Page 4 | My 7 year old came home in tears today

ldontWanna · 25/11/2021 18:23

Kid in DD's class had 3 gfs at that age. No idea how HE coped. The girls were totally fine with it. 😂😂

It's all talk, maybe holding hands and playing together at that age. And sometimes makeshift marriages at playtime with flower rings, or plastic ones or that one time with deceased grandma's ring that he nicked out of his mum jewellery box. The girl wasn't happy about having to return it.

Starwind74 · 25/11/2021 18:32

I wonder if really it is just using adult language for normal childish behaviour. When my now adult daughter was that age she had a best friend ( girl) whose Mum was close friends with another girl n their class.I think this other girl was jealous and told my daughter’s friend to say she wouldn’t play with my daughter anymore, which she duly did. Is this really so different?

Cuwins · 25/11/2021 18:35

When I was at primary school in the early 90's there were 2 kids who ' got married' every year from year 1-5! It always happened at the same time of year which happened to be right by my birthday so I got to be a bridesmaid! They were certainly considered bf and gf by people from about 7 or 8. We used to play kiss chase from reception so not sure it's that different really.

WeAllHaveWings · 25/11/2021 18:36

Pretty sure I was still eating mud and being shoved down a hill in shopping trolley by my brothers at 7!

I was the same, the big difference is television. We had one screen, the family TV and 3 channels, that combined with an early bedtime and watching whatever Dad wanted to watch, Mary Whitehouse 🤣 was saving the nations morals and a strict watershed meant by age 7 we didn't see much about relationships outside of our own family so we were pretty oblivious to it all.

Now it is everywhere - in programs, adverts, games. There are parents now who were exposed to more in their own childhoods, tolerating their own children seeing more - so that is what children play. It is nothing to do with growing up faster, they are no more mentally mature, they just play games around what they are exposed to.

I am not saying go back to Mary Whitehouse's desire for complete censorship, but what we are seeing now is the outcome for our children.

Snowisfallinghere · 25/11/2021 18:39

@EarringsandLipstick

I don't think it would be kind to tell them they can't talk about marrying eachother. My son also thinks he's going to be a king and this girl is going to be queen, they're going to live in a big castle together and will have knights to protect them and there will be no cars allowed and everyone will drive around on a horse and cart... I think age 7.5 he's now starting to realise that all this is a little unrealistic but for the past two years he's really believed it will all become a reality one day. I think it would have been cruel of me to say he can't make such plans. He can't act on his plans to get married right now any more than he can start getting planning permission and hire a contractor to build his massive castle.

As long as there's no dodgy inappropriate behaviour I don't think it does any harm, apart from potential for hurt feelings when one of them decides it's time to abandon their little fantasy world of marriage and living as kings and queens in a castle etc - and I think that such disappointments are just part of growing up.

AmyDudley · 25/11/2021 18:39

I remember my cousin and I having a sad conversation when we were both seven, about the fact that we wouldn't be able to get married because we were cousins, he then said it might be possible but we'd have to ask the Pope.

What I didn't tell him was that I had already married the boy next door when we were both four - I was a fickle child.

Flubber88 · 25/11/2021 18:42

@Thingsdogetbetter

I had a boyfriend in school when i was 5 back in 1973. It's not exactly a new thing. It was just a boy I was best friends with - I don't think I realise girls and boys could be (just) friends so therefore he was labelled a 'boyfriend' instead. I got that idea from the adults around me.

He was a child model and very rich. It's been downhill from there unfortunately.

HAHA! Brilliant!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 25/11/2021 18:43

I know it's not really unusual (and I also think it's not particularly new) but I do find it weird in a not too pleasant way. I don't like when adults talk about children in that way either ("aw, they'll be getting married next", "he's such a lady's man" etc). My eldest is 9 and this doesn't seem to have been a thing for him or his peers so far.

EarringsandLipstick · 25/11/2021 18:45

@Snowisfallinghere

That's all fair enough.

I suppose I'd go along with some of it, while making it clear it is the realm of make believe.

I remember now that my youngest, when he was about 4 - 6 had a little pal who was a girl. She was very assertive! Every time we met up, she'd insist on kissing him when we met & left, and telling him she loved him. He hated it. On the one hand it was fine, we'd laugh a bit. But he was clear it was just a bit of silliness, that she was a pal really & the kissing / loving thing was not real.

But I agree, of course no need to crush his plans to be a King with his Queen in a castle. That's lovely ☺️

StaringAtLightbulbs · 25/11/2021 18:46

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Cuwins · 25/11/2021 18:48

@Cuwins

When I was at primary school in the early 90's there were 2 kids who ' got married' every year from year 1-5! It always happened at the same time of year which happened to be right by my birthday so I got to be a bridesmaid! They were certainly considered bf and gf by people from about 7 or 8. We used to play kiss chase from reception so not sure it's that different really.

Oh and this was a small catholic primary school!

lazarusb · 25/11/2021 18:51

I got married in Reception. In the classroom with our teacher present. We had a vicar, best man and bridesmaids chosen from classmates. I had a simple daisy bouquet and headdress. It was wonderful until he left me for Tracey in Year 1.

I’m over it now of course.

Quornflakegirl · 25/11/2021 18:51

My 9 year old in Y4 don’t even know this expression of cheated on or being unfaithful. They have never mentioned boyfriends or liking a boy. I feel this is quite usual among her peers too. I guess it depends on the school they’re in and what type of language and behaviour they are exposed to. Mine are in a tiny rural school.

Original poster

DigOlBick · 25/11/2021 18:51

@StaringAtLightbulbs so you think being working class is synonymous with trashy? Because before we moved here we went to a very middle class school in a very affluent area and the kids there was just like these.

OP posts:

Quornflakegirl · 25/11/2021 18:51

9 year olds I mean, I have two of them.

rainrainraincamedowndowndown · 25/11/2021 18:53

Where did she learn the expression " cheated" ? That sounds like they are exposed to something age inappropriate to me.

I would understand if she said x don't like me anymore, he likes y now or something, but cheated? jeez.

Heartofglass12345 · 25/11/2021 18:56

It really annoys me when parents mention boyfriends or girlfriends at that age, I bet they wouldn't say it if it was a same sex friend

zigzag56445 · 25/11/2021 18:56

My son came home one day when he was maybe 3 years old saying when he grew up he was going to marry A. I wasnt surprised, apparently they were joined at the hip in preschool.
But then he said "when I'm finished with her, I'm going to marry B"
Oops

Joystir59 · 25/11/2021 18:58

Gosh they are too young for such sophisticated lives.

Benjispruce5 · 25/11/2021 19:14

Last year we had one or two girls who talked about boys a lot in year 2. This year there are none. It’s certainly not the norm and I guess it depends on influences at home.

Benjispruce5 · 25/11/2021 19:16

@Cuwins that was part of the curriculum. Learning about ceremonies.

saddowizca · 25/11/2021 19:17

I seem to remember this happening at my dd's school when she was in Y5 - two of dd's friends were 'internet dating' apparently - ie sending each other texts . The craze of 'dating' didn't last long at all.
Maybe just tell your dd that its only a game and not to worry about it too much.

DeepaBeesKit · 25/11/2021 19:19

I dont think this is normal at all. It didnt happen in my class at school until much much older. My niece is 12 and there has been none of this. The primary schools where I live would absolutely not tolerate makeup being worn.

Cuwins · 25/11/2021 19:21

[quote Benjispruce5]@Cuwins that was part of the curriculum. Learning about ceremonies.[/quote]
Oh no I don't mean in class. In the playground.

Etinoxaurus · 25/11/2021 19:23

@EarringsandLipstick

It just makes me sad, she’s trying to grow up too fast.

You're the parent. She is 7. Talk to her & make it clear there are no boyfriends & girlfriends at 7, it's not possible to cheat on anyone, and she needs to focus on being 7. Shut it down.

You sound very passive @DigOlBick