To ask what you find/found hardest about being a parent to young children?

[Heepers]

For me, I think it is 100% the broken nights and exhaustion.

Planning life around schedules....food schedule, naps, bedtime. Weekends no longer fun. Tantrums. Mealtimes.

I find it really difficult balancing a career with having a toddler. I spend most of my time feeling like I’m not doing either job very well.

Selfishness of teens.
Unrelenting self centred crap.

Lack of sleep and constant colds/coughs

Never being alone. I was either at home with kids or at work. DH travelled a lot so it was full-on.
It was a revelation when they were both at school.

The stuff, how much it weighs you down, and other peoples expectations of the amount of stuff were oppressive too. All of a sudden I was expected to move around not just with a baby, but with a car seat, a pushchair, a changing bag, filled with milk, bottles, nappies, wipes, changes of clothes, burp cloths, ENDLESS equipment, stuff, just so much stuff. I rebelled and started going out with just the baby and no baby container and no baby bag and the world never fell in, but the amount of looks and tuts I got was unreal.

The child who did not sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time (and whose wakings lasted 2-3 hours) for seven (7) years. Drove me to breaking point.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

The not being alone

No lie ins when they were younger / shorter lie ins now

Broken nights when they were smaller

Bed time - I don’t like that I can’t “switch off” early in the evening, and have to do bed time - have felt like this since they were born!

I think I’m an introvert

I think you are me!

Lack of time to myself. As a single parent, having to take them everywhere I go - pop to the shop would take me 5 minutes alone. With 2csmall dc I have to get them both to have a wee, get shoes on, stop fucking mianing about having to go, get in the car with whatever shite they want to bring, get them out, go into shop, navigate not buying more shite, back in car, hone, out of the car blah blah blah.

Can't wait for the day they can reliably strap themselves in and put their shoes on in less than 8 requests and 5 minutes.

Keeping a straight face in "serious" situations.
Why? Because some things are REALLY important to 3 year olds and need to be taken seriously. I will admit to having to go into another room, close the door and then laugh.
No issues with sleep or tantrums, but we took time to get to know our children (as babies), work out how they ticked and set age-appropriate boundaries.

Not being able to have a peaceful toilet break on my own!

Milestones being monitored externally by other people and feeling responsible if they weren't met.

Just having to constantly be vigilant.

Still grateful I had the chance to experience it all though.

The emotions. Alternating between worrying about his health and worrying about mine. Worrying about his development. Worrying about how he will fit in at school - whether he will make good friends/whether he'll get bullied or left out. Guilt about not giving him a sibling (yet, maybe never). Sadness at the fact that he'll grow more and more independent of us and will need us less and less emotionally (whilst knowing that's inevitable and what is supposed to happen). Sadness at the fact that one day we will be physically separated by the inevitable.

Mainly just constant worry.

But also so much joy 💕

Lack of sleep, constant battles over ridiculous things like which bowl they want cereal in or putting shoes on, their constant fighting with each other.

Other than that, I love it!

I have a toddler and a 10mth old baby.

Definitely for me the lack of sleep - DD is an absolute little beast, she's either fighting sleep or just generally whinging and crying about something. She cries in the car, won't go in the buggy, she's so high needs and difficult. Cosleeps, contact naps and just wants held 24/7.

Then the constant illnesses, just so poorly all the time. DD has had a cold/snotty nose since September....no wonder she's so miserable!

Not having time to myself. I just want to unwind for a bit. DS has recently been teething so he’s skipping naps, very cranky and won’t sleep without me next to him. So I get literally no time to myself. I don’t like the way it makes me feel.
I’m a single mum, his dad parents 5 hours a week. I’ve got no support around here. I’m running on fumes. My family and friends tell me I’m doing a good job, but it doesn’t feel like it. I don’t need a pat on the back. I need someone to actually help me.

The worry. That something was wrong, that something would go wrong, that they would be ill, that I was doing it wrong. I always felt like I was doing it wrong! And by the time I got the hang of something, they grew out of it and there was another horrible way to be inadequate.

I’m through it all now but undoubtedly the bit I found hardest was playing. I enjoyed reading books, taking them to classes or the park. As they got older, I could enjoy activities like baking or jigsaws or board games but I don’t want to pretend-play. I hate dolls. And I loathe crafts which are boring, messy and sticky.
I always felt uncomfortable with the fact that playing was the thing I found most challenging. It feels a bit shameful (but I secretly enjoyed night feeds so maybe I’m just weird).

Lack of understanding from the older generation/people with older children/people with no children. I hate that I’m flaky and a slave to routine… but when we don’t follow it DH & I have to deal with the fall out from a crazed toddler for several days after. The selective amnesia from parents who insist they “just got on with it” when I want to say, right now the fall out from seeing you for a fun day out just is not worth it to me!!

Sleep deprivation. Everything is manageable if you're sleeping and unbearable if you're not.

The relentlessness, every 5 minutes it's "mummy, mummy"

The hyperness when they are together, the 6 year old turns into a 4 year old so I feel like I have 4 year old twins.

The over dramatics, the 6 year old has a ton of attitude already and strops about in a very dramatic fashion saying how we hate him because we told him off. The 4 year old just screams if he doesn't get his own way.

The 6 year old on his own can actually be really lovely. I enjoy his company when it's just us, he's so much calmer.

I'm just hoping in a couple of years when they are 6 and 8 things will be calmer and easier for a bit until the teenage years hit.

Have an almost 1yo and a 5yo. The baby doesn't sleep well so for me it's the lack of sleep.

Having a nice house and slowly watching it get wrecked as more shite is spilled or stamped into the carpet/scrapped along the walls. Ditto the garden.

All the fucking fighting. All.The.Fucking.Time.

And the sleep deprivation. I had people occasionally come over and help and I managed to get some sleep on the very odd occasion but it all seemed so bloody pointless if 24 hrs later you were going to feel totally exhausted again.

I didn’t sleep through the night for the best part of eight years. In that time I’ve aged about 16 years. I look back and wonder how much nicer a person I might have been if that hadn’t been the case…

Mine are now 6&4 and honestly I did struggle a lot with the toddler years, I found it monotonous. I love so much having proper conversations with them as they're getting older, still in the early stages of that, but I love it and am excited for more of that.

I’ve only been a Mum for 5 days and so far I can safely say it’s the lack of sleep!

That even when I get time to myself I can’t enjoy it due to guilt / anxiety. That was something I never bargained for.