Three times I have taken in friends and family in need who were ‘desperate’ because it felt like the right thing to do.
Every single time they have taken root and ended up needing almost pushing out of the door. They quickly stopped looking for other accommodation, made me feel like I’m interloper in my home, made me feel like a CF if I asked them to do/not to do something around the house. One ended up here for over a year and the final straw was the bailiffs turning up about their unpaid fines threatening to take my car and other items to the value of the debt whilst I was out and my then 18 year old daughter was home and the rooted resident ‘guest’ hid in her room.
One of these people had two kids and was also going to though a messy separation and her ranting, raging and crying interspersed with bursts of manic energy and chaotic vibe exhausted me mentally.
One couple had a VERY big dog that acted like it owned the house and bit me when I got home one day and they had gone out.
The one that brought the bailiff and a heap of drama to my door drove me very close to a nervous breakdown. I’d end up dropping my youngest child to school then staying out all day till pick up. It was making my kids unhappy and unsettled too.
It’s all well feeling you must be kind, you must make room for those in need ‘because you have the space’ but it’s the mental space these people take that’s the hardest. And people are often oblivious as to how entitled they have become once they consider your home their home and have made themselves part of the furniture.
And yes showing your ‘the dumps’ she can afford on her budget sounds highly manipulative, I’ve had this tactic used on me, they had it so comfy here they were unwilling to ‘downgrade’ to a small studio flat despite me showing them lots that were available.
It’s really hard to say no, but you should, staying for three days tells you this person doesn’t understand what’s reasonable or what boundaries are. It will likely get worse.