Nursery called social services after toddler’s black eye

[Mentalhealthcrisishelpplease]

I’m in bits and terrified here. Today my son was at nursery and my DM collected him. When she got home in the light, she noticed my DS, 20 months, had a black eye. She called me and asked if I had seen it before nursery and I said no. She called the nursery and asked what had happened, and one of the girls was very rambled in saying that my son had fallen from the slide and hit the side of his eye on the wood, and that they had applied a cold compress, and then he was wobbly.

2 minutes later the manager called me in a hurry, nervously apologising and saying how angry she was with her staff for not calling me or updating our ParentZone app. In our contract it states that we as the parents are always notified if something happens like this.

It raised concerns with me, and I said I was sorry but I was going to pull DS from nursery due to negligence.

She accepted this and cancelled December’s sessions, however 15 minutes later I received a call from her saying she had contacted child’s services, because I had ‘too abruptly’ removed my son from nursery which made them suspicious.

So now, I’m going to have a call from social services and a toddler with an ever-developing black eye.

Someone please tell me it’s going to be okay :(

It'll be fine. I suspect at the moment people are being hyper-cautious about referring to social services!

It’s going to be OK.

That's a malicious report. I would be raising merry hell about this.

Your toddler was injured whilst in their care and you chose to remove him because they didnt even inform you. That's your choice to make. Immediately after removing him, they report you to social services? No. Not on. That's malicious.

Contact Ofsted. Contact your MP. I would be dragging that nursery through the mud.

I think you overreacted.

It will be absolutely fine. It sounds like the nursery manager is trying to cover her own back - your child was injured in her care and you weren’t informed. That’s her mistake, not yours, and if social services contact you I’d let them know you hurriedly removed your child because your child was injured there and it wasn’t communicated well, therefore you didn’t want to put them at risk again.

No help but my kids school called ss on me when my son went in with a scratch on his face, (him and my younger son had a fight) it was his first day of school so it totally ruined the experience for me ☹️ I knew he had the scratch but I didn’t think anything of it (was only small) and as it was first day I didn’t realise I had to inform the teachers of any marks, like I said it was tiny so didn’t even occur to me!

That’s such a bizarre reaction from the nursery! Did they say any more about the reasons for their concerns, what are they suspicious of? They’ve admitted that it happened on their watch so I really don’t understand what they’re suspicious of.

Just go along with it I think. Youve nothing to hide so no reason to be concerned about social services. Just let them know what’s happened and your reasons for pulling him out of nursery I.e. you don’t trust them to look after him.

It will be fine they might visit but remember YOU didn't send your child in injured THEY sent him home injured

Maybe get him checked by a Dr or nurse as he was "wobbly" afterwards be clear when you do that this was an accident at nursery not in the home

So now, I’m going to have a call from social services and a toddler with an ever-developing black eye.

I can't imagine social services would be interested tbh. If you had sent him in with the black eye, then pulled him out when questioned, I would expect them to inform social services but not the other way around. That makes no sense.

Just go and collect a copy of the accident report. You'll be fine.

Not sure why that made her suspicious though. Social services will do nothing.

Are you already under the care of social services - is your child attending nursery due to social services involvement?

If not, then I doubt they will be interested that you removed your child after an accident at nursery.
Did nursery give you a copy of their accident form? I would request one just so you have evidence of the accident at nursery.

It does sound like you overreacted a bit though. And the manager overreacted by calling social services.

That's ridiculous. I'd push back, they are panicking, surely, as they realise they cocked up by failing to contact you immediately when he was hurt.

If child services do contact you I'd raise this with them & let them know you've already contacted the nursery about the issue. Otherwise cooperate with whatever they want you to do, as you've done nothing wrong. They'll drop it pretty quickly once they realise.

I wouldn't personally worry at all about them notifying social services - you've got nothing to hide and there's no allegations against you.

But I'm surprised you would pull your child out of nursery so quickly - are you upset about the accident (which can happen) or about them not notifying you immediately? I would personally give them more time to investigate if I were otherwise happy with the care they provided.

But maybe there's a backstory?

Social Services should investigate the nursery. You explain what happened - that's all. Your mum will confirm what she noticed and her phone call to the nursery and what she was told. You explain your two further phone calls. Don't worry. I would also write a formal letter of complaint to the nursery about the behaviour of the manager .

Also, what are the suspicious of? As a childcare worker I would be suspicious if a child came to nursery bruised then was pulled out abruptly after I raised it, but that’s the opposite of what happened here!

Well it is completely unnecessary fir them to call SS. Does sound malicious

However, I do also think you overreacted and I wouldn’t have pulled my child over that. Toddlers do injure themselves.

It doesnt matter if people think you over reacted by pulling him out. I think you did too and lots of people are going to say that, but it really doesnt change the circumstances. For you, it was a good enough reason. You were unhappy with their care. Their response was to make a malicious report about you. That isnt Ok.

Sounds like arse covering.
They are going to phone social services because you removed your son from their care after he was injured.
Unless she is planning to lie and say he came in with a black eye!

Can you get something in writing? Even an email where you confirm you are withdrawing him due to the injury he sustained under their care.

Fwiw, kids fall and get hurt all the time. It's not great but it isn't always negligence that is actionable. Maybe she thinks you are going to try to sue or something stupid like that

Don't you worry lovely, it smacks of malicious reporting and every social worker will see it and be utterly pissed off at the nursery for creating more paperwork.

@Itsalmostanaccessory

That's a malicious report. I would be raising merry hell about this.

Your toddler was injured whilst in their care and you chose to remove him because they didnt even inform you. That's your choice to make. Immediately after removing him, they report you to social services? No. Not on. That's malicious.

Contact Ofsted. Contact your MP. I would be dragging that nursery through the mud.

I agree it's a malicious report and social services will see right through it. The nursery are acting appallingly, perhaps they're worried about you reporting them. You have nothing to worry about, and removing your child from an unsafe enviroment is a sensible decision.

Honestly SS well probably just call you, they can't visit everyone.
If they do call/visit you calmly explain that nursery didn't follow procedures for a potential head injury that concerned you so you removed your DS. Make sure you & your DM make notes while it's fresh in your head, is take a photo of his black eye and perhaps email the nursery with the picture stating why you are removing him.

It's very poor that they didn't call you immediately when mine have banged heads enough to make themselves wobbly we've always been called to come get them.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Well it is completely unnecessary fir them to call SS. Does sound malicious

However, I do also think you overreacted and I wouldn’t have pulled my child over that. Toddlers do injure themselves.

It’s not the injury though - my kids used to get injured all the time at nursery!

It’s the fact that it wasn’t communicated on pick-up, despite the child being wobbly afterwards. Plus the call from the manager saying she was angry at the staff doesn’t sound organised or professional.

All you need to do is explain what has happened if SS do call you, you haven't done anything wrong.

I would be kicking off about this too. Its clearly some kind of power play so they don't get in trouble for not following procedures.

SS won't do anything, and if the nursery were truly concerned they wouldn't warn you. I might be inclinclined to call SS first thing yourself actually and explain the situation and then report the nursery to OFSTED or the correct council department depending where you are.

I don't think we can be 100% sure it's malicious reporting. It certainly does sound like it, but it could be that the person who failed to report the injury properly also failed to give the manager an honest/accurate account! Which would put the nursery manager in a difficult position, and at the moment, people are going to err on the side of caution, aren't they?