at the table.

But I've never in my life made any big deal out of eating salt or oil. If anything, I have always been more low carb. So if she mentioned ; oh there's courgettie in here, rather than pasta, than that would ring true about the reassurance thing.

She only ever says it to me lol and I don't have a special diet. Except more towards low sugar / low carb, high protein.

OP posts:
ancientgran · 09/12/2021 17:59

I cook without salt as my husband, mid 70s and disabled, will put loads of salt on food without even trying it first. I don't use alot of oil but I do use it and I use stock cubes. I guess we all do things our own way for various reasons or none.

DeepaBeesKit · 09/12/2021 18:00

So are you adding salt to every single meal?

I'd just avoid the issue and choose a meal I didnt need to cook with salt the next time she came.

Obviously she thinks you add salt that isnt needed. You think it is. Horses for courses. If it bothers you, maybe say "yes, but I prefer the flavour with a little salt added, so I use it. If you'd prefer your food without any at all let me know, I can cook without adding it next time & I'll season my portion at the table."

Babyvenusplant · 09/12/2021 18:00

My ex-mil used to do this all the time to me, it was definitely a subtle dig

Babymamamama · 09/12/2021 18:00

Leave the salt out when cooking for her and allow people to season to taste?

gagababy · 09/12/2021 18:01

It sounds like most people think it's a dig..

OP posts:
Mamamia7962 · 09/12/2021 18:01

Maybe she's not allowed too much salt so can definitely taste it when you cook with it.

AnFiaRuaNua · 09/12/2021 18:02

Blow her mind and tell her you're low carb high fat for health reasons

RedHot22 · 09/12/2021 18:02

I would be tempted to cook with less salt and oil and then make a comment that there’s loads in there