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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you go to a wedding next weekend?

250 replies

weddingguesttbc · 01/12/2021 19:01

Am vaccinated and RSVP'd yes. Not old or CEV but I am wary.

Would you go? They've likely paid for me already. I have booked a hotel etc.

Doubts over whether it will even happen at this rate.

Do you think it will happen? (if it doesn't, I guess I wait for now and do nothing) and if it does, would you go?

OP posts:
Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 22:08

[quote Macaroni46]@Notahandmaid for some of us our work involves mixing with a lot of people (in my case unvaccinated children) so there's no option to keep myself away from others. Am not worried about Covid at all. It's an illness that is now part of our lives just as flu is, stomach bugs etc [/quote]
It’s an illness that could kill my mum/other vulnerable people. I don’t want to take that chance. I lost my dad earlier this year (not to Covid) and want to keep my mum safe for as long as I can, though I do feel it’s inevitable that we’ll all get it eventually (and I am now in that number). And this is an illness that a third of people can have without knowing and can therefore pass it on unwittingly, whereas with flu, you know you have it (and wouldn’t be well enough to be going out anyway!).

I must admit that I’m not a fan of weddings anyway. Partner and I were invited to one a few months ago and he went but I didn’t (for Covid related reasons and we explained this at the time and it was fine).

TenoringBehind · 01/12/2021 22:15

I wouldn’t but I hate weddings and would be glad of any excuse not to go!

However, Covid wouldn’t be a factor in my decision. You could catch it anywhere, or maybe not at all.

BoredZelda · 01/12/2021 22:16

No variant has been vaccine resistant. It slightly lowers protection, but still vaccines offer high protection.

You understand why they are saying this one might, at the very least, be resistant to the MRNA vaccines? And by “they” I mean the people who developed those vaccines.

WhenSepEnds · 01/12/2021 22:17

@weddingguesttbc

Am vaccinated and RSVP'd yes. Not old or CEV but I am wary.

Would you go? They've likely paid for me already. I have booked a hotel etc.

Doubts over whether it will even happen at this rate.

Do you think it will happen? (if it doesn't, I guess I wait for now and do nothing) and if it does, would you go?

Yes but would wear a mask just for peace of mind (personal choice)
Hera222 · 01/12/2021 22:19

It’s my wedding on the 10th ;)! Maybe your one of my guests lol!

It’s unlikely the government restrictions will change before then and the couple are unlikely to be able to move it unless they do (even if they wanted to) so I would say there’s a 90% chance it’s going ahead. We’ve tried our best by reducing our numbers down to give people space but it depends on the venue and how they have filled it.

I would understand if any of my guests felt uncomfortable and decided not to come, no-one other than you knows how you feel about a situation and the level of anxiety you may experience.

What I would say is make your mind up sooner rather than later. They’ll be getting seating plans printed in the next few days etc. so don’t delay in making a decision and letting them know if you can’t make it - it’s a right faff having to change tables, get things reprinted etc. They will have paid for your meal, they will have done this two weeks before, so there’s not much hope of them recouping the cost, but if you do let them know if you aren’t coming, they might be able to swap your meal for something else, like more canapés (if the caterers are feeling nice). Leave it too late and the won’t be able to do anything.

Profiterolla · 01/12/2021 22:24

Yes, I would go. My own wedding was a month ago and nobody caught covid from attending it.

If you're not going to go, you need to tell the couple now. They probably won't be able to get a refund now with less than 2 weeks to go but there will be other things like the table plan etc that they will need to re-do. Don't leave it until a couple of days before to decide.

Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 22:31

@Hera222 Just wanted to say how nice it is that you are so understanding of any guests who might be nervous.

ImInStealthMode · 01/12/2021 22:35

Absolutely yes I would go, life is for living and locking ourselves away in fear is not living.

toomuchlaundry · 01/12/2021 22:39

I would be worried about having to isolate and muck up Christmas plans

ImInStealthMode · 01/12/2021 22:40

whereas with flu, you know you have it

Plunging wildly off topic, but do you? We don't routinely test completely symptomless or people with very mild symptoms for anything other than covid. Do we actually KNOW that people aren't walking about sharing the flu virus but asymptomatic themselves, and haven't always been? After all people report getting flu having been nowhere near anyone that (obviously) has it.

Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 22:47

The unscientific way of knowing that you have flu is putting a £50 note at the end of someone’s bed and, if they don’t have the energy to pick it up, they have flu!

Whereas evidence have shown that around 1/3 people with Covid is asymptomatic.

Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 22:48

I stand corrected!

hhma.org/can-the-flu-be-asymptomatic/

gogohm · 01/12/2021 22:50

Yes

RedRum27 · 01/12/2021 22:58

Yes, we went to one last weekend and had a great time. Go and enjoy it!

ImInStealthMode · 01/12/2021 23:06

Well quite @Notahandmaid. CEV people and the elderly are equally at high risk from flu, and the chances of being an asymptomatic carrier are roughly the same as Covid but somehow there isn't and never had been the same community paranoia about that.

Imagine 2 years ago someone being banned from holding a dying loved ones hand because 'you might have flu and not know it', or someone dropping out of a wedding last minute because 'another guest might have flu'. It'd be considered absolute madness.

Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 23:21

@ImInStealthMode

Well quite *@Notahandmaid*. CEV people and the elderly are equally at high risk from flu, and the chances of being an asymptomatic carrier are roughly the same as Covid but somehow there isn't and never had been the same community paranoia about that.

Imagine 2 years ago someone being banned from holding a dying loved ones hand because 'you might have flu and not know it', or someone dropping out of a wedding last minute because 'another guest might have flu'. It'd be considered absolute madness.

I take your point but more people are dying of Covid than do in a normal flu season. So not comparable.
Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 23:24

www.bmj.com/content/375/bmj.n2514

SuPerDoPer · 01/12/2021 23:40

This is depressing. We're back to hearing how anxious people are about carrying on with normal life.

Notahandmaid · 01/12/2021 23:46

If it wasn’t for my mum, having had 2 jabs and Covid recently, I would probably be a bit more relaxed. I am terrified of losing her though as we know that a bad cold could kill her. It was terrible losing my dad earlier on in the year and I don’t want to go through that again for as long as we can help it. I can see I am in a different situation to most though.

Hillary17 · 01/12/2021 23:49

Absolutely I’d be going, dancing and celebrating with friends!! Cases are low of the new variant, more people are getting boosters and deaths remain low. Live your life!

SteggySawUs · 02/12/2021 00:08

Totally would go! I think people will stop going to things after about the 12th because they don't want to risk missing Christmas due to isolating, rate than fear of the virus itself.
Enjoy!!

toomuchlaundry · 02/12/2021 00:11

@SteggySawUs next weekend is the 12th though

me4real · 02/12/2021 00:33

I am still recovering after having been ill for Covid with ten days (and am double vaxxed and now can't have my booster for 28 days) I wouldn't be going. I have no idea where I caught Covid from as I have been very careful (CEV mum). It must have been someone literally in passing. My main concern is that I catch it and pass it to my mum or to any other vulnerable people, of which there are a few in my extended family. I think anyone who goes to big events right now is mad but then, reading through the rest of the replies on this thread, I see I am in a very small minority.

@Notahandmaid If you have CEV people you see regularly you may feel differently. I'm single and don't see many people so I don't have to worry so much about it. Have had my booster as I have well-controlled asthma. My bestie is CEV but is laid back about it, he's going to have the booster in case they stop us being able to go out for coffee and stuff otherwise.

I imagine a lot of people will be trying to get some living in before there are any further restrictions- which makes sense to me.

me4real · 02/12/2021 00:38

If it wasn’t for my mum, having had 2 jabs and Covid recently, I would probably be a bit more relaxed. I am terrified of losing her though as we know that a bad cold could kill her. It was terrible losing my dad earlier on in the year and I don’t want to go through that again for as long as we can help it. I can see I am in a different situation to most though.

@Notahandmaid Exactly. So sorry for your loss. Flowers

How do you feel after having Covid? I've not knowingly had it, but people I've known who've been ill with it have been pretty knackered afterwards. My friend got what we thought was a false positive, think there are quite a lot of those.

KosherDill · 02/12/2021 00:47

No, would not attend unless it were outdoors.