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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think being the other woman is acceptable in some circumstances?

83 replies

Yesssahhh · 07/12/2021 22:41

Do you think becoming “the other woman” is understandable in certain circumstances?

My friend is currently doing this right now with another woman’s man and has done similar before. She also has a boyfriend of her own.
Basically, my friend thinks that when women have been horrible to her (unprovoked) being the other woman with their significant others as a form of revenge is understandable. I’m wondering if other people would think this is acceptable or at least understandable?

I didn’t know what to say when I first heard this. My other friend hearing this was like, “you better not get on the wrong side of X”. Lol.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/12/2021 22:43

You really need to choose better friends.

Original poster
Yesssahhh · 07/12/2021 22:43

For the vote

YABU - no I cannot understand being the other woman in that circumstance

YANBU - yes I can understand being the other woman in that circumstance

OP posts:
MollysDolly · 07/12/2021 22:44

Are you bored?

MarigoldMoonStone · 07/12/2021 22:44

Your friend sounds pathetic

StoneofDestiny · 07/12/2021 22:44

Your friend sounds like an utter sleazebag

Original poster
Yesssahhh · 07/12/2021 22:45

@MollysDolly

Are you bored?
Lol, believe it or not, this was an actual conversation I had
OP posts:
Cheerbear24 · 07/12/2021 22:47

Yes watch your back around this friend.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/12/2021 22:48

If that many women are horrible to her (unprovoked) then she might want to ask herself why. Maybe because she's the kind of person who shags men who have partners.

AngelonTopoftheTree · 07/12/2021 22:49

That's worse for me. She's being vindictive and doing something to hurt another in the most horrendous way & why?? Because someone "was horrible" to her - what's her definition of someone being horrible? Not saying hello in the supermarket? Not holding a door? I couldn't be friends with someone like that 😡

Cornonthecobblers · 07/12/2021 22:50

OP I think you already know the answer.

Comedycook · 07/12/2021 22:51

What if a woman is horrible to her but she finds the guy unattractive? Does she still shag him as revenge?

Fatherliamdeliverance · 07/12/2021 22:52

Really odd attitude to cheat on her own boyfriend and instigate a sexual affair to get back at someone. Using sex as currency in any way is quite sleazy really. And yes, are women badly upsetting her often enough that this becomes a pattern or is that just her excuse? And where does her boyfriend fit in? Do these slights justify hurting him too?

3scape · 07/12/2021 22:53

Wow. Obviously not. What a peach. She's just a ticking time bomb who will suddenly go off whenever she seems slighted etc I guess there's nothing she considers out of bounds if it's for revenge. Nasty.

Don't send her a Christmas card is that a scratch the car offence or shit through the letterbox?

Skysblue · 07/12/2021 22:56

Grim.

Both of you.

Pigeoninthehouse · 07/12/2021 22:56

What does she do, woman is rude to your friend in Tesco, pushes to front of the queue, friend then follows woman home and seduces her husband on the qt. Something like that.
Is she super hot and no man can refuse her.

PinkAndPurpleClouds · 07/12/2021 22:56
Hmm
PrincessNutella · 07/12/2021 23:07

So, to put this bluntly, your friend is going to open her legs and fuck a man not for the joy of it, but just to bring pain into the life of another woman and her family?

She sounds like a winner.

thepeopleversuswork · 07/12/2021 23:10

The more relevant question is why on earth would you choose to have someone like this as a friend? Of course its not acceptable its totally unhinged behaviour.

I would keep as far from her as possible.

SammyScrounge · 07/12/2021 23:17

@Pigeoninthehouse

What does she do, woman is rude to your friend in Tesco, pushes to front of the queue, friend then follows woman home and seduces her husband on the qt. Something like that. Is she super hot and no man can refuse her.
Super available, more like
user53782991 · 07/12/2021 23:22

That’s hilarious @Pigeoninthehouse

Bells3032 · 07/12/2021 23:24

Your friend sounds vile. There are no reasons when being the other woman (knowingly) is right and this is one of the worst reasons I can think of.

I would really thjnk twice about having someone like that in my life as the smallest slight and she'll throw herself at your man. She probably will when you cut her from your life.

Malibuismysecrethome · 07/12/2021 23:31

So the men involved have no say in this. She assumes they will all sleep with her, and they do

Polecat03 · 07/12/2021 23:36

Wtf did I just read?
Surely no one lives like this, or thinks, yep, acceptable. She sounds unhinged.

user53782991 · 07/12/2021 23:37

What do you think @Yesssahhh or are you the friend in question?

fabricfanatic · 07/12/2021 23:49

I understand the urge for revenge in certain circumstances, but it's no excuse. It's still a horrible thing to do, and it makes you a horrible person, imo. Even more so if you have a boyfriend/partner/husband that you're cheating on, in the process.

I'd be distancing myself from that one! She sounds like trouble.