Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Collection for the boss... inappropriate?

294 replies

Littlejuice · 09/12/2021 06:30

Always, always buy my whole team Xmas gifts. Just a bottle of wine or something but to say thanks.

As a senior manager however, and in my view well paid despite long hours, I do not expect or wish to receive one (public sector)

We've had a new director for TWO MONTHS who has recruited one of his previous employees into team, this month. Email from new starter yesterday sharing his Bacs details to all the staff (many of whom on a quarter of the director salary) saying it's nice if we do a bit of Xmas appreciation and collect for the boss...

I have contributed and said to my team I'll put their shares in as team contribution as I am so conscious many of them struggling - but isn't this just really not recognising the situation of some people? Dear people on 20k please donate to buy someone on 120k a gift?

OP posts:
Lovewinemorethanhusband · 10/12/2021 17:45

I wouldn't be contributing either and I would make it known , I've had a falling out with some work colleagues over people that got severance because they were not performing (director said so !) when the whole company was offered severance but only the shortest was given it when they asked for money each to get them a leaving present ! I was like you can piss off the 20k severance is their leaving got as we all know they should have been sacked but the company was to shit to do it !!!

Gwenhwyfar · 10/12/2021 17:48

Sounds really bad. You also shouldn't really give out people's bank details.

Blossom64265 · 10/12/2021 17:49

That is completely inappropriate.
Gifts flow down with rare exceptions. Secret Santa is one. Another would be an especially close working where the junior person has gotten to know the senior person well and can select an inexpensive, but highly personalized gift.

RenoSusan · 10/12/2021 17:56

It is widely circulated in the US that gifts are given down not up. Nothing for bosses or upper management. Only given by bosses to their staff or anyone who reports to the boss.

Pipsquiggle · 10/12/2021 17:56

No f**King way would I contribute to this. It is outrageous.

The man who started this collection needs to 'read the room' - does he have any emotional intelligence?

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/12/2021 18:12

As a manager (with power) you need to call this out on behalf of your team (without power).

Dibbydoos · 10/12/2021 18:20

Someone's got a brown nose and it's not you!

I probably would have told them it's inappropriate tbh.

sussexman · 10/12/2021 18:22

Of course, it's inappropriate. I'd both reply saying no thanks and forward onto HR. Having had a previous public sector role, I'd be astonished if it isn't breaching HR policies.

zingally · 10/12/2021 18:28

I've always been of the understanding that any sort of gift that requires cash NEVER goes UP the foodchain. It only ever goes down.

It's tacky in the extreme.

billy1966 · 10/12/2021 18:31

I hope a staff member leaks this to the press.

Bullshit like this needs leaking, shaming.

Awful that management stand over it.

I really think OP you should give HR a heads up.

The entitlement and optics are just dreadful.

Why would yoi contribute your money to something so wrong?

That you think you might be targeted for not contributing indicates toxicity.

This person is only there months too.

pinkpantherpink · 10/12/2021 18:32

Woah. Interesting to hear the boss has brought someone in from their old role.

Big no from me. And my own boss would be mortified.

stilldumdedumming · 10/12/2021 18:38

Blimey! We do it the other way too. We all contribute to a Christmas collection for the admin staff (we are not management - more professional/ technical types) because quite frankly they are amazing and we would sink without them and they don't get paid as much as us.

AliceThorpe · 10/12/2021 18:41

Gifts flow down not up

starfishmummy · 10/12/2021 18:45

That's bad. I'm ex public sector and we would never have done that. Used to be that team leaders bought chocolates for the team but recently it was just a secret santa.

Nanny0gg · 10/12/2021 18:45

@Littlejuice

I am glad it's not just me. I don't have the guts to provide feedback, I did try gently and didn't land! Will look at that site, thanks
You're a team leader? Surely you need 'guts' occasionally?

You should have told the Newbie that you don't do that here

Very presumptuous of them. I'd watch your back if I were you.

Kind of you to pay their share though

KarenTheGammonRemoaner · 10/12/2021 18:50

You're so lovely, well done you. That person is an absolute freak. His BACS details? I would send mine back and say all input welcome. Divvy.

rosesandbees · 10/12/2021 18:53

This makes me so cross. The boss should be giving the gifts not excepting them.
This happened to me once (working in public sector and our pay rises had been frozen for two years). The big boss retired and we were all expected to contribute to his retirement gift. He was retiring in full salary pension well over 100k year. Most of us had never even met him and the majority of the office didn’t want to contribute as we were not earning much and no pay rise. Our section manager went into my desk when I wasn’t there and took the tea and coffee money and put it in on our behalf.
I was furious and told him it was theft, he said it looked bad that our section hadn’t contributed. Thankfully he paid it back.

Snoozer11 · 10/12/2021 18:59

My line manager usually buys us all a bottle of wine and we reciprocate with a collection for him.

It evens out though, and the lowest paid would be earning 26k whereas he would be on ~100k.

I think the new employee is out of order. I can't grasp how a new member of a team can be so confident to impose this.

Plumbuddle · 10/12/2021 19:04

@rosesandbees

This makes me so cross. The boss should be giving the gifts not excepting them. This happened to me once (working in public sector and our pay rises had been frozen for two years). The big boss retired and we were all expected to contribute to his retirement gift. He was retiring in full salary pension well over 100k year. Most of us had never even met him and the majority of the office didn’t want to contribute as we were not earning much and no pay rise. Our section manager went into my desk when I wasn’t there and took the tea and coffee money and put it in on our behalf. I was furious and told him it was theft, he said it looked bad that our section hadn’t contributed. Thankfully he paid it back.
good on you for confronting him that made my blood boil
SunshineCake1 · 10/12/2021 19:07

[quote Littlejuice]@EishetChayil I tried, got nowhere, and instead paid their share.[/quote]
Come on. You could have said no. He didn't have you at gun point to give the money.

I'd have gone to the manager and said X wants all the staff to buy you a gift but I assume you feel it is inappropriate given the difference in salaries.

WTAFhappened123 · 10/12/2021 19:08

Wow! I’d be popping to that persons office to let them know that it’s not really appropriate to expect employees already struggling to put in for a present for the boss! Just not on par with reality

tttigress · 10/12/2021 19:10

Oh no, what a creep the new team member is!

Mellowyellow222 · 10/12/2021 19:19

As a senior director I would be mortified to receive a gift from my team. As others have said gifts flow downwards.

I paid for the Christmas dinner this year instead of first - but now realise not everyone went so that a bit awkward. But would hate them to buy for me

SpeckledlyHen · 10/12/2021 19:21

It should be the other way round.. the boss buying the staff a gift.. I just don't understand all this gift buying though.. (don't get the whole have to buy a teacher a gift either)

Letemeatquinoa · 10/12/2021 19:23

We had an e-card sent round to our boss who will be leaving soon. We could all add messages which made it quite personal and apparently he loved it, I think there’s a small charge though: didgimo.com

I think most bosses probably prefer to know they were appreciated rather than their staff having to collect money for them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread