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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you take this as someone trying to tell you something ?

94 replies

gagababy · 09/12/2021 17:46

This is a random one. Just for fun, more or less.

Not a huge problem in my life. But I've noticed that my mother in law always tells me she's ' cooked without oil ' and very ' little salt '.

Whenever she makes something and serves it, she always mentions this.

I personally don't ever mention that kind of thing when I cook for people. I don't particularly cook with lots of oil and salt, by any means. But I do use oil and salt when I cook and I'm starting to get paranoid her constant reminders of this, are some sort of dig ?

She also doesn't use stock cubes in her soups, I always do. She always mentions that she's not used stock cubes and no oil in her soup. She knows I use them.

She mentions it every time we eat together or she has cooked something.

Would you just take it at face value? She likes to remind everyone how healthy her cooking is ? Or is it more of a brag ? Or is it an actual dig and a way to tell me on the sly she thinks my cooking is unhealthy ?

She's the kind of person who repeats things a lot in general, until you do what she thinks is right. She also thinks how she does things is always best and tries to get her children to emulate her. She is very set in her ways and completely resistant to change or anything different/ new. She kind of sneers at people who try to do things different. She thinks she's quite superior and better than people. Her way, is the best way.

Again, not a huge problem in my life. Just interested what the general consensus is on this.

OP posts:
Mumwithapub · 09/12/2021 18:03

I think it may be a generational thing, food in her past may have been cooked with lots of oil and salt but doctors may have had to nag her to reduce in her diet and now she is making a point of it. Don't over think it.

Skeumorph · 09/12/2021 18:03

'Oh don't worry! It still tastes fine. As long as you are getting your sodium elsewhere. Important healthy fats in olive oil of course and that's harder to get elsewhere. But not everyone needs to make sure their food is as healthy as possible all the time! Just eat what you enjoy!'

NeverRTFT · 09/12/2021 18:04

Disingenuous dig, plus virtue signalling. My mum does this to my SIL. maddening. Ignore her - there's nothing wrong with your cooking

Stiffcondomhat · 09/12/2021 18:05

I use a fuckton of salt and oil. The very thought of soup sans stock! Shock

I think she's waiting for you to compliment her on the taste, despite the lack of flavour enhancers.

DeepaBeesKit · 09/12/2021 18:05

We don't use much salt or stock, but you need some otherwise it can be a bit tasteless.

It really depends on your palate & what it is used to. I've never eaten much salt. I find that in quite a few meals there will be an ingredient which already contains it (bacon, butter, cheese, soy sauce etc and thats enough for me.

Salt isnt the only flavour. I love garlic, tomato, cumin, chilli, sesame etc so the food I eat isnt bland its just not salty.

gagababy · 09/12/2021 18:05

@NeverRTFT

Disingenuous dig, plus virtue signalling. My mum does this to my SIL. maddening. Ignore her - there's nothing wrong with your cooking
Yeah like I said, I'm more low carb, high protein. But I don't constantly rub it in that she eats lots of carbs...

I live and let live. Why can't everyone just do the same.

OP posts:
Callcat · 09/12/2021 18:07

Oh gawd my mum is like this. And the 'my way is the ONLY way' attitude. The last time she made soup I secretly dumped a couple of pinches of salt and stirred it in while her back was turned...Best soup she'd ever made according to her. I didn't tell het about the salt 🤣

grooveonthemove · 09/12/2021 18:10

How old is she? My mother is nearly 80 and still subscribes to the 1980s mantra of 'all fat is bad'. When I go to her house and offer to cook (which she gladly accepts) there's not a drop of olive oil to be found. It's literally like the ghost of Rosemary Conley lives there Shock

gagababy · 09/12/2021 18:10

The repeating of things really really bugs me. It's like she's waiting for me to say something. And as soon as I do, she'll turn it around on me being strange.

OP posts:
gersteddybears · 09/12/2021 18:10

I'd say yes it's a dig. I mean if it were my mum and she was always saying it I'd say yes I know mum u tell us every time 🙄 I wld not say that to mil though. I'd expect ur dh pipe up and say something as it's his mum. U can be more blunt with ur own parents.

gagababy · 09/12/2021 18:11

@grooveonthemove

How old is she? My mother is nearly 80 and still subscribes to the 1980s mantra of 'all fat is bad'. When I go to her house and offer to cook (which she gladly accepts) there's not a drop of olive oil to be found. It's literally like the ghost of Rosemary Conley lives there Shock
Yes so she's actually only in her 50s. But 100 percent subscribes to that mantra that all fat is bad.
OP posts:
CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 09/12/2021 18:11

@AlphabetAerobics

I’d be tempted to fight PA with PA

pats wrist

“Never mind, I’m sure it’ll be lovely anyway”.

Haha yes do this if you're sure it's a dig and not just her trying to politely say your food is really greasy and salty
gagababy · 09/12/2021 18:12

@gersteddybears

I'd say yes it's a dig. I mean if it were my mum and she was always saying it I'd say yes I know mum u tell us every time 🙄 I wld not say that to mil though. I'd expect ur dh pipe up and say something as it's his mum. U can be more blunt with ur own parents.
Yeah if my mum did this, I would tell her to be quiet.

I would say, you've made your point. Can we move on now ?

OP posts:
NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 09/12/2021 18:13

I tend to oversalt when cooking to my own preference - so if I’m cooking for family I often don’t salt at all, and would warn them so that they are prompted to add their own seasoning.

Wouldn’t mention anything else about cooking methods unless I knew I was dealing with a fuss ass. I have friends who can never resist mentioning their air fryer though, I think it’s gadget of the moment.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 09/12/2021 18:16

Are you my SIL?! Ha, my mum is exactly the same.

She does it because it makes her feel superior and moral etc.

She does exactly the same about health, oil, salt, sugar, dairy, meat, fat in general. Then, when she's alone, she goes to the chippy a few times a week! (Has admitted to me).

I bet your MIL is the same. Says one thing to impress but scoffs crap behind people's backs.

Ignore her, or better yet say "oh yes I can tell there's no stock; I use stock to add more depth of flavour" and leave it at that.

ThinWomansBrain · 09/12/2021 18:17

I'd just ask for the salt and season my soup in the bowl.
And if bread served with soup? Slather butter on it. Grin

Mysterylovingboy · 09/12/2021 18:21

My MIL always announces there's no salt/stock. She used to cook with salt and stock but for health reasons has had to stop, so I assume it's her way of letting us know we might want to add salt to get the full flavour.

Plopcorn · 09/12/2021 18:25

Next time simply ask her ’Why do you feel you need to tell me this every time?’ ’It sounds a bit funny, that’s all.’ Soup with no stock sounds dreadful.

BunTooti · 09/12/2021 18:25

Is her food nice?
I love salt, oil and stock Grin

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 09/12/2021 18:26

I’d probably just say

“that’s alright you don’t need to tell me each time I know you don’t like to use much - it’s ok I don’t mind Grin

HangOnToYourself · 09/12/2021 18:37

Her soup sounds shit

TillyTopper · 09/12/2021 18:45

Yes, I'd say it's a dig. Make something for her (without her seeing) and don't use oil or salt and see what she says .

cultkid · 09/12/2021 18:46

Say to her ahh that's why your dinners taste so bland

She won't say it again 🥳

sonjadog · 09/12/2021 18:52

My Mother does this! Not just about cooking, her way is assumed to be the best way of doing anything. It is very wearing. I just grunt or say something not committal, and start talking about something else.

Myrrfect · 09/12/2021 18:54

Ask her if she’s given up oil and salt for health reasons and say you’ll make her a portion without the next time she eats with you.
And see what she says.
(You can replace health with weight but stand well back when you say so)

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