Very very petty - sibling warfare/binned post

[Yesiknowhowpettythisis]

I have NC for this because it really is extraordinarily petty and I’m a little bit ashamed of myself but still want to ask the question (just not to be associated with my normal username!):

For context, my older brother is the golden child and really is a very nasty, nasty piece of work. He gets away with murder. We haven’t spoken in nearly 2 years because of a fight we had when I was heavily pregnant and he got drunk and bullied me quite badly and verbally attacked my husband. Despite this when my son was extremely ill with sepsis I reached out to him for familial support. Nothing. So I’m pretty finished with him and frankly I am furious. His girlfriend goes along with all of this.

Anyway, we used to rent the same flat they are currently in. We moved 2 years ago. Our postal redirection ran out a year ago and they have just been binning our post (Which my mother refuses to accept as he’s the golden child).

We did not change the address the car is registered to as we just didn’t realise. 100% our fault - lesson learnt. DH received a speeding ticket and due to this and the post being binned, it’s now a court summons. Which we only realised because another neighbour saw some of our post in the bloody communal bin and brought it round!!!!

I know it’s ultimately our fault but MN I hate him so much now and I just want to know if I can be the pettiest person alive and somehow get him into trouble for binning our post. Yes, I’m awful.

@Yesiknowhowpettythisis

Any catalogue suggestions welcome. You know, just in case.

Well, I once bought a single item from Lands End and they now constantly send me paper catalogues full of hideous crap, so if he enjoys binning post he'll be made up to get those. Call it an early Christmas present

@KarmaViolet

I particularly enjoy that this suggestion comes from someone with your username.

Haha, yes!

Well, I once bought a single item from Lands End and they now constantly send me paper catalogues full of hideous crap, so if he enjoys binning post he'll be made up to get those. Call it an early Christmas present

Please don't do this - it has nothing to do with Lands' End and is a waste of their time and resources.

Just be aware that now there's a court summons, the fine and points will be higher (assuming he's found guilty) than if the letter(s) with the penalty notice had been responded to at the time. Obviously this will also mean increased insurance costs.

I'd suggest you get some legal advice before going to court as pleading not guilty due to being guilty of another offence (not updating your logbook) could end up being an expensive day out if you're not careful.

Please do not cause massive wastage of paper by ordering catalogues that he will bin.

And our struggling businesses do not deserve to have their resources wasted in petty revenge wars.

I agree.

DH has pleaded guilty and is just going to pay the fine. So that’s a bit of a relief. No court…

Told my other brother about this (brother doesn’t speak to him either and hasn’t for 3 years and has filed legal action against him for other stuff) and he is flabbergasted but not about this wankery development.

I think teaming up with your other brother to discuss wankery by wanker brother will be far more life affirming than any revenge.

@EdgeOfTheSky

Yes it has definitely made me feel better to laugh with him about my mother not seeing any wrongdoing!

All your own fault.
I’d start binning someone’s post after 2 years of it too.

@Bellyups

It’s not two years though is it? It’s a year. One year was redirected. And the year he was receiving will have been just this handful of letters from the DVLA so hardly lots. But anyway it’s illegal apparently so good to know you would commit a crime due to a minor inconvenience 😬😬😬

This is your fault to be fair. You should have changed addresses, especially if you don't get on.

Omg is it my fault? Reeeaaaalllly? Is it?!? I can’t see where I might have mentioned that 10000000 times in the thread or explained why I didn’t change the address 😬😬😬😬 thank you so much for explaining its my fault I didn’t know

OP you really to let go of him, go nc and mean it. He doesn’t care, he never will. This is not messing with his head like it is with yours. Your only revenge is moving on snd leaving him in the past. Sort the mess with the log book and the ticket and then forget about it. Don’t make the rest of your life about him.

If it wasn't your brother would you be as upset?

You've had two years to sort your change of address out, so really I'd say it's your fault.

If the fines now higher than it originally was, just paying it is bad advice.

Ask to go to court and make a "statutory declaration". They'll put you under oath, you say very sorry forgot to change address, didn't receive the letter, all changed now. They might give you a small lecture on changing it or might not. Then they'll reset it to the original level, pay it, done.

As for your brother, you know what he's like, let it go, you don't need the stress!

Your husband gets a speeding ticket.
Your husband didn’t change the address on his car.
Your brother is to blame for binned post going to his house 2 YEARS later?