using own products for teacher's christmas gift?

[UpsideDownToast]

One of the parents at school has decided to organise the christmas gifts for DDs preschool teachers. There are 5 teachers in total.
She's posted on the group WhatsApp asking for donations, "£25 each or more if you can". Then lots of excited messages about how she's "splurged" out shopping, and lots and lots of follow up messages chasing up payments because she's spent so much and is out of pocket.
DH and I stayed silent but handed over the £25 because I figured it was too much of a drama otherwise.
Another parent asked if it was £25 per teacher and the Organiser was (IMO) deliberately vague in her reply, and it looks a lot as if that parent ended up donating £125.
But theoretically if all 25 parents "only" gave £25 each, the kitty would be £600.

I've just found out what she bought the teachers - christmas baubles, a candle, some sweets and an Arbonne lipcare thing.

The Organiser is frequently flogging her small business stuff on the WhatsApp group, and I know that Arbonne is a common MLM so I'm fairly certain that she's a Arbonne rep, or a close friend is. From the value of the other items, it seems that she's earning commission on this, and that this commission is being pocketed rather than set against the kitty.

AIBU to think that putting MLM stuff that you're earning commission on in a communal gift is pretty off?

We had similar a few years back with 'Younique', the very helpful mum who arranged it even had the cheek to drop in a line about how the 'all natural products would be just perfect for a cancer survivor like Mrs X'. I declined to contribute to that one and bit my tongue listening to all the simpering about how kind this (snake) woman was

@gymbummy that is sick

I would post something saying 'thanks so much for organising. Going forward I wonder if other people would support a motion not to use companies like Arbonne which are multi level marketing? Here's a link to why they're a problem'.

@LittleGwyneth

I would post something saying 'thanks so much for organising. Going forward I wonder if other people would support a motion not to use companies like Arbonne which are multi level marketing? Here's a link to why they're a problem'.

Absolutely brilliant

I’d never heard of Arbonne, is it like expensive Avon?

@Pawprintpaper that exactly what it is, an expensive Avon. It’s been in loads of trouble in the US for false health claims; getting its reps to say it offers “immunity boosting” products, implying some sort of protection against Covid. It’s also a company that puts real pressure on downlines to purchase each money as that is how the upline gets rewarded. I’ve met loads of people who have ended up with a spare room full of hundreds or thousands of pounds worth of purchases they can’t sell. The jury is out on their greenwashing too.

*each month

Why on earth do people give teachers anything? Mine are in nursery I'm dreading school with these awful WhatsApp groups. Is there a huge benefit to joining them or is it all dreadful gossip?

I’d want to know if she spent all the money on the gifts? It doesn’t seem so…

Like I said before it needs flagging up with the management. If this isn't nipped in the bud now then next year will be worse & she'll ask for more than £25.

When DS was at primary school we used to just ask for £5 off each parent - not everyone paid, as some got their own gift (or none at all) but we normally ended up with about £120 so we got John Lewis vouchers. £75 for the teacher and £50 for the TA. The card would just be written out from the class so no shame if a parent hadn't given anything.

The SENCO in DS's school was amazing (DS has ASD / ADHD) so I used to get her £50 in vouchers myself for Christmas.

It all stops when the children get to secondary school!

The teachers will cringe to. So ott. Its the cards and wee thoughtful gifts that mean the most. No way on earth would I hand over £25 for this, no matter what you think will happen in the playground.

Of course it's cringe-making and totally inappropriate.

Also par for the course for a MLM.

And £25??? the going rate at our school - not in a deprived area by any stretch - is a fiver.

I don't opt in to group presents, I always say no we are doing our own thing

That is sometimes small box of chocolates - sometimes a tub of celebrations for all the teachers and TAs to share (I have 3DCs)

The only time I opted in was when a mum I trusted did it and said she wanted to purchase a voucher (think it was John Lewis or M&S ) for a set of teachers that had gone so far over and above all year with school class trips and extra etc people agreed as it was known beforehand what the present would be. It was £5 each- so class of 30 she somehow ended up with £410 in vouchers that were shared out (Friend said some parents quietly put more in)
No one was pressured

This mum was wrong
Let alone fact she seems to have swindled it

I'd be innocently asking - how much in total was collected? well I can see £89 of items what else are you getting?
I propose we use the rest to buy vouchers at m&s- how much is left of what you collected on classes behalf Susan? There must be about £300-400- that'll make a fabulous gift.
Oh are they the products you sell Susan? You must have got the teachers a great discount? Don't think you should buy any more of your own products... you wouldn't want it to look odd that you're buying your own stock .... let's spend rest on m&s vouchers .

She’s definitely cashing in!!

We are normally asked for £10 each which is more than reasonable - 1 teacher plus 2 TAs and they usually get an Amazon voucher (£80 each I think) plus lots of other goodies - bath stuff, chocs, Prosecco etc. I’m normally surprised at how much the woman who organises it make the money stretch tbh

£25 is ridiculous - especially given you are aware they are essentially receiving bits of tat. I’d question the cost of the gifts she has bought - maybe privately discuss it with some of the other parents

When DS was in primary, the going rate was £10 per pupil. A John Lewis voucher was purchased with a nominal gift of flowers or a bottle of wine.

The one egregious abuse of this was when one DP gave the teacher a voucher to their own restaurant with collected funds . It had been agreed on the understanding that the teacher would be treated like royalty and get a free bottle of fizz ( restaurant was expensive so the voucher only covered a basic meal for two). Of course this didn't happen leaving bad feeling all round.

Vouchers are the best way to go.

She’s definitely cashing in!!

Only if other people let her
I realise there's the context of the woman having an "attitude" and OP suffering bullying in the past, but IME these types don't get any better while being enabled

Not sure it being nursery/primary/whatever makes any difference either; consumed with the MLM thing, the CF would probably do just the same in an old folks' home. There's a strange madness which seems to descend on them with social norms going out of the window, so the only thing to do until they come out the other side is avoid

@DomPom47

I would speak to the Head and ask that something be said about parents and collections especially at £25. For me personally this is way too high and if you have more than one child it all adds up.

I think that's a great idea