... to ask how well you get with SILs/BILs?

[FreeAsAByrd]

Thought triggered by some recent posts. Our extended family will spend a good bit of time together over the holidays, and it is not something I especially enjoy.

-> One SIL I really don't get on with. We have very little in common, and I'm always struggling to have a conversation with her. It's just so boring (she'd probably say the same about me though!)

-> Two BIL that are very career orientated. To an extent I am too, but don't need to talk about it the whole time.

DH and his Dad really enjoy this time together, and I know how much it means to them. For me, it's often a mild form of torture :)

AIBU - YES - I get on well with SIL/BIL
AIBU - NO - I really don't get on well with SIL/BIL

My SIL is ok but we are very different people.

I do get on well with my DSis’s DH, who is really lovely (in contrast to her ex, who was abusive). He’s a lovely uncle to our DDs as well. My DH finds my DSis quite challenging sometimes, though. 🤣

I have three SILs and three BILs spread over my and dh's families. With two of my SILs I have good, civilised relationships and with the other, an almost best friend-type relationship. So much so that we often go on holiday together.

I get on fine with my bils.

SIL 1- my brothers widow. Love her like my own sister, text each other regularly and she’s still very much part of our family.

BIL 1 - my sisters husband. Love him to bits. Known him since I was 19 (I’m 42 now).

BIL 2 - DHs brother. Get on very well, lovely guy!

SIL 2 - DHs brothers partner. Get on very well, really enjoy her company!

Funnily enough, my mum is the oldest of 6 and adores all her SIL/BILs, as does my dad. Most of them all married well over 30 years so have been in my mum/dads life a very long time.

I get on with my brothers wife, ive known her since i was a teenager so she really is an extended sister
My partners sister we havent really got much in common but i could spend time with her and make conversation

I get on well with ail, on exh side I have 2 that I didn’t really have much in common it’s and wouldn’t bother me if I never see them again as since divorce we have absolutely zilch contact

I have no siblings, so no BILs/SILs on my side.

DH has a brother, who I get on reasonable well with, and a sister who I get on very well with (though I’m glad we live far apart as I really don’t like her partner). DH also has two cousins he spent a lot of time with as a child. We don’t see them much, but I adore the female cousin and her lovely husband, but the male cousin is a misogynist weirdo.

I have one SIL - husband's sister. She's amazing. We get on so well; I only wish she lived closer. She's in the USA.

My sil is not my sort of person, mainly as her partner is just not a very nice human being. All that said I have a lot of respect for who she is as a person and she has shown me some great kindnesses

SIL - We don't get on at all. She's very self-centred, obnoxious and difficult to be around. If we happen to be at the same family gathering then we'd actively avoid speaking to each other.

BIL - Isn't really my kind of person, but very sociable, jovial and not as hard work as SIL (providing you don't catch him in a bad mood, when he can behave like a tantrumming toddler). I could generally have a pleasant enough conversation with him, but if it was any more than very occasionally I'd probably struggle.

Very glad to be an only child personally!

My SiL (brother's wife) is an amazing woman and I adore her, although they live on another continent so I don't actually see them very often, sadly.

Ooh, yes and no. ExH's family are bloody hard work. I would put money on there being more than one undiagnosed personality disorder in there. Thankfully I am now NC with all but exH.

On the other hand, my BIL via my DSis is lovely, and my DPs sister and her husband are awesome. I have so much respect for all of them, and love spending time with them.

My husband's sister and her husband are both really nice and very good company. My brothers ex wife is a horrible cow and if I ever see her again it'll be too soon.

DH’s DB and I tolerate each other for DH’s sake —which I largely manage because I rarely see him— He’s self-centred, cheated on all his previous partners (don’t know about his current one but hopefully not as they’re having a baby together), wins arguments by talking over people and never comes back to his hometown to visit MIL. And doesn’t bother with DS. And grabbed my bum once.

DSis’s DH is very nice. We’ll never be close as we have so little in common but I’m always happy to see him.

My SIL is a selfish arsehole who always put her controlling and abusive partner before her children , to the point of me unoficially fostering one of them for 5 years otherwise they would of ended up in the care system
So, for that, I really cannot stand the bitch

I have loads of SIL and BIL (both from big families) and I am closer to some than others.

Never had a falling out with any if them though. We all rub along pretty well.

I find it goes with their partner. DH’a siblings are great. Dh is great. DSIL is not great. DB is also not great

My sil was like the sister I never had, sadly she passed away 2 months ago age 38 from cancer :-(

I love my SIL she's amazing, can't quite say the same about her DH who can be a bit of an arsehole at times, apparently because of his anxiety, but she's just a wonderful person.

No I think my SIL is a really decent person but we just don’t gel. Despite trying hard to make the effort I find it awkward and suspect she does too. Wish I could change that but haven’t worked out how yet.

I have 3 BIL's, 2 SIL's on my side of the family I get on with them all. I meet up with my SIL's more than I see my brothers.
DH's side I have 2 SIL's 1 lives abroad so don't see her much although she always sends dd presents throughout the year.
The other I see when I go to PIL's.

I have a mix

BIL I adore. He’s one of my closest friends. He’s like what I think a proper sibling should be like.

SIL (who is actually DH’s SIL, his late first wife’s sister) is a wonderful woman. We laugh because we have very very little in common, yet we have an absolute hoot when we’re together. She’s one of the people I could call in an emergency and know she’d be there.

My SIL’s (my brother’s wives) I used to be very close with. Especially SIL1. I’m the youngest of 4 and I’m 9.5 years younger than Bro1 and SIL1. SIL1 used to take me out shopping when I was a teen so I could have clothes that weren’t from 1970 (I lived with our grandparents). She was the big sister/aunt I shared my worries with. She lived with us briefly after my brother assaulted her. Sadly we no longer talk after she took him back and I got his ire at “interfering” in his family.
SIL2 is 8 years older than me and similarly was guiding when I was a teen. If I wanted to go to a party or anything she’d do my hair, she taught me make up. Sadly after I went NC with Bro1 he told my other siblings they had to pick and Bro2, SIL2 and my sister said it was “calmer” for everyone if they just didn’t speak to me anymore.

I got on well with DBro's first wife, not at all with the second (and they are no longer together).