to expect my MIL to get my name right?

[Madlentileater]

OK, so me and DP are married, I kept my name and use MS as formal title. our children (her gc) are called firstname mysurname-dpssurname. She consitnetly addresses letters to me as Mrs my first name mysurname-dps surname. Once DD1 opened one because we share the same initial and I know DP mentioned it to her- why is it so difficult?

so, not just in the madlentil clan then....
I agree that it's not the most important thing in the world, that's why I grit my teeth and say nothing, but I do think it's rude, and all probably based on some mad ideas about'family' (like we were in EastEnders or something) maybe if DP wasn't an only child and the 'last of his line' (I kid you mot, these words have been used!) she'd be more rational. ah well.

This time of year we enjoy the variety of surnames that we are addressed by. I use Ms Myname (have used Ms since I was 13, been married 10 years), DH is Mr Hisname, and DS is Myname-Hisname. In an effort to reinforce this we went out change of address cards with all the names on when we moved in September. So far, its failed abysmally as I've only had one card (from my mum), and the strange floozy Mrs Hisname has had several. In a new move, we've had several to Mr + Mrs Myname-Hisname, as obviously DS and the cat couldn't be the only ones with that name.
Drives me insane as it just says 'can't be @rsed to remember your names'.
Have been told that its too much effort to write all the names on the envelope

So what is the proper way to address an envelope to a married couple when they have different surnames?

I think there are worse things you Mil could address you by !!

Would not bother me in the slightest to be honest but then I have no issue with taking my DH name.

Maybe she feels strongly about people taking their husbands name, just as you feel strongly about keeping your maiden name.

Two people who need to agree to disagree!! Imo its just two people standing up for what they believe in ?? Neither is right or wrong!!

You cite each surname, Castille.

Joedar, calling someone by the wrong name is just plain rude.

I get pissed off with everyone who gets any bit of my (complicated) name wrong. And it wouldn't help even if I (a) got married (b) changed my surname to Mr Inferior's - everyone gets his surname wrong too.

I don't have strong views on surnames either way but I do get a bit peed off at Christmas when I'm doing Christmas cards - can't really be bothered with the whole Ms X and Mr y thing on the envelopes and usually end up only addressing the card to one half of the couple!