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To be completely and utterly drained from all this uncertainty?
151

Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 13:26

Supposed to be abroad from the 18th Dec to 5th Jan in the far East but I'm dreading it. 4 pcrs each to do. Travel rules constantly changing. My anxiety is through the roof

I'm going to do an Xmas food shop on the 17th I'm case it all goes tits up. I hate all this not knowing I genuinely don't think I can take another year.

I know we should "suck it up" but never having anything to even focus on or look forward to is just utter and pure misery. Life is for living and I'm sick to death of constant bad news about covid etc

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

CaliforniaDrumming · 06/12/2021 15:23

@sunshinelover69

I wouldn't make any travel plans for the foreseeable future, certainly not to travel abroad over the next few years - if you do, they may not come to fruition."

Why the hell shouldn't we be able to make travel plans?! I have two holidays booked for 2022 and I fully intend to get away if I can. God it's a miserable life if you can't have holidays to look forward to.

If UK universities had to do without international students because they all stayed home and made no travel plans, they would collapse. Economies depend on global travel.
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Rosiiiiie · 06/12/2021 15:24

Definitely ok to be anxious about Xmas plans. I’m the same. We have family coming from 3 different countries and I haven’t even told DS yet in case there’s a last minute change of plans.
Makes all the Xmas shopping and meal planning a bit stressful!

Fingers crossed we both get to spend the festive season with family 😊

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Whitefire · 06/12/2021 15:25

needaholiday And the post following yours beautifully demonstrated your point. My family are only in the UK but even that seems fraught enough. Luckily a colleague was able to drop everything and go when travel restrictions eased recently, not everyone has that option available to them.

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thisplaceisweird · 06/12/2021 15:28

Totally get you OP, it's exactly what I'm feeling. I know I'm extremely lucky, but it's still shit to not be able to have anything to look forward to.

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bert3400 · 06/12/2021 15:30

I completely agree and understand, we are due to fly to Scotland for Christmas (we live abroad) and we've spent a lot on flights and accommodation for 10 days. All my family are coming up from the south of England to meet us there. I just can't get excited because I'm so worried something else will be sprung on us before the 23rd Dec. Last Christmas was so disappointing I just really want to go all out this year

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Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 15:31

As I said, you can still have a lovely life but when you are working with no rewards in life it's dire. So dire and after almost 2years of the hamster wheel....people are ready to get off!

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PinkAndPurpleClouds · 06/12/2021 15:35

YANBU to be pissed off about it all, but no WAY would I have booked a holiday abroad this year. Nor next. It's the risk you take I'm afraid, as Covid has never gone; it's still here. So YABU to complain IMO.

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Justgorgeous · 06/12/2021 15:38

Oh my god, people love to wallow in despair and negativity! Make sure you don’t waste one ounce of food OP, in fact don’t order anything, just starve !! Bless you, it’s hard but I hope you get to go away and enjoy.

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SoftPillow · 06/12/2021 15:44

I'm with you OP.

We can't plan, can't pack, can't order food in the UK in case we don't need it, can't talk about the travel to the kids so they don't get disappointed again, can't accept work meetings as I don't know if I'll be here, don't even have childcare if we can't go.

Don't know if we'll get there. Don't know if we'll get stuck there. Don't know if we will end up in quarantine and miss Xmas.

My stomach is a constant knot of bubbles.

I've got two mental lists, 'things to do if we go' and 'things to do if we don't go' and everything on either list needs to be done in the same 24hr window. Agghh

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Borisjohnsonshairbrush · 06/12/2021 15:49

@SoftPillow we are flying with Emirates so I hope we have a voucher or refund should we become a red country as there is no point going if we have to quarantine for 10/ 14 days.

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megustalacerveza · 06/12/2021 15:54

@IsThePopeCatholic

I know what you mean, op, but ‘first world problems’ is what jumps out from your post.

Ridiculous. 'First world problems' to want some level of stability and be able to plan something as simple as Christmas without the fear of it all going tits up? Pretty sure no human being does well with this level of uncertainty and constant change. Not being able to look forward to anything, ever, takes a huge psychological toll.

We've given up two years of our lives for this already - where does it end? I know people who are literally suicidal. They would rather just die than live like this for months more, unable to visit loved ones abroad or make any plans for anything fun.
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RobertaFirmino · 06/12/2021 15:56

A first world problem this may well be but I think most people have had a point over the pandemic where they've felt lower than whale crap at the bottom of the ocean. Most of us have also felt as miserable as sin over something that might seem inconsequential to others. Today, it is OP's turn.

I'm sorry to read that you're feeling so bad @Borisjohnsonshairbrush and I wish I had some helpful advice for you. All the 'You shouldn't have...' in the world won't make a blind bit of difference and neither will a million 'Be thankful for what you've got' platitudes.

The best thing I can say is that it is the Shortest Day on Tuesday 21st. There are only 15 more days to get through before little by little, the days will slowly get warmer and lighter. We are nearly at the bottom of the dip in that respect.

I really hope you do get to go away and that you enjoy every minute of it.

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Luminousnose · 06/12/2021 16:00

It is hard op. In September we went to DH’s home country (Southern Europe) to see his family for the first time in over 2 years. It was very stressful trying to make sure we had all the tests booked (3 of us - 3 different types of test each) plus passenger locator forms for both destinations. BUT in fact the worry and stress was far worse than the actuality of going. It was definitely a faff, but in the end it was fine and well worth the hassle in order to see family. I did it all again a couple of months later for my DH and it was much easier second time around.

I think a lot of people are very unsympathetic to those with family abroad. My DD’S boyfriend is at Uni in Europe and hasn’t seen his mum and younger sibling, for two and a half years - they’re not from the UK. He was 18 when this all started and alone in a country 7,000 miles from home. He’s come over to us when possible in the holidays and DD has been to see him too. They’ve both done A LOT of self-isolating, but where there’s a will, there’s a way - particularly for young love!

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Spudlet · 06/12/2021 16:02

YANBU. It’s exhausting, not being able to make plans with any sort of confidence. It’s also exhausting reading some of the snippy replies on here… although I suspect it’s even more exhausting being such a miserable sod tbh.

I hope you make it away Flowers

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immersivereader · 06/12/2021 16:04

Same here. Was supposed to go back to the UK this Christmas, we are not because DC's aren't vaccinated and would have to isolate upon return, but now with all this Omricon pcr tests I'm just glad we're staying home!

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immersivereader · 06/12/2021 16:04

I think a lot of people are very unsympathetic to those with family abroad. My DD’S boyfriend is at Uni in Europe and hasn’t seen his mum and younger sibling, for two and a half years - they’re not from the UK

^

Same here. Haven't seen family for two and a half years. Tough, specially as the kids are tiny and changing so quickly.

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AmIgoinghomeforXmas · 06/12/2021 16:05

I've changed my user name to reflect my current thoughts.
I spent this morning booking new tests to return back to the USA after visiting the UK because those restrictions have just changed.
It is eye wateringly expensive, complicated and subject to random changes with no notice.

It is as stressful as heck.

But none of us have seen family for 2.5 years and my dc are growing up fast as are their cousins.

Yes it is a first world problem but I live in the first world. Wanting family contact is perfectly normal.

I hope it goes smoothly for you OP.

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FoxgloveSummers · 06/12/2021 16:13

I think some people just think others shouldn’t migrate or study abroad and should stay in the immediate vicinity of family. If they think that then not being able to see them “serves you right.”

The irony of calling it a first world problem is that many people from more deprived parts of the world travel and live far from family and unless they have really good jobs this circumstance is making even occasional travel home unaffordable. Many other people travel or live abroad in order to improve lives elsewhere (doctors working abroad for example) and they are also caught in this.

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Whitefire · 06/12/2021 16:15

@PinkAndPurpleClouds

YANBU to be pissed off about it all, but no WAY would I have booked a holiday abroad this year. Nor next. It's the risk you take I'm afraid, as Covid has never gone; it's still here. So YABU to complain IMO.

The OP hasn't booked a holiday, they have booked to go and see family. I never go abroad, I won't fly, but gracious me it doesn't take much imagination to grasp how the OP is feeling.
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Glassofshloer · 06/12/2021 16:18

Christmas, birthdays, special events etc.. I mean that is ‘life’, isn’t it? Given the rest is work/chores/sleep? So we have every right to complain about missing holidays etc. I find this competitive Puritanism about who can be happiest with the least, or the most grateful to be alive, quite a sad reflection on our self worth. It also makes poor treatment of the public by the government more acceptable by lowering our standards.

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JuicySatsuma85 · 06/12/2021 16:20

Maybe I don’t really get this because I’m in Scotland and the mask mandate never lifted here but…

”Never having anything to look forward to”???

“Needing something like seeing family or friends for dinner or a weekend away”??

“All work, no play”.

You don’t think this is massively dramatic at all? Lockdown restrictions started ending in March with restaurants and non essential shops opening. That was 9 months ago. You haven’t had a meal with friends or family or organised a weekend away in that time? You could arrange to meet a friend for a meal tomorrow if you want to. You could take your kids to Centre Parcs this weekend if you like.

It’s incredibly over the top to say you have nothing to look forward to. You’ve had 9 months to socialise more or less as normal. I understand the end of the year is a bit up in the air at the moment but a trip to the Far East was always going to be risky and it doesn’t mean your life is over and you can’t look forward to ANYTHING now and haven’t been able to for 2 YEARS. That’s just not true.

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Florianus · 06/12/2021 16:21

@FoxgloveSummers

I wouldn't make any travel plans for the foreseeable future, certainly not to travel abroad over the next few years - if you do, they may not come to fruition."

Obviously that's viable if it's just for a holiday etc but I do wonder whether people who give out advice like this fail to realise they're saying to some "I'd just plan not to see your beloved parent/grandparent for the rest of their life". Most people aren't going to want to do that for the sake of avoiding stress, rather than because it's absolutely impossible etc.

The sad truth is that global warming will soon mean that those of us with family abroad (and I am one) will only rarely be able to travel as air fares will have to rocket in order to cut emissions. The alternative will be much worse than Covid, I fear.
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CaliforniaDrumming · 06/12/2021 16:21

@FoxgloveSummers

I think some people just think others shouldn’t migrate or study abroad and should stay in the immediate vicinity of family. If they think that then not being able to see them “serves you right.”

The irony of calling it a first world problem is that many people from more deprived parts of the world travel and live far from family and unless they have really good jobs this circumstance is making even occasional travel home unaffordable. Many other people travel or live abroad in order to improve lives elsewhere (doctors working abroad for example) and they are also caught in this.

A lot of MN posters think this, despite the UK being so multicultural. I have lost count of the number of times I have been told here that it is my fault for leaving my country/parent/family. The WHO didn't predict the pandemic, but we are supposed to!
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Werehamster · 06/12/2021 16:22

We're the opposite as we live abroad but desperately want to visit family in the UK. I really thought that we'd be in better shape with the vaccination programs going so well. The PCR tests alone will be almost an extra thousand pounds plus quarantine in a hotel for 5 days, so there is no way we are going. Here covid is no so bad but I think Omicron is going to explode in the UK over the next few weeks so I won't risk it.

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megustalacerveza · 06/12/2021 16:23

@Whitefire the total lack of empathy is so grim, isn't it? Fine for those who can walk down the road and see parents and loved ones. Not so nice for those facing a THIRD year of not being able to travel.

Yes, covid is a problem but also, life is bloody short. Every months that passes without being able to see my parents is time I will never get back. Birthdays, Christmas, weekend visits. It's pretty vile for people to consider being separated from loved ones a 'first world problem'.

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