AIBU to think that most adults don't have enemies?

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The context is that I was writing prayers for my church, so obviously the scriptural message is quite a lot about forgiving enemies, praying for enemies etc. A (non-practising) family member was reading through the prayers and noticed that I had one praying for better relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and neighbours. She said I should have included enemies in the list and my answer was that most people don't really have enemies once they leave primary school.

We weren't talking about people who have been through civil wars or similar and genuinely have experienced terrible trauma at the hands of other people, but just average people in western democracies. And we weren't talking about whole groups of people, just individual relationships. Do you have anyone you would class as an enemy?

@Babybooboodedoo

We are (so I’m told) nice people and we have an enemy.

Our neighbours have unilaterally decided we’re enemies and I don’t understand why. Just the act of our plants growing and them being able to see the leaves growing up our shared fence, gives them a hernia and they have taken a strong dislike to us, damaging our plants and shouting at us for no good reason. They get especially vexed when we have a friend over in daytime, just chatting at normal levels in the garden.

We’re just a normal family with a normal garden, but they can’t stand the sight of us.

We also have a neighbour who has chosen to be our enemy. We do everything in our power to keep things civil and in normal circumstances would have no problem with this person but he has a total vendetta against us involving solicitors letters, blocking anything we try to do to our property, interfering with friends calling etc Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you has often come into my mind due to this guy. Enemies don't have to have been opposite you in a trench.

My stalker is not my friend. She is my enemy.

I have an enemy - she owed money to a charity I was involved with and wanted it to be somehow 'written off'. When I explained that it wasn't possible to do that and offered a payment plan, she responded by badmouthing me to anyone who would listen and threatening my 4 year old son in conversation with a third party. So, despite my best efforts, I have an enemy.

I'm surprised that you have never encountered anyone who has been treated poorly by another adult to the extent that they want nothing to do with them.

Everyone second thread on here is about someone a MNer hates / is furious with / is going NC with so on that basis I’d say many adults have enemies

My siblings became my enemies when they got our elderly father drunk before duping him into agreeing to sell them his house at a knockdown price to avoid losing their inheritance when he was forced to sell up to move into a care home. I put a stop to it & neither of us has heard from them since.

We all have people who annoy us in some way. Only people I can think of who’d really have enemies would be drug dealers, organised crime gangs, that sort of thing. And I’m not sure suggesting they pray for their enemies would have much effect on them.

The word ‘enemy’ suggests someone you’re actively engaged in a hostile dispute with or plotting against. I’m guessing your friend means people we just don’t get on with or feel resentful about or can’t forgive. That’s pretty common… as someone said above, just look at Mumsnet… but I can’t think of a neat word to sum those people up... ‘Enemies’ sounds extreme, maybe ‘those who have wronged us’ or ‘those we don’t get along with’ could be added to your list instead?

I think some take the word "enemies" too literally. Most people don't have an archnemesis like a superhero would, but it's rare that someone gets along perfectly with and easily loves the whole world, including all its politicians, criminals, jerks, and other assorted unlikeable people.

An enemy is someone or a group who wishes you serious damage, incarceration or death. Not stupid family squabbles or silly workplace ego battles.

Yes I have enemies, and yes you ought to have included it.

No, I don't think I've ever had enemies , even at school. It's such an extreme term, isn't it. I've had people who don't seem to like me for some reason, but I'd hardly call them enemies.

I don't know of anyone I would class as an enemy, but there are one or two people that I would do absolutely nothing to help, would slam the door in their face if the wanted "forgiveness" or help and would lose no sleep over it.

I do but thats because this person views me as their enemy. I view them as someone I trusted and who let me down and then slagged me off trying to wreck my life and reputation. As it turned out, no one believed them and their actions have aliented them rather than me so now they hate me with a passion.

I feel sorry for them and wish that they had not done this to themselves, thats when I think of them at all which is rare, but I seem to be on their mind a lot!

This person also, this week, on hearing via the village grapevine that I am having tests for a serious illness has said "Finger crossed" in a way that made it very clear that they hope I die....charming!

My brother and I are enemies of my sister. Before their deaths, she mistreated our parents. She sold a family business over our heads, and refuses to distribute the proceeds of their estates. She won’t speak to either of us except through lawyers. I will never see her again while we are both living. I missed a company and family reunion because I will not be in the same room with her. My brother choose to not invite her to his wedding. She shows no remorse, so I cannot forgive her

@Pascal80. This isn’t a silly quarrel. She emotionally abused me and my brother for years, but my parents chose to ignore her faults. She has chosen to unilaterally deny me my patrimony. I have chosen to go on the best I can, but she owes me that money. Extended family members and mutual friends have taken sides. It’s heartbreaking to live like this.

@Hillarious

Yes - the woman who is after my seat at "7" in my rowing boat.

I would call that a rival rather than an enemy.

I never understood people who have enemies or care enough to feud and fall out with people in an active way.

My Father in law had a list of enemies, people who offended and wronged him. He fell out with people all over the place and was on non-speaking terms with a lot of his relatives. I never understood it. Why he would bother, why the enemies would bother? How could so many people have been so horrible and unfair to him? What are the odds that all these terrible relationships would happen to the one man?

I do understand it now.

Unsurprisingly, my 'enemy' is my father in law who went from being benignly awkward and 'set in his ways' to ruthlessly relentlessly bulling and verbally abusing me the moment I failed to grant his every wish without question.

Don’t narcissist personality types maintain a roster of enemies? I would find the use of the word interesting enough to ask supplemental questions about it’s deployment.

I don't have enemies in the sense that I consider them enemies. Bit I work with two people whose main daily focus seems to be to undermine me and anything I achieve, so I think they are in fact "enemies" because they are always looking for a fight.

I have an arch-nemesis...

Enemy is a strong word. I think it implies a level of activeness, more than just disliking someone. You'd have to be making an effort to do or say things to hurt them.
I know people I dislike. I tend to avoid having anything to do with them, so I don't think that counts as an enemy. I've also had times when I've borne quite a grudge against someone. It took time to get to a place where I could put it behind me.
I did, I suppose, have an enemy at senior school. There was a girl in my friendship group who took a dislike to me one day. She'd go out of her way to say horrible things to me and tried regularly to push me out of the group. I never really responded though, I was too shy and didn't know what to do. I've not had anything like that as an adult.

@Reallybadidea

Not sure that you're asking for suggestions, but a less extreme version of enemies might be "those who have hurt us or wronged us". I've certainly got a few who come under that heading

@Reallybadidea I agree with this definition

What about terrorists etc. Aren't they enemies?

I think of someone I used to work for as an enemy.

No. I did when I was a teenager/young adult but not now.