To ask what you find/found hardest about being a parent to young children?

[Heepers]

For me, I think it is 100% the broken nights and exhaustion.

The relentlessness and repetition. Endless meals, naps, bedtimes, nappies, drinks, baths, nose wiping etc etc. Work feels a bit like a holiday (except then I miss them!)

All my friends dropped me when I had my two children. I was 27 which I think is a fairly average age but where I live it’s considered young. So all my childless friends dropped me and I’m 10 years younger than most of the school mums so now I have no friends at all really. Sometimes I wish I’d have waited a bit longer to have them.

The hyperactivity. My dd is almost 3, and never sits down so from the moment she wakes to the moment she's put to bed it's go go go, constant climbing and running. I sometimes wish she'd just sit and watch the tv, but then the mum guilt kicks in and I feel bad for wanting her to want screen time haha.

Having a full time job too.

Lack of sleep / broken sleep definitely. We had two two years apart and neither slept through till they were nearly five. Everything else is so much more bearable after a decent night's sleep. I am expecting a third after a big gap and praying for a better sleeper this time! But if I'd had good sleepers I'd probably say the relentlessness/boredom/neediness.

Tantrums, broken sleep, endless laundry and wrestling toddlers in and out of car seats…

Oh and snacks! The constant snack demands…

Lack of sleep and monotony of the routine. Mostly sleep 😂

The constant, gut wrenching worry when they are poorly. Especially when they're very small and can't tell you what's wrong. It's being woken by that pained cry in the night, when you know somethings not right and you dash into their room trying to work out how serious it is. And you try to convince yourself It's all fine, and mostly it is, until the odd trip to A&E reminds you that it sometimes it is serious.
I never thought I'd ever sleep soundly again but it gets easier, eventually.

Food.
Making 3 meals a day, everyday. Them only eating a tiny bit some days, making sure I offer a variety even though I KNOW I'll be scraping it in the bin. Feeling guilty if I give them something sugary or fast food.

The worry that something bad will happen. It's not always indicative of PND or anxiety, sometimes it's just 'normal' but there's nothing to do to help with it.

Paying out huge sums of money every month for childcare and the subsequent financial struggle.

The relentless of the baby stage. The sleepless nights, the endless crying, the constant feeding, the continual clearing up of vomit and poo explosions...

This does get easier, but then you’re faced with singing nursery rhymes, playing Peekaboo, and building towers out of cups. This is lovely at first, but hour after hour, day after day and month after month, it can grind you down.

The lack of a break. I don’t have family nearby and my in laws only wanted to criticise, not help.

Lack of sleep and still having to get up for work.

@GetOffTheTableMabel
I’m through it all now but undoubtedly the bit I found hardest was playing. I enjoyed reading books, taking them to classes or the park. As they got older, I could enjoy activities like baking or jigsaws or board games but I don’t want to pretend-play. I hate dolls. And I loathe crafts which are boring, messy and sticky.
I always felt uncomfortable with the fact that playing was the thing I found most challenging. It feels a bit shameful (but I secretly enjoyed night feeds so maybe I’m just weird).

Same here, I hate playing. Hate it so much! Reading is great, jigsaws are great, even baking. But pretending to play all the games from bluey is slowly killing me. I can't have another child, am sticking with one

The responsibility of it all. Constantly making choices that impacted them and double guessing if I was doing parenting right. Now they're grown up I sometimes can't quite believe I did it.

The high cost/varying availability of childcare meaning I'm stuck in a low paid part time job. I feel like I'm wasting my degrees and my brain is shrinking.

Like others, the relentlessness - I was very fortunate that mine slept, but, oy, getting in from work or waking up and endless requests for this and that straight away.

@Fritilleries

Sleep deprivation. Bone numbing exhaustion. The relentless nature of feeding, changing, transporting... I miss getting on a train to go somewhere and not having to factor in a small person. I am essentially a slave. I will never have a second child. The first has completely shredded my life apart.

I am with you. I genuinely 100percent cannot understand why people go on to have more than 1. I did have pnd so obviously that wasn't great but i dont get it at all!!

Thinking back, the not being able to do anything - buy a pint of milk, without taking the DCs. I never had nearby relatives who could be around. So really it was the sheer lack of freedom.
The non stop illness was hard too. And the witching hour!

Not being able to wake up naturally, always being woken by someone. I'm not even one for having a massive lie in but being poked awake every single day for years was tough.

@thetittifer

The fact that when you're in the depths of it most people don't really get just how incredibly hard it is, because if they did they would proactively help (I'm specifically referring to siblings with no kids and very little stress in their lives - and yes I know that childcare shouldn't be expected but if they knew how hard it was they would be offering). I remember having a newborn and 18 month old that wouldn't sleep and nearly having a bit of a breakdown whilst people around me were none the wiser

Did you actually ask for help from your siblings if you found your children so difficult? On these pages parents, mainly mothers, are constantly complaining about family butting in so maybe they didn't want to be thought to be critical by offering help.

One I was expecting: the lack of freedom to go off riding/cycling whenever I want.

One I was not expecting: the terror of something awful happening to him and the anxious horrific scenarios that pop into my head randomly.

Meal times without a doubt, they’re hideous. I think I will cry with joy the first time my 2yo gets down from her chair herself, puts her plate in the dishwasher and wipes her own face if it needs it. I can’t stand all the fucking about and worst of all, no sooner is one meal done than you have to start thinking about the next one. Saying that, I think the peak awful bit of parenting each of my young children so far has been how utterly wretched I felt in early pregnancy both times. I am so glad to have completed my family so I never have to go through it again; give me sleepless nights with a newborn over that any day.

@Dogdogdogdoneit

That even when I get time to myself I can’t enjoy it due to guilt / anxiety. That was something I never bargained for.

This!