... to ask how well you get with SILs/BILs?

[FreeAsAByrd]

Thought triggered by some recent posts. Our extended family will spend a good bit of time together over the holidays, and it is not something I especially enjoy.

-> One SIL I really don't get on with. We have very little in common, and I'm always struggling to have a conversation with her. It's just so boring (she'd probably say the same about me though!)

-> Two BIL that are very career orientated. To an extent I am too, but don't need to talk about it the whole time.

DH and his Dad really enjoy this time together, and I know how much it means to them. For me, it's often a mild form of torture :)

AIBU - YES - I get on well with SIL/BIL
AIBU - NO - I really don't get on well with SIL/BIL

Mostly get along with older sil (husband's older sister) she is very never getting married or kids etc but she treats my kids really nice but we don't see her that often. The young sil is a nightmare from the start very precious demanding judgemental (even her own sister and mil said this) she did something that I couldn't forgive her for even to this day so I find it hard to make the effort and when I do it's a bit fake. Her husband is an absolute dick too so I don't like seeing them but sometimes we have to!

My brother’s partner was lovely, much missed.
My husband’s siblings - well their spouses are ok but the siblings not so with plenty of eggshells to tread on when talking about any subject. DH wants to up sticks and move back close to them - not me pal!

I really like my brothers wife and we get on well. My sisters husband I increasingly find a pain, too loud, drinks too much, but show offy - but absolutely fine to spend time with on a surface level.

I do not care for DH's sister and would not be friends with her at all without him. She is a pain, very spoilt and entitled and is their mums favourite so I feel bad for my DH as she massively plays up to/take advantage of. I can spend time with her, but not too much!

I get on with them very well. They are family, we're not really supposed to become good friends, it's a different kind of relationship. We're close, we love each other, but it doesn't mean that we have the same interests etc - that's what friends are for.

My SiL is fine. We are just completely different people and I believe DHs parents baby her. She's nearly 30 and they pay for everything. She works one day a week as an "apprentice" but she refuses to look for any other work as "nobody would work in a job they don't love" oh honey. Of course they don't when parents will pick up the slack. She and PiL have a very tiny world. Not many friends, don't do much so the conversation is just tedious as it just ends up being what the dogs have done that day. They're fine in small small doses as they haven't don't anything particularly bad to me. They're nice enough just very very different personalities.

SIL & I like a house on fire - mutual enemy… MIL.
BIL (her DH) get on extraordinarily well also. He also loathes MIL. (We all have a cunning plan to get him to forcibly remove my DH’s blinders when the state borders here in Aus reopen.)

BIL is a nice guy and get on fine with him. SIL, in the 10 years I have known her, has never asked me one question about myself. Very self absorbed and really dominates BIL.

I used to make a lot of effort with her to try and make her feel welcome in the family (she is BIL's second wife) but don't bother now. Just let DH and BIL get on with it.

They live 200 miles away so not really an issue day to day.

I'm incredibly lucky - my DH has 2 brothers and 1 sister, and I also have my SIL's husband and BIL's long term girlfriend. They're as much my family as my own. I get on with them all incredibly well, and I love them so much. I could spend 1 on 1 time with any of them. We've all been together 10+ years since we were early 20's/teenagers and have had the most marvellous times together - having the kind of stupid, drunken nights in our 20's and now some of them have children so we've moved into a new, wonderful phase together as well. I honestly can't imagine where I'd be without them - I really did gain a family when I met my husband. It's wonderful.

Dp is an only child so that side is easy.

BIL is a nice guy who loves my sister. Worst thing I can say about him is that I think he gets his own way a bit too much. On the other hand my SIL gets walked over a bit by my brother and I wish she wouldn’t let him get away with it as much.

So similar on both sides, all lovely people but in both relationships I feel the men get pandered to and I want to give them a good shake and make them be a bit more considerate to their partners.

My late brother-in-law and I did not get on. To some extent he was scared of me, we were in the same year at school, and he referred to me as queen of the nerds. My current brother-in-law I don know if we get on or not, we don't not get on but I only ever see him for short periods due to location.

I get on well with my brother's wife though they live a long way away so we don't see each other often. My husband's siblings I can take or leave. I don't dislike them but I doubt I'd stay in touch with any of his family if he died as we have nothing else in common.