Why would you not want a heated blanket?

[Swanfairydust]

I live with another person and they have been working from home all day. The heating has been turned up to 23/25 degrees (I can see from the app). I didn’t think it was partially cold today - between 8-10 degrees but I have been told my spare room can get cold.

The thermometer is usually kept in her room but it was in the living room for a few weeks (she was away, didn’t want it kept in her room).

As the radiators were turned down low the temperature didn’t increase in the living room and as a result her bedroom radiator has been on full power all day (there is no tmv).

I have told her to put the thermostat back in her room (third time of asking, so this time it was

outside her room and told h

She's a lodger. She is doing stuff you do not like.

So she leaves and you find another who will live in your home appropriately dressed and with a sane idea of how to use the heating.

If she can't be bothered to act like an adult who knows that heating an empty house is expensive then she moves on.

"And it’s my house, so if I want to go into the room, I will." ? And you think this is normal because....not sure what kind of background you come from if you think this is acceptable.

On to the heating thing - I live in a very cold house, during the night it's absolutely freezing. I have a heated blanket - fine.

During the day, heating stays on in all rooms as well as the hallway to heat up the whole house. I think you should be able to be comfortable in your own home and wear normal clothes. Not have to layer up or be shuffling round in your dressing gown or draped in blankets to feel somewhat warm. That's not comfortable at all especially while working - can be a major distraction.

you need smart heating with TRV's on all radiators. You can control heat in every room then via an app.

You aren't creepy for having a quick look around the room btw - it's YOUR house & you are entitled to do so,

No she’s not!

If the lodger doesn't like it she can look elsewhere then can't she."

That's like saying an employer can break employment conditions and if the employee doesn't like it, they can work elsewhere 🙄

One minute you bought her a heated blanket, the next you say she said she was going to buy one but didn't.
Tenancy agreement or not, you have no right to go into her room without her permission, regardless of who owns the house.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

You aren't creepy for having a quick look around the room btw - it's YOUR house & you are entitled to do so,

No she’s not!

If the lodger doesn't like it she can look elsewhere then can't she."

That's like saying an employer can break employment conditions and if the employee doesn't like it, they can work elsewhere 🙄

Yes I can.

It’s my home, it’s a lodger, there are little to no rules. I’m not a landlord.

@Tee20x

"And it’s my house, so if I want to go into the room, I will." ? And you think this is normal because....not sure what kind of background you come from if you think this is acceptable.

On to the heating thing - I live in a very cold house, during the night it's absolutely freezing. I have a heated blanket - fine.

During the day, heating stays on in all rooms as well as the hallway to heat up the whole house. I think you should be able to be comfortable in your own home and wear normal clothes. Not have to layer up or be shuffling round in your dressing gown or draped in blankets to feel somewhat warm. That's not comfortable at all especially while working - can be a major distraction.

It’s winter. Wearing shorts and T-shirt’s isn’t appropriate.

At first I thought you were talking about a teenage child.
The way you treat her is so patronising and bullying.
Snooping in her room, judgy about her room and what she wears. Keeping track of what time she comes and goes.

Do you not work or have anything to do? You sound unhinged.

She was gone for 3 weeks so she wasn't using anything there. She offered to pay extra and you're still complaining.

@OhGiveUp

One minute you bought her a heated blanket, the next you say she said she was going to buy one but didn't. Tenancy agreement or not, you have no right to go into her room without her permission, regardless of who owns the house.

No I didn’t. I bought her one and she said she bought one the day before.

@RantyAunty

At first I thought you were talking about a teenage child. The way you treat her is so patronising and bullying. Snooping in her room, judgy about her room and what she wears. Keeping track of what time she comes and goes.

Do you not work or have anything to do? You sound unhinged.

She was gone for 3 weeks so she wasn't using anything there. She offered to pay extra and you're still complaining.

Patronising - it’s my home. Can I go and live with you and do what I want? Or do you have rules? It’s my financial burden.

Snooping - I made a change to the property, at her request, at my cost. I can check to make sure it’s ok.

Judgment - that’s you.

I don't think it should be your financial burden though OP, if someone else is living with you?

I would speak to her and say you appreciate she's cold but she is using the heating far more than you naturally would, and as such she will need to pay a bit extra. I think £10 a week is fine as a starter.

I'd also ask her to be mindful of switching off radiators when she leaves rooms in common areas, as it's a waste and also makes it uncomfortably warm for you.

Op AIBU?
Yes
Op. No I'm not. I can do what I like!
🤣

you need smart heating with TRV's on all radiators. You can control heat in every room then via an app

And who would be paying for this investment? The OP? Why should she?

“Heating nazi”???

Why did you ask then? Have you considered putting a lock on the outside of her door? You could then only allow her into her room at bedtime. You could prepare the electric blanket and fleecy pyjamas and tuck her in tightly so she can’t sneak out to turn her radiator up. If she complains, let her know it’s your house.

Or just accept the extra money she offered to pay and understand that you can’t have all things all ways. You need extra money, you take in a lodger. Part of that involves making compromises.

Our heating is set to 17degrees and comes on for about 3 to 4 hrs a day, an hour in the morning, an hour in the middle of the day and an hour in the evening. The thermostats are in the hallway and landing so the living room and bedrooms do get warmer than 17.
Honestly, 23-28 degrees is crazy! That's so warm, I would be so uncomfortable in that heat and I do like the house warmer than my husband does for example.
Also, your bills must be astronomical! We spend £70 on gas and electric for a 4 bedroom house a month, and we're in credit.
You need to make her pay if she wants the heating on so much. She won't care about the cost if she's not paying it!

I really don't get the whole thing with turning individual radiators on and off. When I had a couple of new one fitted, I was told not to do that as it can cause problems.

I'd also hate someone entering my room without permission. I know you're going to say "oh but she's a lodger and has no rights" but imo it's common courtesy not too snoop in another adult's bedroom.

I can't use heated blankets because I have eczema and the direct heat makes it flare up.

@QuestionableMouse

I really don't get the whole thing with turning individual radiators on and off. When I had a couple of new one fitted, I was told not to do that as it can cause problems.

I'd also hate someone entering my room without permission. I know you're going to say "oh but she's a lodger and has no rights" but imo it's common courtesy not too snoop in another adult's bedroom.

I can't use heated blankets because I have eczema and the direct heat makes it flare up.

What problems? They are just like taps.

Advice to OP: Sure, pass the additional heating charges onto your lodger. I think that's perfectly reasonable since she's running up the increased bills.

Advice to lodger: Run like the fucking wind and never look back.

More advise to OP: Save money another way that doesn't involve people paying to stay in your home. Your intransigence and poor boundaries mean you are unsuited to having lodgers.

@Kanaloa

Why did you ask then? Have you considered putting a lock on the outside of her door? You could then only allow her into her room at bedtime. You could prepare the electric blanket and fleecy pyjamas and tuck her in tightly so she can’t sneak out to turn her radiator up. If she complains, let her know it’s your house.

Or just accept the extra money she offered to pay and understand that you can’t have all things all ways. You need extra money, you take in a lodger. Part of that involves making compromises.

I don’t have to make compromises, because it’s my home….

Just up her rent by 100 quid a month. Keep that 100 quid by to pay the winter power bill. Then you can stop worrying about it.

Personally my heating is off if I'm the only one in the house. The cat hates me I'm sure.

God you sound worse and worse with every reply. If you don’t want to make any compromises then give her her notice and get rid. She offered to pay extra, and instead you went snooping through her room to prove she’d lied about having a blanket.

You sound like a nightmare op.

I have a heated blanket. I still like the heating on.

Just work out how much more your bill is and charge her more.

And stop going into her room.

I'm not home to check but I'm pretty sure mine have screws on that have to be opened to adjust the valve. The gas fitter said not to open and close them all of the time because it can cause airlocks and the wear on the valves isn't great, long term.

We have the heating between 15 and 17 depending on the room. Some rooms are unheated with the doors closed. At night the heating is set at 12. Not because we're martyrs, but because it's an old house and the potential bills are terrifying. We have electric blankets for both us and the pets, plus heated throws and dress sensibly.

What's the point if having a lodger if they add most of the money they pay you onto the heating bill? Gas and electricity prices are terrifying now.