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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

… to think that the postman should take his earphones out when delivering the mail?

180 replies

Thunderpat · 02/12/2021 12:56

My postman wears earphones when he is delivering the mail. This is annoying, but is it actually something that he shouldn’t do?

I have a newborn and live in a tall skinny house which means that I am usually doing something with the baby at the top of the house when he rings. I try calling to him out of the window (he can’t hear me) or grabbing baby and running down three flights of stairs, but by the time I get to the door he is well on his way up the road with his earphones in and a cheery spring in his step.

AIBU to think that he should take his earphones out when delivering the mail?

OP posts:

RedskyThisNight · 02/12/2021 13:29

I would like to explain my situation to the postma, but I can’t seem to catch him

Note on door - "please leave parcels outside". Sorted.

Nicknacky · 02/12/2021 13:30

You don’t have a situation. You just have a newborn and chose to spend your time at the furthest part of the house from the front door 🤷🏻‍♀️

melj1213 · 02/12/2021 13:31

YABU

If you're always on the top floor of your house when the postman comes then, unless you spend the majority of your time up there, he must be coming at around the same time every day ... so if you want to speak to him I suggest being downstairs at his arrival time so you can get to the door quickly to "explain your situation"

FestiveFruitloop · 02/12/2021 13:32

@Justmuddlingalong

It's not his problem that you have a newborn, live in a 3 storey house and are often at the top of it when he's trying to deliver post. He's got a job to do and his round would take twice as long if he had to wait for people to accept parcels I presume they've ordered and are expecting.

But the post doesn't come at a specific time of day. What are people supposed to do, hover behind the door indefinitely till it arrives?

I have this issue too, 3-storey house and my office is at the top. If someone knocks or rings the doorbell, I get down as fast as I can but I'm not going to risk breaking my neck.

Original poster

Thunderpat · 02/12/2021 13:33

@SusieBob is it ok to call to the postman out of a window? I wouldn’t expect him to wait. But he can’t hear me when I call out.

I would expect him, however, to turn around if you are chasing him in bare feet with your baby in your arms and your front door hanging open, but he can’t hear you.

OP posts:

Thehermitspermit · 02/12/2021 13:34

My partner is a postie

He wears earphones on shift

Between us we care for 4 vulnerable adults. You can guarantee if I'm on the phone sorting something for one he will be doing the same for another

Yes he wear a earphones, for phonecalls, to be easily reachable, and to lists to audiobooks because walking 15 miles every day in the pissing rain and sleet isn't exactly fun

Yes he will stop and say hi to his elderly clients because he is nice - he will also get told off for taking too long on that delivery once he is back in the office

Posties are under a lot of stress right now, super busy with twice as many parcels as usual thanks go black Friday and Christmas coming up, and also taking on extra parts of rounds to cover those off sick

Have a little compassion. I get it's hard having a new born but they are finding things difficult too

FestiveFruitloop · 02/12/2021 13:34

Meant to add, yes he should take his earphones out. A person should be 'talkable-to' while they are working, for all sorts of reasons.

RealBecca · 02/12/2021 13:34

Of course you can catch him if youve had to run after him or run down to get a parcel

The world dowsnt revolve around you and your new baby.

Royal Mail arent an elderly check-in or social service.

RealBecca · 02/12/2021 13:35

And ypu could just put a note on the door or get a lockable box. Problem easily solved.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2021 13:37

I'm not expecting anyone to hover behind their door ready to accept parcels. But in the short term, the OP could just as easily get them delivered to the post office or pick up point and collect them when she's at ground level.

Rachie1973 · 02/12/2021 13:38

@Thehermitspermit

My partner is a postie

He wears earphones on shift

Between us we care for 4 vulnerable adults. You can guarantee if I'm on the phone sorting something for one he will be doing the same for another

Yes he wear a earphones, for phonecalls, to be easily reachable, and to lists to audiobooks because walking 15 miles every day in the pissing rain and sleet isn't exactly fun

Yes he will stop and say hi to his elderly clients because he is nice - he will also get told off for taking too long on that delivery once he is back in the office

Have a little compassion. I get it's hard having a new born but they are finding things difficult too

OP. There you go.

He can’t wait around for you!

Leave a note.

WeAreNotBowlingWithApples · 02/12/2021 13:39

I have worked with several deaf or hard of hearing posties over the years, the problem is not that he can't hear you... its that you take too long to get to the door.
Explaining your 'situation' won't help either, he isn't going to be given more time to complete his round just because you have a baby.

Stick a note on the door.
"I am at home with newborn, parcel deliveries please knock/ring bell and then leave on step. Thankyou"
Problem solved.

nitsandwormsdodger · 02/12/2021 13:39

Note on door “ I’m upstairs with baby please wait for a signature or leave parcels here thanks “

Problem solved!
Or get your letter box enlarged?

MsSquiz · 02/12/2021 13:39

Just pop a note on the door?

It's really not that big a deal.
I did when dd was tiny and quite likely to be napping on me when I was expecting post or parcels to be delivered. All postmen and couriers did I asked and didn't ring the doorbell and would just leave them at the front door/in a named safe place.

PaniniHead · 02/12/2021 13:39

I would leave baby in a safe place whilst you run down to answer the door. Or if your postman comes at the same time every day and you’re expecting a parcel- stay on the floor nearest the front door

Mantlemoose · 02/12/2021 13:40

Oh ffs what if he was deaf would you want him sacked?

Starcaller · 02/12/2021 13:40

Bloody hell, it's a gruelling and physical job, early starts, out in all weather, particularly this time of year. Can't imagine begrudging him listening to some music or whatever as he goes around. YABU.

Blueberryflavour · 02/12/2021 13:46

How many packages are you getting that this is a regular occurrence? Normal envelopes up to a certain size just go through the letterbox, and if you order a lot online surely it’s a mixture of carriers delivering parcels / signed for items and many of them you can put specific delivery instructions. Otherwise I find a bit of paper stuck to the door with simple instructions works well. If you are running some sort of business that means you get a huge amount of Royal Mail packages in a daily basis, surely a secure locked box would be a worthwhile investment or move whatever keeps you and baby mostly at the top of the house to a lower level.

HelplesslyHoping · 02/12/2021 13:47

Put a note on the door asking them to wait a moment, you are in but are on the top floor or whatever. My postie doesn't mind waiting because I asked him nicely and don't whinge about his headphones

ButFirstTea · 02/12/2021 13:49

Can you just put your baby down before you run down three flights of stairs?

Comefromaway · 02/12/2021 13:49

My dd wears noise cancelling earphones when she is working (not a postie) because she has sensory issues and they make the environment bearable for her.

But even if it's just music then it's still perfectly acceptable.

PinkWednesdays · 02/12/2021 13:53

@CorrBlimeyGG

the postman heard my elderly neighbour calling out when she had fallen down the stairs - she wouldn’t have stood much chance with this guy, though.

That was fortune, but absolutely not the postman's responsibility.

This.

The postman isn’t a social care service. His role is to deliver post. If you’re not answering the door quick enough, then he moves on. He doesn’t have all day to give each household 5 minutes to answer their door.

NotSoNewAndShiny · 02/12/2021 13:53

PP have given you good solutions to your problem.

Put a note on the door.

If he comes around the same time window (within the same hour or two - most posties do), you can stay some where close or keep an eye out for him.

It's up to you to use either or even both.

YABU to expect him to never wear earphones on the off chance he needs to hear someone call out to him.

HadEnough798 · 02/12/2021 13:54

You are staggeringly unreasonable. He has many, many people that he needs to deliver post to, the world does not revolve around you! If you're expecting a delivery, try and be downstairs and move a cot downstairs. If you can't, put a note on the door, put some kind of safe box there, or accept that you will miss the delivery. It's your problem to solve, not his.

DraigFach · 02/12/2021 13:55

YABU because that implies that only people with perfect hearing should be allowed to deliver post...when I can't think of a single reason why someone hearing impaired can't do the job and do it just as well as anyone else.

They are on a tight deadline in pretty bad weather, both motivating factors to keep momentum going.

If you know you're slow to the door pop a little sign on there saying so, I can't think of a single post person who doesn't pause when asked specifically to do so.

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