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Original poster

To ask how to make my cold and sad home cosy?

182 replies

Cacticus12345 · 05/12/2021 13:01

I’ve been away for 3 weeks helping a relative and have returned home to a cold, dark rather miserable (and messy) house.

I live alone so don’t have the family warmth and activity I can see through people’s windows at this time of the year

What can I do to make myself feel better and feel cosy at home?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 05/12/2021 21:54

I’d also echo fairy lights, I have them wrapped round the trunk of tall fake plants (Ie five and six foot) in dark corners, plus along the firemantel (I have ones in a chain of cream roses) that are used when I don’t have the Xmas garlands up. They give a very pretty amber glow.

Things like fairy lights, fleece throws, an oil diffuser are all very cheap to do, even soft side lights, you can buy it all cheaply off of Amazon, and it can really warm up a cold evening and make a room look lovely, cosy and inviting.

ssd · 05/12/2021 22:11

Hope you enjoyed your curry @Cacticus12345

Porcupineintherough · 05/12/2021 22:23

Embrace the Danish concept of hygge. We "hygged" our cold and cheerless front room last year - new cupboard to hide clobber, oil heater (it's always freezing), then throw blankets, new cushions, fairy lights, salt lamp and candles. It really has helped.

Porcupineintherough · 05/12/2021 22:24

Oh and I did it all off Facebook marketplace so was really economical, just took a bit of time.

furbabymama87 · 05/12/2021 22:26

Salt lamps, fairy lights, animals.

tara66 · 05/12/2021 22:26

Install a music playing system for your whole house and have back ground music you enjoy playing when you come home - luxury. Back ground music all the time!

JustSinginInTheRain · 05/12/2021 22:32

I put fairy light on the top of cabinets and have a pink side lamp which creates a wonderful warm glow.

Plan one treat a day and save up for a beautiful throw / blanket and rug.

My heated blanket / throw is very cosy and cheap to run.

Notcontent · 05/12/2021 23:09

@Cacticus12345

Thank you for your lovely suggestions. It’s true, I am feeling lonely and quite sad but realise I need to help myself. Your comments really helped

I’ve been out, bought a candle, I have a big pot on the stove cooking a spicy curry and I’m going to get the Christmas decorations down from the loft.

Hope you all have a lovely Sunday night x

I am glad you got out OP. I can relate to your feelings. I don’t live alone - I have one child - but when she was little I often had that gloomy, sad feeling - made worse in winter. While I don’t usually advocate retail therapy, I do think buying something like a candle or anything for the house, can make you feel better. Keeping busy helps too!
1p2p5p · 06/12/2021 17:05

Has anyone suggested flannelette sheets and pillowcases? I have a white set, so they don't clash with the existing bedroom decor.

They are really warm, and cheap enough at Dunelm etc. And you can use your existing duvet cover, throws and cushions to make your bed so cosy.

Great thread.

TurquoiseDragon · 06/12/2021 17:33

As well as DD's duvet, I have blankets for myself and I have draped one across my chair to keep my back warm as well as one for wrapping on top of me.

I like burning incense, love the scents in the house.

I'm also making wall hangings to cheer the place up (I like a hippy vibe).

Bluntness100 · 06/12/2021 17:49

@tara66

Install a music playing system for your whole house and have back ground music you enjoy playing when you come home - luxury. Back ground music all the time!
Not really a luxury of you don’t want, just by echo dots and connect them,I’ve six and can play music throughout the house whenever I please.
LaughingLobster · 06/12/2021 17:58

Every suggestion is great here! Get yourself on Pinterest for colour and inspiration with a nice warm drink in your hand and a great radio station on with lots of laughter, chat and fun music.

Good luck and enjoy the process x

Ddot · 06/12/2021 18:06

Some nice throws, wool tarten ones are nice. Oxfam sell some inexpensive ones but need backing with something cozy. Pictures and cushions. Nice rug, Job done. Then get a tree and a nutcracker statue, lovely.

Ddot · 06/12/2021 18:11

Do u have the room and the time for a pet. I'd be lost without my cat. She's there for me to come hone to.

GromblesofGrimbledon · 06/12/2021 18:17

I love to keep my home feeling cosy. For me it's soft lighting and beeswax candles that make the most difference visually. Even a slightly messy home looks nicer when in soft, warm lighting. I have a dimmable globe-shaped salt rock lamp that's a particular favourite. It gives off a lovely pink glow.

Our little Christmas tree will be going up soon and we also hang colourful fairy lights around the mantelpiece. Those will stay up through January when the rest of the Christmas decorations have been put away. We have a wood burning stove that certainly keeps things cosy.

On top of this I like heavy blackout curtains and blankets handy on the couch. Our couch is a sofa bed and we pull it out and get really settled in for movies on a large pull down projector. I think the cosiest homes don't have perfect decor. It's nice for things to be a bit mismatched. And it's nice if furniture isn't pristine either.

I like the smell of something nice cooking in the slow cooker, a big pot of soup on the stove or baking cookies in the oven. That makes a home feel cosy. In the bedroom I have a diffuser with lavender.

Keep your home fairly tidy and surround yourself with the things that make you feel cosy. Then to really maximise the feeling, make sure you get out in the bracing fresh air for a walk in the evening and get in just as the dark sets in. That feeling of coming home to a clean, warm, softly lit house- I love it! And if you've had the slow cooker on while you've been out you then dinner is waiting for you. One of my favourite things to do in autumn as the weather cools is to go bramble picking and then come home to make a crumble with them. At this time of year make Christmas biscuits!

But the cosiest thing of all in a home? Cats. Cats make a house a home and there's nothing cosier than a cat sitting with you, softly purring on a cold winters evening.

Ah I feel all aglow now Xmas Smile

LunaTheCat · 06/12/2021 18:30

This is such a lovely thread! OP I hope you feel some love (and inspiration!)
We can easily believe the world which is curated for us on social media - everyone’s family is lovely and everyone’s home is perfect.
In the last few weeks I have decided to only speak nice things to myself - you know that internal monologue in which you tell yourself you could have done better, should have done more - well I shut it out and spoke to myself nicely - it sounds daft but has made a huge difference!

GromblesofGrimbledon · 06/12/2021 18:36

Oh! And nice quiet tunes in the background. My particular favourite to have tinkling away while I potter about doing whatever I'm doing is this lo-fi channel

https://youtube.com/c/LofiGirl

pollymere · 06/12/2021 18:44

Rugs. And fleece blankets on your sofa. I also like knitted and crocheted blankets.

douliket · 06/12/2021 18:57

All about the lighting..no big over head lights. Never have them on. Any Christmas fairy lights must be warm white, no blues. Blue lights will always bring coolness to a room. Don't go with "bright white" Xmas lights either, they are too cooling also. They must be "warm white".
Coziness is all about lighting and a nice candle too.

Isaidnomorecrisps · 06/12/2021 19:03

All we’ve done so far is buy a tub of quality street and light a no 3 pomegranate large candle from Aldi (about £4) and it’s felt so Christmassy. You can start small - hug from me.

ineedaholidayandwine · 06/12/2021 19:04

In winter i always have big soft cushions and a fluffy blanket on the sofa, fairy lights in vases and lamps. Makes everything so much softer and warmer.

notoldjustpastyoung · 06/12/2021 19:09

Start putting some twinkly Xmas decs up. I live alone but would never dream of not decorating. Visitors come and it looks silly not doing it. Get in some favourite nibbles and a bottle or two of your favourite tipple.
Invite a couplr of neighbours in even if you don't know them very well and have hot mince pies and strong mulled wine. Its got to reflect, it's no good letting the world pass by. Have some fun. Enjoy

Peppaismyrolemodel · 06/12/2021 19:14

@Cacticus12345

Thank you, I’m in bed, struggling to get up at the moment, wasting the day which is not making me feel good :((
Sad That’s such a glum feeling- you aren’t alone, I arrange something the night before that I want for breakfast (pizza? Ice cream? A very nice chocolate bar?). And then take it with me into the shower. Sometimes you need a bit of bribery to get up and dressed in the morning- be gentle with yourself.
calvados · 06/12/2021 19:29

You sound lovely 🥰

PeacheyPeach · 06/12/2021 19:29

Layers really help your home feel cosy, so throws on your sofa and cushions, table lamps to soften the light,a nice rug, perhaps a coffee table with some books on it, and a nice plant and again a nice candle.
You can do it on the cheap if you are on a budget, charity shops are full of homeware items that can make your house a home.
It's horrible when your home feels lifeless, even putting the radio and having music on can make it feel more homely, x