To ask how to make my cold and sad home cosy?

[Cacticus12345]

I’ve been away for 3 weeks helping a relative and have returned home to a cold, dark rather miserable (and messy) house.

I live alone so don’t have the family warmth and activity I can see through people’s windows at this time of the year

What can I do to make myself feel better and feel cosy at home?

I agree with start small. Our house can get overwhelming but I often tackle it in sections eg. one side of the bed up until the window, then the next bit and so on. I would do that either with the bedroom or the room you spend most of your time in.

You sound lonely. It’s shit, and it feels shameful. But if it is this, then acknowledging it is a start. Maybe living alone isn’t right for you. Maybe you could team up with a relative or find a lodger, or move to a shared flat . Maybe a pet would help. I know I need another heartbeat in my house. Maybe you need some little landmarks to look forward to, maybe I meet someone for a coffee, join a walking group, invite someone round.
All the house advice is spot on. . If it’s overwhelming , choose one thing, like buying soft sheets and a new pillow and a lovely throw for your bed. Maybe new Pajamas. Make your favourite comfort food, mine is sausage and mash. Make it the best ever.Love yourself. And put some music on!

if you have clutter that you really cant do without pick up empty cardboard boxes of all different sizes from shops, cover with gift wrap and store your clutter in, cover the top with a charity shop scarf if you want to hide the contents.

Tidy and clean ONE room, move something around (a chair, a piece of art) to freshen it in your eyes, light a smelly candle and put on some music.

Lots of great suggestions already. I would:
Turn the heating up so the house was nice & toasty
Burn a nice candle if you have one
Look for any nice throws you have already & put them on the sofa or buy a nice soft fleece blanket (they are often quite cheap)
Pop lamps on rather than the usual lights
Make yourself a hot chocolate or pour yourself a nice drink
Listen to Nigel Slater’s The Christmas Chronicles podcast: podcast He describes the lead up to Christmas so beautifully and he makes you look forward to going out in the cold. He really puts you in a Christmasy mood.
I would also make a simple cake so that the house smells nice (maybe apple & cinnamon or orange flavouring)
Find a film to watch.

Hope you soon feel better OP.

Clean up, everything looks so much better when it's tidy. I've got plants in bottles, (from Lidl) they don't even need watering. Last week I got yellow roses & brightish orangey carnations for under a fiver from Tesco, they're cheap on a Monday as they're left over from the weekend. Get some brightly coloured cushions, & blankets to match. Mirrors will give you more light, & some lovely holiday pics or put something that fill you with elation. Buy a lamp, forget the candles they're a fire hazard & can cause heart & lung issues.

Being cold is a big downer for me!

I have come to realise that I need to wear a lot more clothes than other people would and at the moment my minimum is a base layer - merino wool (go for the most expensive you can afford - less scratchy) or thin fleece jumper, then a sweatshirt or hoodie, then a thick oversize fleece or jumper, thick leggings or sweatpants and thick socks or thin socks and slippers.

I also think I should get a remote control fan heater so that I could switch it on from bed and have a warm bedroom to get up to.

Definitely do small bursts of tidying with some sing along music, twinkly lights and candles do make it more cosy, even though it sounds naff and twee.

It is easy to think that everyone with families is having a wonderful time full of love and joy, but any number of threads on mumsnet will show you that family life can be utterly miserable.

Poundland for fairy lights with little battery packs. Pop these round windows, over shelves, drape on side tables. Pick up some scented candles and pop on fireplaces, side tables (go for festive scents). Turn overhead lights off and stick on fairy lights, candles and lamps instead. Netflix xmas films and a blanket on the sofa. Microwave a mug of mulled wine

B&m have some lovely cheap throws - I especially love their sherpa lined ones. I would put some fairy lights up around your living room even if you don't have a tree. If you don't have a tree and you want one tesco have some on offer.

I hope you feel better soon OP. I've been there and it's tough

To me, texture and colour are what makes a room cosy. Soft, varying fabrics on the sofa with willows and throws really help. I also can't be comfy in a white/grey/magnolia room, as it feels to sterile. I have lots of colours (purple sofa, grey throw, orange/brown/red rug, and colourful art on the walls. Our Christmas tree has multicoloured lights and a big variety of baubles and ornaments to feel homely. Almost everything is second-hand and fixed up/painted/stained to suit us.

Ideally, we'd have a fireplace and more lamps, but our house doesn't have a fireplace and a toddler with a desire to burn himself on lightbulbs means only overhead lighting for the time being.

Lighting. You want warm light bulbs not the cool white ones.

Wilko do a good range of that yellow/orange warm hues bulbs. I have these in my living room along with a daylight task light for when I need to do actual work. www.wilko.com/en-uk/tcp-1-pack-bayonet-b22bc-led-120-lumens-st64-clas-sic-vintage-light-bulb/p/0475383

Layering things up can add to the coziness. A blanket over the back of the sofa and an oversized cushion. Curtains, even ones that are just for show can add to it.
Textures too. If you have similar textures it can feel very bland and cold so putting something knitted with with something woven for example helps too.

Candles, the right smells too.

this is an odd one that can help. Throw open all your windows to freshen the air up then warm the house back up. I have to do this regularly as ventilation here is shocking and it’s easier than running a noisy dehumidifier but it feels great to have the fresh air then get it all warm again. Proper cozy and fresh iyswim.

I love the smell of something cooking in the slow cooker. It just seems so much less hassle that cooking that way too.

Turn the heating on.

Lit up some nice candle- I like Xmas pudding, or apple tart ones- they smell cozy.

Decorate the Xmas tree, add some fairy lights to the windows, get some nice wine and while decorating it put on some nice movie you like, doesn't need to be Xmas themed.

Snuggle on the sofa, have a cake and enjoy your time.

If you feel lonely, perhaps inviting friend would help?

If you can afford it, go to a big Asda or similar for candles and seasonal soft furnishings. A little tree or even just lights are nice too in a warm white colour. Have a tidy up with favourite music playing and some snack you love. A pick me up

Tea lights brighten things up. It's like having a room full of little stars. However they don't throw out so much light that you can see dust, it's just a pretty glow. They also give out a fair bit of heat so that's an extra bonus.

If your lease doesn't allow candles fairy lights make things pretty but won't throw off heat.

I've got a £3 bunch of stargazer lilies in my living room and they are so fresh and bright they are making this gloomy day a little happier.

Also get yourself a nice and warm fluffy slippers and fluffy throw- make a nice hot chocolate with marshmallows, order a pizza or whatever you fancy if you not feel like cooking.

I’ve just bought a velvet patchwork cover for my bed with some money given to me as a leaving present from my job. Admittedly it was expensive, but it has so brightened up my bedroom. I have also got a heated throw which is cosy and means the heating does not need to be on so high and I like fairy lights and lavender oil in a diffuser. No one likes housework, but I think a quick tidy up makes a place look cosier.

I think I’d concentrate on getting the lounge snug and cosy, a few decorations if you any, drape some throws over sofa, maybe put away somethings or move things around to make if feel different. Set a tray for a cosy coffee, or a sparkling drink, a bowl of nuts and crisps. Then find a film and snuggle down for today.

We have a few (fake) tiffany style lamps and they are so lovely, everyone comments on them. They add so much colour and warmth.

@Blossomsbloom

Agree with the above comment, soft lighting and candles. Lots of soft furnishings, cushions and throws. I have a rug in every room as we have the original floorboards and that immediately adds the cosy factor. I've just bought an electric wood burner and the fake fire effect is really cosy.

Even an inexpensive faux electric fire with just the light flickering will give the allusion of wamth.

Your home being clean and tidy is critical to feeling a space is nice to be in.

In each living space, a rug, warm throws, soft lighting and nice smelling candles will be a huge return on your investment.

In my home all curtains are full length, including across the front door.
Closing them instantly makes the house feel cosier.
Plants contribute to a house feeling more alive and cosier too.

Tidy up today and this evening with a glass of wine start perusing sites like TK Max for throws etc.

Pets! A house is not a home without them! A couple of house rabbits would give you real motivation to keep tidy too because, well, they'll destroy everything they come across!

I swear by these delicious St Eval candles on top of the radiators:

www.crocus.co.uk/product/_/st-eval-figgy-pudding-tealights/classid.2000031014/?affiliate=googleproductfeed&gclid=Cj0KCQiA47GNBhDrARIsAKfZ2rABftiu7Ysg28otY3Ln1NMyvdMWsSmumKwnS1gtaFOma5PlnPGOxyoaAgMjEALw_wcB

They just give off the loveliest scent and as you're just warming them, not burning them, it's not overpowering and they only need replacing once a year!

Soft furnishings like rugs/cushions/throws? I'm into supersoft fluffiness in a big way, and there's more and more of those textures around these days!

Wall lights or lamps are much softer than overhead lights, make things feel cosier and more welcoming.

Take your shoes off at the door. Maybe you already do but some people wear theirs throughout the house. Your home will feel much cleaner if you don't, and changing into slippers automatically feels 'cosier'.

Declutter anything you don't really love, and you'll have more room to display the things you do, which will make you feel subtlety happier all the time you're at home.

Yep, get the pets!

Huge yes to lighting - lots of side lamps with warm bulbs or shades, don't use the overhead lights. Soft furnishings in warm colours - banish grey and greige, blue and white only sparingly

@MooseBreath Ooo, I love your purple sofa! Can I have it please?

If money is tight, then getting things clean, de cluttered and tidy will make a big difference. Could you move your furniture around to give you more space?

If money is ok, then lamps (with a soft glow, not that harsh, bright white light), plenty of heat, maybe a candle, comfy slippers, a rug, cushions and a throw, some books and some plants. Next time you decorate, look at your colours.

If you can get in the right headspace, declutter the house. One room at a time. Sometimes the feeling of more space and less 'stuff' can instantly make you feel better.
Good lighting, lamps, fairy lights, plants, rugs, cushions, candles all add to the feeling of a cosy home and warmth.