AIBU to think that most adults don't have enemies?

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The context is that I was writing prayers for my church, so obviously the scriptural message is quite a lot about forgiving enemies, praying for enemies etc. A (non-practising) family member was reading through the prayers and noticed that I had one praying for better relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and neighbours. She said I should have included enemies in the list and my answer was that most people don't really have enemies once they leave primary school.

We weren't talking about people who have been through civil wars or similar and genuinely have experienced terrible trauma at the hands of other people, but just average people in western democracies. And we weren't talking about whole groups of people, just individual relationships. Do you have anyone you would class as an enemy?

I am not anyones enemy and would certainly hope I don’t have any.it’s a very extreme term. But to be fair there are some extreme folks about..

I would always hope not to have "enemies" in the formal sense of the word. Would like to think I've never pissed anyone off enough for them to put tanks on my lawn or throw dog poo through my letterbox.

But let's be honest there are times when you can have people in your life whom its hard to forgive and be charitable towards (a former spouse, a friend you've fallen out with, someone who beat you to a promotion). They're not actually enemies but people for whom compassion doesn't come easily. Over time you'd hope this would pass.

That's what this is about really isn't it?

I don't have any but sadly I can think of lots of people who do - generally where family relations have broken down and cause long lasting rifts between different sides of the argument.

I did not mean to enable voting on this, it was more of a discussion. But if anyone wants to vote it would be YABU = I think it's perfectly normal for adults to have emenies, YANBU = enemy is a really strong term and most people don't have an enemy

Not unless you're an organised crime boss, or similar!

Not sure the Lord is into smiting enemies nowadays, in any case. New Testament seems to have been an adjustment of contract

It sounds like your pre-medieval scripture is divorced from the realities of modern life.

There can be temp ones like neighbours or colleagues who make your life difficult but no, no long-standing enemies

Well I think enemy is probably too dramatic a word for what is essentially people you don't get along with. I don't have "enemies" but there are people in my life I dislike and choose not to have anything to do with. I suppose she means people like that.

Pretty common to be bullied in the workplace in some lines of work.

I'd consider a workplace bully to be an enemy.

I had a boss who was a terrible bully. She was horrible to everyone but picked on me most. I believe she is a psycopath and would count her as my enemy.
Otherwise, I am quite easy-going and forgiving. I rarely fall out with people. I don't know if it is common or unusual to have just one person you feel strongly about.

No, I haven't got any enemies that I know of. Nobody that would want to cause me physical harm etc
People that don't like me there's a few of them but I don't like them very much either so don't give them headspace.

I'd never have thought to use the word "enemy" but I do have an awful/dangerous relative who I suppose I could put in that category. I'm not sure I'd be able to bring myself to forgive this person, but I do try my best to not let them hold power over me.

Not sure that you're asking for suggestions, but a less extreme version of enemies might be "those who have hurt us or wronged us". I've certainly got a few who come under that heading

What? You don’t think the populations of western democracies have enemies?

I do always raise my eyebrows a bit at adults who have enemies. It's usually people who are somewhat chaotic and have a lot of drama going on. Always seems rather petty and exhausting.

Pretty much everyone on Selling Sunset seems to have an enemy or three. They get entire seasons' worth of drama over who has fallen out with who, and why.

@Ylfa

What? You don’t think the populations of western democracies have enemies?

I was thinking we were talking individuals?

We are (so I’m told) nice people and we have an enemy.

Our neighbours have unilaterally decided we’re enemies and I don’t understand why. Just the act of our plants growing and them being able to see the leaves growing up our shared fence, gives them a hernia and they have taken a strong dislike to us, damaging our plants and shouting at us for no good reason. They get especially vexed when we have a friend over in daytime, just chatting at normal levels in the garden.

We’re just a normal family with a normal garden, but they can’t stand the sight of us.

My brother would kill me if he thought he could get away with it.

No I don't have enemies...there are people I don't like, but I wouldn't call them enemies. There's a very odd mother at my DC's school who has taken a real dislike to me...she gives me dirty looks whenever I see her...it's a bit weird . If I see her at an event, we blank each other. I suppose she is the closest thing I have to an enemy but I feel like I've been a bit coerced into it

They are people I dislike intensely. Not quite ready to class as enemies though.

An enemy is more than someone you have strong reservations about/would prefer to avoid, I would think. Most adults know someone they keep at arm's length for whatever reason.

Few adults are plotting against someone though or actively trying to sabotage something which is what I would consider an enemy.

Several times though, I see posts here from people who are going on about how someone's actively plotting to ruin someone's wedding or whatever and I do think maybe I live a very sheltered life because I don't know of anyone who behaves like that.

I don’t have enemies, but I do have people I don’t like so much or that there is friction with due to differing approaches/political beliefs. I think that’s more true now than ever and i suspect including them in your prayers would be the same thing, gets you to be more forgiving and able to move past barriers type thing. Helps see the value they have as people aside from the friction.

It's the enemies you have who you think are friends that are the problem in adult relationships tbh.

No enemies here but I’d like a nemesis in the way of Sherlock and Moriarty. Someone who I can ponder acts of petty revenge on, although, perhaps this is why I’m married