using own products for teacher's christmas gift?

[UpsideDownToast]

One of the parents at school has decided to organise the christmas gifts for DDs preschool teachers. There are 5 teachers in total.
She's posted on the group WhatsApp asking for donations, "£25 each or more if you can". Then lots of excited messages about how she's "splurged" out shopping, and lots and lots of follow up messages chasing up payments because she's spent so much and is out of pocket.
DH and I stayed silent but handed over the £25 because I figured it was too much of a drama otherwise.
Another parent asked if it was £25 per teacher and the Organiser was (IMO) deliberately vague in her reply, and it looks a lot as if that parent ended up donating £125.
But theoretically if all 25 parents "only" gave £25 each, the kitty would be £600.

I've just found out what she bought the teachers - christmas baubles, a candle, some sweets and an Arbonne lipcare thing.

The Organiser is frequently flogging her small business stuff on the WhatsApp group, and I know that Arbonne is a common MLM so I'm fairly certain that she's a Arbonne rep, or a close friend is. From the value of the other items, it seems that she's earning commission on this, and that this commission is being pocketed rather than set against the kitty.

AIBU to think that putting MLM stuff that you're earning commission on in a communal gift is pretty off?

I would chalk it up to experience. You could be in a situation where you have to do school playground drop offs/pickups for years with this woman nearby. Worse, your kid could become friends with her kid.

I am bloody glad mine are out of primary. Most people are nice but the small minority of cheeky fuckers and outright bullies make things difficult for lots of other parents. No way would I get on the wrong side of one of those horrible cows. That's why I wouldn't challenge her now - I'd just know for next time that she's lining her own pockets by selling MLM to the kitty and be ready with an excuse such as "thanks for the offer but we have already bought our own stuff for teacher"

@Ionlydomassiveones the HT with whom I discussed MLM presence in the school was very concerned from a data protection perspective and also because the school was being used as a shop floor; catalogues outside the school office, goods handed over during school events etc, recruitment attempts on WhatsApp parents groups etc etc (which wasn’t the reason people had shared their numbers). I agree with you, tackle this woman directly and call her out for her dishonesty and deal with it now but I still think I’d want to know if MLM was doing the rounds and causing problems like this in a school I was in charge of.

lonlydomassiveones
If school is being used as a hunting ground by MLM bots then a head might care. MLMs are inherently predatory, target women (often women with young children by targeting any mum guilt they have), and also see to flog their overpriced crap to mums.

It's bad enough at the best of times, but if there's a lot of women who are vulnerable then school should be a safe place, not somewhere for bots to groom them for initiation into their latest cult.

If the head is aware they can decide if action is needed or if a policy needs drawing up regarding parental businesses on site/teacher gifts

I am utterly stunned that 30 parents handed over £25 each for teacher gifts!

I'm too shocked at the £25 each to even recognise the MLM shite.

Off topic but find it hilarious that it’s 1% voting YABU - that’s about how many people make money out of shit show MLMs like Arbonne (misses the point)

Er, I voted YABU and I have never sold anything since I worked at Woolworths in the 1970s.

£25 is insane and should never be demanded. Making a profit from it is completely unethical.

Round here a message goes out early asking for donations, there is no suggestion of amount made. AFAIK people put in between about £5 and £20 depending on their circs, but this can be done anonymously on Paypal, or slipped into the organiser's hand (in a blank envelope if you wish). Only once the deadline has passed does the organiser go and buy gifts with the money they have been given, so there is no 'chasing up' or demands.

One of the mothers who organises has access to some nice products due to her job (not MLM!), but this is only part of the final gift and is provided at cost. The organiser provides everyone with a summary of what has been bought and what the total sum was, sometimes a breakdown too.

Gifts are usually a voucher for whatever they're interested in, plus champagne, flowers, good chocolates, and maybe a nice candle/travel mug or something.

Everyone on this thread seems to think that everyone in the group handed over £25, which 100% did not happen.

There are very few actual close friends of mine I'd spend £25 on at Christmas. So yeah, I'm another one who's also doubtful everyone in the group gave the full £25.

For this year, what's done is done, but I'd be insisting to see receipts, and for the love of God don't let her arrange presents ever again!

@DrierThanANunsNasty

Off topic but find it hilarious that it’s 1% voting YABU - that’s about how many people make money out of shit show MLMs like Arbonne (misses the point)

Not that off topic and a relevant point @DrierThanANunsNasty because it’s the fact it’s so hard to make money in MLM and so easy to haemorrhage money once wrapped up in MLM that leads to behaviour like this and an ability to set aside any notion of appropriate conduct, in a desperate struggle to not slip into more debt.

Asking for £25 is all about hitting her volume targets and there won’t have been much thought about whether it’s fair or reasonable to extort this sort of amount. Hopefully most parents will have just ignored it but some will be more easily guilted into it. It’s probably an instruction from her upline to take charge of this - I’ve seen the “training manual” for Arbonne and this is all written down as a legitimate way “to grow your business” with the upline benefitting as well from her purchases with other people’s money. Suddenly it becomes OK to manipulate situations for own gain. It’s why MLM needs stamping out, especially in the school environment where it so often appears because women are targeted by MLM with promises of flexible working and unlimited earning potential.

It's like Motherland isn't fiction...

I voted YABU for handing over £25 in the first place. Utterly ridiculous, frankly.

That is awful. Why not choose your own gift instead of going in with this group? The woman is making a profit of you all and the stuff is probably cheap because of the huge mark up.

not surprising. A member if our parent council is encouraging people to buy bodysuit products from her to raise money for school funds. The funds go towards paying for xmas treats for the kids and coach rides to take them to the pantomime. She conveniently fails to acknowledge that she will be earning commission which she will pocket. I'd rather they just asked for a £5 each for the coach fare.

At Xmas my kids teacher will get a card and box of chocolates should covid allow, if not a contribution to school fund.

*body shop

Post on the chat "lovely, nice to have something to unwrap as well. What vouchers did you get with rest?"

Wow what a CF she is. Next year as soon as she asks for donations just say you've organised your own gift this year.

The poor teacher opening it is going to be like..oh no not MLM crap again

organise the christmas gifts for DDs preschool teachers. There are 5 teachers in total.

Wait, this is for PRESCHOOL?!?

This is absolute madness, I seriously can’t believe shit like this happens in some parts of the country. There’s no way I’d ever hand over £25 to another parent for a teacher’s present. If I wanted to buy them one, I’d just do it and it definitely wouldn’t cost that much!

Yes, the CF has pocketed the money and you should all be challenging her. I don’t know why you’re all being so placid.

It's too late for this time, but next time just politely say "we've decided to get our own gift this time, but thank you for asking". And leave them to it

That's an obscene amount of money to be asking people for, especially if she's not being transparent about how it's getting spent.

I'd l discreetly notify the headteacher that some parents are running a mafia type christmas operation. Something similar happened at my dd's school and the, head stepped in. A letter went out and people were urged not to donate but if they did then only what they could afford. The class PTA reps were tasked to manage the collection. This way the MLM mafia couldn't get a stranglehold on the parents. It is an extortion racket using mainly SAHMS to boost their profits.

@Giveaschitt

organise the christmas gifts for DDs preschool teachers. There are 5 teachers in total.

Wait, this is for PRESCHOOL?!?

Whoa!! I totally missed that! Just get them a tub if celebrations.