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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Satisfaction at ex husband suffering

122 replies

ddotty · 30/11/2021 15:47

To feel a kind of satisfaction that everything in the garden is now incredibly un-rosy for my STBXH? Funny how visiting prostitutes loses its appeal once you don't have a wife. Just makes you a sad loser instead. Part of me feels sorry for him.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 30/11/2021 15:53

It's just Schadenfreude, a standard social emotion. You can certainly feel free to enjoy it though. Smile

Original poster
ddotty · 30/11/2021 15:58

Never heard of that before, interesting!

OP posts:
IsolaPribby · 30/11/2021 15:59

It's karma Grin

fabricfanatic · 30/11/2021 16:10

Seems normal to me. He made things miserable for you (I'm assuming, and only temporarily, I'm hoping), so why should you honestly care if he's now reaping what he's sown?

What goes around comes around, etc.

MissConductUS · 30/11/2021 16:18

@ddotty

Never heard of that before, interesting!
It's been observed in children as young as two.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

S2617 · 30/11/2021 16:21

What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?

gonnabeok · 30/11/2021 16:21

SatisyingWink

gonnabeok · 30/11/2021 16:21

Satisfying it should say...

FTEngineerM · 30/11/2021 16:26

@S2617

What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?

Ignored the bit about him cheating on her multiple times.. did you?
givemepiece · 30/11/2021 16:31

  • What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?*

Ooh Op maybe your XH is so bored and lonely he set up a MN account, here's hoping Grin

BeaMends · 30/11/2021 16:34

@S2617

What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?

Nasty.
Disfordarkchocolate · 30/11/2021 16:37

Enjoy it for a while but don't focus on it for too long, he's not worth it.

AcrossthePond55 · 30/11/2021 16:46

I think as long as one isn't purposefully causing the suffering just to watch the resulting shit-show, it's perfectly fine to enjoy it.

I've had a couple situations (that I had NO hand in creating) where someone got their comeuppance and enjoyed it immensely. One was a manager at a former employer. Quite a group of us got together for a drink when it happened and pretty much sat around with huge smiles on our faces after exchanging the bits and pieces each of us knew to 'complete' the whole story.

It was pretty amazing the number of people that this person had maliciously set out to destroy, purely for the joy of it. She tried and failed with me, but there were people whose lives she all but ruined.

diamondpony80 · 30/11/2021 16:54

I would feel a glimmer of satisfaction as well. But I know I'd be better off not thinking of him at all.

SunscreenCentral · 30/11/2021 17:01

Normal.

I took great pleasure in attending the hastily scrambled together leaving "party" of a person who'd been ~fired~ invited to tender their resignation having endured years of shabby treatment, put-downs and bullying behind closed doors by this person. I had a blast, beaming across the room at him.

LowlandLucky · 30/11/2021 17:04

Enjoy the feeling, it is fantastic.Wine

TowandaForever · 30/11/2021 17:08

I don't think the opposite of love is hate. I think it's indifference.

I don't have any feelings for my ex. I hope you get to this point op.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 30/11/2021 17:08

@S2617

What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?

Do you honestly think posting about schadenfreude on mumsnet is worse than cheating on your wife with prostitutes? Serious question, I genuinely want to know if you find the former activity to be "sadder" than the latter.
MzHz · 30/11/2021 17:11

@ddotty

To feel a kind of satisfaction that everything in the garden is now incredibly un-rosy for my STBXH? Funny how visiting prostitutes loses its appeal once you don't have a wife. Just makes you a sad loser instead. Part of me feels sorry for him.
Perhaps THIS ^ small part of me would feel sorry for him...
LumosSolem · 30/11/2021 17:15

@S2617

What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?

And even sadder still is someone having to come along with this shite.

Enjoy the feeling OP, I'd be exactly the same about my vile vile vile abusive ex.

BrilliantBetty · 30/11/2021 17:20

*What’s sadder is you sit on MN and post about someone else’s sadness.

Perhaps time to grow up a bit?*

NOPE. OP is doing just fine as she is.
Well done for cutting off shitty H, OP. May Karma bite him on the ass. Enjoy your freedom and live well. Smile

Oldtiredfedup · 30/11/2021 17:23

Enjoy

WellLarDeDar · 30/11/2021 17:23

@MissConductUS

It's just Schadenfreude, a standard social emotion. You can certainly feel free to enjoy it though. Smile
I learnt that word from Avenue Q Grin
Bluntness100 · 30/11/2021 17:25

I don’t really understand, why is everything in the garden not rosey? Purely because he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with prostitutes any more?

JamieNorthlife · 30/11/2021 17:29

Enjoy! Wine

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