My aunt doesn't want me to bring my dog to Christmas day

[onethickpony]

My Aunt has told me that she doesn't want me to bring my dog on Christmas day. There are going to be 22 of us so I can understand maybe she is worried about it being overwhelming, but my dog is very clean and well behaved and has been at most large family gatherings without issue.

Should I just respect her wishes or AIBU to push back and least ask why? Sad to think of my dog alone on xmas day (yes i am a crazy pet parent).

I hate being asked if someone can bring their dog. I say yes out of politeness then quietly seethe. I'm indifferent to dogs, don't mind them but equally don't want them in my house. DH is allergic but I don't want to worry about someone tripping over them or stepping on them, or making my hone safe or risking damage. Not that I should need to give a reason. I don't consider dogs as part of my extended family, don't send them cards, buy gifts or include them on invitations.

I love dogs, and if I was having 22 people for Christmas day I wouldn't want one bringing their dog, however well behaved they claim it to be.

YANBU to turn down the invitation and spend the day having a lovely long walk with the dog though.

I think YABU. It's up to her if she's hosting. Maybe someone who's coming is phobic or allergic to dogs. Maybe there will be several young children there in a state of excitement. And there's a difference between a family gathering, and a Christmas family gathering (especially if it's the first in two years), which is more likely to involve a lot of excitement and tension. In any case, her house, her party, her rules.

@CeeceeBloomingdale

I hate being asked if someone can bring their dog. I say yes out of politeness then quietly seethe. I'm indifferent to dogs, don't mind them but equally don't want them in my house. DH is allergic but I don't want to worry about someone tripping over them or stepping on them, or making my hone safe or risking damage. Not that I should need to give a reason. I don't consider dogs as part of my extended family, don't send them cards, buy gifts or include them on invitations.

I say yes out of politeness

You need to work on that. I would never allow a dog inside the house, no matter how 'clean' and 'well behaved' (yeah right they all say that don't they) their owners say they are. Where do people get a nerve to even think to bring a dog out with them? It's so selfish and so cheeky. It's a dog.

If you wouldn't take a cat or bird somewhere, what's the difference with a dog? They're all animals, and no, cats are not more 'independent', they feel lonely too.

I've noticed this is a big BIG thing in the UK where they won't leave a dog for a few hours at a time. I don't know wtf it's all about, but I guess dog owners don't hold down full time jobs. In my country most people can leave a dog for a day/overnight and it'll be fine. The attitude in the UK is utterly bizarre to me. So ridiculous. It's an animal. I don't drag my cats to other people's houses, so keep your dogs at home, where they belong.

Yabu. You vvv rude

Personally I would be thankful of the excuse to not go to a family gathering of 22 people, my idea of hell!

I wouldn’t leave the dog alone, not fair on the animal.

Stay at home with your lovely dog. I wouldn't want to leave him alone either (unless by some miracle you could find a dog walker)

I'd treat this as a lucky break, tbh.

Great opportunity to spend the day at home loafing on your own sofa
and eating your body weight in Quality Street.

I didn't have this luxury with my last dog. MIL and most of the rest of the family adored her, and we were always told to bring her!

The thought of people taking their cats to Christmas dinner is making me laugh!

Or the rabbit, chickens... 🤭

@SunShinesBrightly

The thought of people taking their cats to Christmas dinner is making me laugh!

Or the rabbit, chickens... 🤭

Just don't take your pet turkey hey?! Lol

@TheGirlCat you're right. I'm not normally shy but it's DH family member and I've been biting my tongue to keep the peace but really should just say something.

@Peace43

I wouldn’t go and leave dog home alone all day. My DPs live 5 mins walk away and DDog goes home over the Xmas dinner time as frackers freak him out. Can you attend for part of the day without doggo? They don’t know it’s Xmas!

That is one environmentally conscious dog hehe!

Just go for your favourite time of the day and then you have the perfect excuse to leave, unless your aunt is hours away?

My sister will be bringing her dog on Christmas Day. My dogs don’t like him, my cats are terrified of him, my sister and brother in law don’t relax, neither does the dog so they are leaping up constantly BUT he’s their baby and I would rather have them here so he’ll be coming.

Saying all of that, if your aunt has asked you not to bring your dog I’m afraid you can’t x

@DontBeCatty

The problem with asking her why you can’t bring the dog is that she might tell you and you might not like the answer

Exactly this.

The reason is going to be that the aunt doesn't like any dogs, or doesn't like OP's particular dog - OP is going to be offended. Or that she doesn't think the dog is well-behaved - OP is going to be offended. Or that it smells - OP is going to be offended.

If it’s usual to take the dog to family gatherings I can understand you querying why suddenly it’s not allowed, both sides of our family are dog lovers/owners and the dogs just go because that’s what is done and always has been. If suddenly someone said no dogs I’d be a bit.... well that came out the blue.

Similarly there’s situations we wouldn’t expect to take the dog but these people know we can only go for a couple of hours without the dog, she’s our responsibility which sometimes means we have to give up something (and I think you fully acknowledge that - but understandably think the change in attitude is weird)

And what did Aunty say when the other 22 guests asked if they could bring their dog?

@TacCat49

And what did Aunty say when the other 22 guests asked if they could bring their dog?

OMG! 🤣🤣🤣

I've noticed this is a big BIG thing in the UK where they won't leave a dog for a few hours at a time. I don't know wtf it's all about, but I guess dog owners don't hold down full time jobs. In my country most people can leave a dog for a day/overnight and it'll be fine. The attitude in the UK is utterly bizarre to me. So ridiculous. It's an animal. I don't drag my cats to other people's houses, so keep your dogs at home, where they belong

Totally agree - it is bizarre. Leaving a dog overnight isn't on but I can't see the issue with a few hours on Christmas Day.

People try to justify it by saying they couldn't have children and so their dogs are their children, but most dog owners have children as well - so people can quit with the emotional blackmail. In any event you don't get to take your kids everywhere either and if you go somewhere where they are not welcome, you get childcare. Same goes for pets if you can't leave them for a few hours.

@TacCat49

And what did Aunty say when the other 22 guests asked if they could bring their dog?

I hope Aunty has a very large house - and an even larger garden!

Her house, her rules, you chose to get a dog, not her & NEWS FLASH, not everyone thinks your dog is a great or as cute as you do, lots even hate dogs, especially around food as they can be bloody annoying

Respect the hosts wises & either suck it up, or don't go

I wouldn't want to go to an event with 22 people. An event with 22 dogs on the other hand... sign me up!

/misses point of thread

I think some posters on this thread could deal with Cesar Milan giving them a visit.

*do with

@TheGirlCat

I think some posters on this thread could deal with Cesar Milan giving them a visit.

Who?

Dogs are not clean. Yours is no exception.