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To be completely and utterly drained from all this uncertainty?
151

Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 13:26

Supposed to be abroad from the 18th Dec to 5th Jan in the far East but I'm dreading it. 4 pcrs each to do. Travel rules constantly changing. My anxiety is through the roof

I'm going to do an Xmas food shop on the 17th I'm case it all goes tits up. I hate all this not knowing I genuinely don't think I can take another year.

I know we should "suck it up" but never having anything to even focus on or look forward to is just utter and pure misery. Life is for living and I'm sick to death of constant bad news about covid etc

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Thegreencup · 06/12/2021 16:28

It is shit OP, I get it.

But I think by now most people (at least that I know of) have learned the lesson the hard way not to book anything too expensive/that you're not too arsed about missing out on/don't mind changing lastminute.com.

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QueenZoopla · 06/12/2021 16:31

Feel for you, OP, it's shit and feels never-ending. Ignore the "ooh well what do you expect/ "I'm bloody perfect" brigade and be pissed off , you've every right !

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FoxgloveSummers · 06/12/2021 16:33

But it's not about learning not to book things, it's about undertaking an informed gamble where the prize is e.g. "get to see my mum" and the potential loss is financial (and stress either way). With such important irreplaceable things at stake, it's not surprising many will try even knowing - as we all do - that plans may not come off. And it is fucking draining!

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Followthefog · 06/12/2021 16:35

I’m with you OP.

It seems some have no sympathy as “booking a holiday in a pandemic is a chance you take”. What utter nonsense, can you even imagine that sentence being said in 2019?! Our rights have been striped back, you have to jump through hoops to get even abroad. All for it to change at the very last minute when it’s the only thing you have had to look forward to.

I would wait until next week regarding the food shop and hopefully things will be more clear.

Fingers crossed you get away!

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SlapBet · 06/12/2021 16:38

I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t for the exemptions for celebrities, politicians and royals! Never felt so much under heel as I have in the last 2 years. One rule for us indeed!

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sunflowerroses · 06/12/2021 16:40

I feel for you OP and feeling more and more like it myself. Had a cancer op cancelled twice (still waiting so lots of isolating being done which means no seeing people), children's carol services and nativities cancelled because of cases in their classes (not them) and now feel it's totally inevitable they'll get it just in time to need all nice Christmas plans spoiled. They're only young a short while and missing out on so much. Feeling worst I've felt for the whole pandemic at the moment.

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HeartsAndClubs · 06/12/2021 16:43

I do wonder wether this pandemic will make people think twice about e.g. accepting jobs abroad.

So often people post their dilemmas asking whether to move to x or y country, and people are so quick to say “well, you can always visit/they can visit you,” but now we see first-hand that that isn’t necessarily true.

I think it’s shit for people to be abroad and away from family at the moment, but I do also think that in future those who might want to consider moving abroad need to be realistic about the possibility that if they do they might not see family for years during which time their children will grow up and have a limited relationship with them.

I grew up abroad at a time where people really didn’t travel home regularly, it just wasn’t the done thing, and we didn’t come back for 10 years. Now I have a whole load of extended family, cousins, aunts, uncles etc who I have 0 relationship with, because I just didn’t grow up with them in my life. They’re family in name now only, and I think that is a reality people need to consider when they’re also thinking of moving abroad in the future.

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Beautiful3 · 06/12/2021 16:48

Agree with you about getting your Xmas food. I have all of mine, frozen and stored away in the garage. I did it for peace of mind.

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FrankGrillosWrist · 06/12/2021 16:50

I hope you get to go OP. The very thought of tests & form filling put me off, but it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. It was worth it, & at least I know what to expect next time. We all need something to look forward to.

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FoxgloveSummers · 06/12/2021 16:52

I've seen people be the same with weddings, so many mean spirited things said about why people would ever have had the sheer cheek to plan a gathering for their beloved family and friends to celebrate their marriage. If you don't want to sneak in the fire exit of the registry office and get a kebab on the way home you deserve all the stress you get when a pandemic blows up out of nowhere.

TBH I'm wondering if it's just a MN thing as people do seem to be more sympathetic in real life!

OP, I hope you're feeling ok - sometimes you just have to hold on and enjoy the things you know you can enjoy today and try not to think about it all too much. Shit, I know.

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megustalacerveza · 06/12/2021 16:52

@HeartsAndClubs

I do wonder wether this pandemic will make people think twice about e.g. accepting jobs abroad.

So often people post their dilemmas asking whether to move to x or y country, and people are so quick to say “well, you can always visit/they can visit you,” but now we see first-hand that that isn’t necessarily true.

I think it’s shit for people to be abroad and away from family at the moment, but I do also think that in future those who might want to consider moving abroad need to be realistic about the possibility that if they do they might not see family for years during which time their children will grow up and have a limited relationship with them.

I grew up abroad at a time where people really didn’t travel home regularly, it just wasn’t the done thing, and we didn’t come back for 10 years. Now I have a whole load of extended family, cousins, aunts, uncles etc who I have 0 relationship with, because I just didn’t grow up with them in my life. They’re family in name now only, and I think that is a reality people need to consider when they’re also thinking of moving abroad in the future.

You do realise plenty of us have parents or families from different countries? It's often not as simple as being 100% British and choosing to move to Australia. My parents are from two different countries, neither one Britain, and both live abroad now. I grew up in two countries other than the UK so many of my oldest friends are abroad. I have three nationalities. So where is 'home'? If I go to my mum's country, I don't have my dad, or my grandparents, or any friends. If I go to the country I mostly grew up in, I don't have any family.

It's not that simple. We live in a very globalised world and lots of people have multiple nationalities and multiple countries with close family ties.
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Talith · 06/12/2021 16:56

I'm not sure I understand why you'd do a christmas shop on the day before you would be travelling - if you are not able to travel at all you can shop later than that for christmas bits - or do you mean so you have some food in if you have to come home earlier due to changes in the regs?

Having some provisions in the freezer in general isn't a bad idea but unless you end up coming back on Christmas Day itself you can pick up most provisions on Christmas Eve. Even If you come back on Christmas Day you're unlikely to have the time or perhaps inclination to cook up a christmas feast after long haul travel so I think in that situation you'd make do with something a bit different and plan a feast for another time.

Mary and Joseph had no idea where they would end up in Bethlehem and they'd banked on an inn not a stable and so if nothing else waiting for the unknown is very much part of the Christmas story. Which I appreciate is of no help whatsoever! It just came to mind. Grin I'm a planner too so I do feel your pain.

Hoping you get to see your family without any surprises OP Flowers

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hennybeans · 06/12/2021 16:58

We're going to the States next week to see family. It's been almost 3 years since I've seen my mum. She won't even recognise my DC who are now full blown teenagers.
Every time I look, the rules have changed. The tests for 5 of us are going to cost hundreds more.
Covid is rife in my DC's schools. My dd literally came home an hour ago and said the girl she sits next to in most lessons got covid on Friday. DS's small primary class had three test positive last week.

So there's every chance we will get to the airport and one will test positive and we can't go. The US rules say test must be one day before travel so we are testing at airport right before flight. It might all be in vain. I can't even imagine having to drive the 6 hours back from Heathrow with packed suitcases and Christmas presents for family and not being able to travel. It's so stressful.

We booked this trip a full year ago after having an Easter 2020 trip cancelled. We thought by now we would surely all be vaccinated. I can't believe we're still rights in the thick of everything. And it's not like all these travel rules are giving us peace of mind because my DC are still not vaccinated/ fully vaccinated and the virus is all over their schools. So I still live with day to day uncertainty of them catching it. I've had enough too, op.

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HeartsAndClubs · 06/12/2021 16:59

@ megustalacerveza where did I say it was that simple? I was talking about future plans for people to move to other countries, and the reality is that this could create a whole new dynamic where international relationships will be considered because of the possibilities they throw up for one or the other being cut off from family.

Of course it stands to reason that people who are already in the situation aren’t going to necessarily be able to change things, and there will forever be expats, but equally there will likely be people who definitely think twice about whether that job or potential relationship might mean not being able to see their family for years without notice.

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Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 17:05

@hennybeans yep, I think that's it. Always being optimistic thinking it will all improve once vaccinated but no. It's hardly made any difference. So we can never risk seeing our family again because there will always be the threat of a new varient?! My mind cant cope with just the unknown now.

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BogRollBOGOF · 06/12/2021 17:11

YANBU

Our experience was in May, booking to travel to DH's family at a point when everything looked rosy for the summer... then Delta happened... It became unviable to travel, BiL cancelled his plans, we held fast and hoped. 10 days before we went, it became viable again. But the reality was like visting June 2020 in terms of destination restrictions, siblings wouldn't let our evil unvaccinated disease vector children in their houses (despite the fact that we semi-isolated for 10 days before to minimise disrupting the trip so were less likely to be carrying something than the virtuously vaccinated teenage cousins) so there was a lot of hanging around in damp, cold gardens, and the children couldn't see granny anyway because she was in a care place and only DH could see her for 2x 30 mins.

We're not attempting to return as a family over the winter because it was complicated and unsatisfying enough in the summer, and granny is so vulnerable that any infection has significant scope for major harm. So assuming she survives the winter, it will be close to 3 years since the children got to see her.

It sucks.
Especially when the first year of this was largely made out to be about "saving granny" and I can't confidently state to my children that they will ever see their's again after so long.

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HesterShaw1 · 06/12/2021 17:15

It's so constantly sad and disappointing. DP's parents are in Bavaria and he hasn't seen them in very nearly two years. His Gran died in the summer - couldn't go to the funeral. His parents are in their 70s and his dad is having heart issues - DP so scared he'll die and he won't have seen him. Every time he's planned to go, something stops it.

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Lindy2 · 06/12/2021 17:18

I think 2 years of underlying stress about Covid has brought a lot of people to breaking point to be honest. I think the current Omicron issues are harder to take as a lot of us actually thought we were on the way out of the pandemic but now we're right back in there.

We've no travel plans but we have booked some nice Christmas themed days out. It's all up in the air as we're now waiting on a PCR test result for DD.

I miss just being able to look forward to doing things.

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Pugdogmom · 06/12/2021 17:22

I have been abroad twice in the last 3 months. It was a faff organising tests etc, and filling out PLFs, but we got there, and had to change routes etc, sadly price you pay for travelling lately.
I have the utmost sympathy though for people who want to see family who are long haul though. And it is more expensive because you are forced into buying flexible tickets.

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Titsywoo · 06/12/2021 17:23

Honestly the last couple of years have seen me go from a quite uptight perfectionist to someone pretty laid back. Admittedly I don't have to stress about holidays now although we did have that earlier this year after moving a holiday from 2020 and we gave up in the end and lost our deposit. I'm not worried about xmas - if we end up eating beans on toast who really cares? We'll be safe and warm in our own house which is more than a lot of people on this planet can say. My advice is relax - what will be will be!

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MrsBerthaRochester · 06/12/2021 17:24

Be prepared for this to be the norm for the next few years unless people are prepared to say enough is enough. The vulnerable,anxious and germophobes stay at home and the rest of us take our chances.
I hope you are able to see your family op.

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AlphabetAerobics · 06/12/2021 17:36

Given you have dropped £10k+ On a family holiday to the Far East at Christmas- I suspect your “dreadful nothing to look forward to for 2 years” has potentially been easier than the last 2 years for many.

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Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 17:40

Are you actually kidding me @AlphabetAerobics??????

Have paid less than half of that! £10k bore off you bitter weirdo.

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Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 17:42

And for the record @AlphabetAerobics I lost my grandad this year, I have broke my leg during, worked 6days a week since march 2020 in a hospital so no I've had a shit time

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Nidan2Sandan · 06/12/2021 17:44

@AlphabetAerobics

Given you have dropped £10k+ On a family holiday to the Far East at Christmas- I suspect your “dreadful nothing to look forward to for 2 years” has potentially been easier than the last 2 years for many.

FFS, for the illiterate among us who clearly find reading comprehension a challenge

the op is going to visit family she hasnt seen in 2 years, not go on a fucking holiday!!

And even if it was a holiday, these are things we should be able to do!!
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