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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

… to think that the postman should take his earphones out when delivering the mail?

180 replies

Thunderpat · 02/12/2021 12:56

My postman wears earphones when he is delivering the mail. This is annoying, but is it actually something that he shouldn’t do?

I have a newborn and live in a tall skinny house which means that I am usually doing something with the baby at the top of the house when he rings. I try calling to him out of the window (he can’t hear me) or grabbing baby and running down three flights of stairs, but by the time I get to the door he is well on his way up the road with his earphones in and a cheery spring in his step.

AIBU to think that he should take his earphones out when delivering the mail?

OP posts:
Sofiegiraffe · 02/12/2021 16:11

@theleafandnotthetree

I know it's not the point of the thread at all but the level of materialism implied in the amount of stuff you are having delivered - if this 'situation' Hmm is annoying enough to start a thread about - also gives me the vibe that you are kind of spoiled and entitled

Materialism? Judgemental much! How do you know what OP is getting delivered?! When I had a newborn it was so much easier to get essentials like wipes and nappy bags, cotton wool etc delivered as I was struggling to make it out of the house most days for to postnatal poor health. Having numerous things delivered to your home doesn't necessarily equate to "materialistic" - many people find this easier these days for their own reasons.

Sofiegiraffe · 02/12/2021 16:13

@ClawedButler

Of course YABU, but if you have a newborn this sort of thing does cross your mind while you're in that bizarre haze. We've all thought daft things those first few hormone-addled-sleep-deprived months. I remember being genuinely surprised that people didn't stop me in the street to exclaim over the other-worldly beauty of my baby.

Course I look at photos of her now and realise she actually looked like a shaved guinea pig in a dress, but at the time it seemed perfectly logical!

This made me laugh - but you make a very good point, too! The immediate haze of the postnatal period isn't exactly many people's clearest and most rational time! Well it certainly wasn't for me. OP is getting an unnecessarily hard time imo.

SenseSpeaker · 02/12/2021 16:16

You are, yes.

Very strange behaviour to get annoyed by something as small as this.

MythicalBiologicalFennel · 02/12/2021 16:17

My postman used to do that.

Wouldn't deliver parcels, he came with the "you weren't home" notices already filled in.

Once I was at home, saw him coming through the front garden path and push the notice through the letterbox. He didn't ring the bell and didn't stop. He was two meters away from me (window glass between us) but he never looked up. He carried on his merry way. I opened the door and called him - no reply. I had to chase him down the street shouting and eventually he saw me (saw me not heard me) and we walked together to his van where he gave me my parcel. He was most put out. Not good enough and yanbu op.

willithappen · 02/12/2021 16:17

YABU
Put a sign on the door

Cocoabutterkim · 02/12/2021 16:17

Another one that wants to know why you can’t put the baby down?

KevinTheKoala · 02/12/2021 16:18

As someone else mentioned what would you do if the postman was deaf?

DismantledKing · 02/12/2021 16:18

@Thunderpat

Where I used to live, the postman heard my elderly neighbour calling out when she had fallen down the stairs - she wouldn’t have stood much chance with this guy, though.
That’s not the responsibility of the Royal Mail, and doesn’t impact on his right to wear earphones. His job is to deliver the mail.
SleighbellsZ · 02/12/2021 16:27

He isn't delivering the post as he doesn't listen or wait for a response so he is doing a bad job

He's attempted, she can't get downstairs.
That's not his problem.

papayaorange · 02/12/2021 16:30

I envy you if this is all you have to complain about. With all the horrible things going on in the world, the postman could wear flippers and a space suit and I would not be bothered.

thedefinitionofmadness · 02/12/2021 16:31

Note on the door and a plantpot to put things under.

PerfectlyUnsuitable · 02/12/2021 16:36

@CorrBlimeyGG

the postman heard my elderly neighbour calling out when she had fallen down the stairs - she wouldn’t have stood much chance with this guy, though.

That was fortune, but absolutely not the postman's responsibility.

Actually the system is relying a lot of postmen doing exactly that sort of things. Also noticing that there is a lot of Mail that hasn’t been touched etc…

They are the ones who raise alarm in a regular basis.

PerfectlyUnsuitable · 02/12/2021 16:38

@SleighbellsZ

He isn't delivering the post as he doesn't listen or wait for a response so he is doing a bad job

He's attempted, she can't get downstairs.
That's not his problem.

Depending how long he has been waiting and whether he has made an effort to listen if someone is in.

My postwoman will often call at the gate if we haven’t answered but they can hear we are in the garden for example. I thought that was pretty common??

RestingMurderousFace · 02/12/2021 16:39

Interesting replies. Surprised how many people think YABU.

BIWI · 02/12/2021 17:03

Interesting only thread. Not surprised how many people have been prodded into frothing.

BoredZelda · 02/12/2021 17:09

As for the PP who stated that her DH is always on the phone while delivering mail, would you be ok with anybody else providing a service being on the phone?

If I’m not interacting with them, no, it wouldn’t bother me.

stillmorerubbish · 02/12/2021 17:11

Postmen are under a lot of stress with targets and times. Its actually quite a high pressure job that way.

Headphones help him enjoy his job which doesn't actually otherwise have any interaction with anyone.

godmum56 · 02/12/2021 17:13

@Justmuddlingalong

It's not his problem that you have a newborn, live in a 3 storey house and are often at the top of it when he's trying to deliver post. He's got a job to do and his round would take twice as long if he had to wait for people to accept parcels I presume they've ordered and are expecting.
put a note on the door explaining about the uopstairs thing and ask him to leave stuff at the door if he can. I did this when I pinged my ankle and it took me ages to even stand up let alone walk to the door
dustandfluf · 02/12/2021 17:24

Correction to my last post. Average number of houses to deliver to is 700 a day. 700 houses and the post man waits 10 minutes at every house incase you're upstairs a with the baby. You work out how long it would take to finish their rounds...

CallMeNutribullet · 02/12/2021 17:34

How dare a guy pounding the pavement for hours per day delivering post at Christmas in the middle of a pandemic (our local Royal Mail service is crippled due to covid right now) listen to some music while he's freezing his balls off? Doesn't he know op has a BABY?

ChrissyPlummer · 02/12/2021 17:42

Christ. What’s with all the posts slagging delivery people off? Yesterday, someone complaining about 2nd hand smoke on parcels, today postmen must always be alert to listen for elderly people falling and people in tall houses with newborns.

What’s tomorrow’s complaint? Hermes guy leaving his van running while dropping a parcel? The paper boy jumping the fence? Milkman clanking the bottles and disturbing the dog?

That said, a postman who lived across from my dads shop told my dad that they’d been told by management not to talk to each other when sharing a van at work 🙄.

notacooldad · 02/12/2021 17:46

As for the PP who stated that her DH is always on the phone while delivering mail, would you be ok with anybody else providing a service being on the phone?
Why would I care if a postman was on the phone. It is of no consequence to me.🤷‍♀️

PrivateHall · 02/12/2021 17:49

@regthetabbycat

Our postman is deaf. Should he not be employed, OP?
He definitely shouldn't be, after all, listening out for elderly ladies who have fallen is part of their job role apparently!

OP, of course YABU, it would be lovely if you could show a bit of gratitude towards your hard working postie.

Thehermitspermit · 02/12/2021 19:29

@notacooldad

As for the PP who stated that her DH is always on the phone while delivering mail, would you be ok with anybody else providing a service being on the phone? Why would I care if a postman was on the phone. It is of no consequence to me.🤷‍♀️
If it was regarding my post I didn't say he was on his phone all the time. He has headphones in constantly incase one of 4 disabled adults he cares for needs to contact him.

Yes he is on the phone often, most clients don't interact anyway, if someone does answer the door he excuses himself with a one second X as he hears them coming and pauses the conversation

You will also notice I said he will happily converse with elderly or vulnerable clients for some time despite being told of for this. You know they have time limits for deliveries, and their vans are on trackers, every move of theirs is accounted for - spend more than the allotted time walking down a street to do the deliveries? You get pulled up for that and asked why your can was on X street for 20 minutes instead of 15

Offmyfence · 02/12/2021 19:31

@Thunderpat

Where I used to live, the postman heard my elderly neighbour calling out when she had fallen down the stairs - she wouldn’t have stood much chance with this guy, though.
That's great but it's not normal Occitan right is it? They're not postman Pat with a drama everyday.
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