Feeling judged for cosleeping

[Blueberry12345]

11 months in with breastfed baby and we bed share, DH is in the spare room.

I've stopped mentioning this to anyone because I feel utterly judged by this by other mums.

I'm a FTM and have to admit that I never thought I would be the type to bedshare but here we are. I can understand those without kids judging maybe but other mums?!

It feels as though if my baby sleeps well, it doesn't 'count' because DC is not in own bed.

AIBU to think that there is a real stigma attached to this? It feels totally natural to me to have baby close and we all get more sleep. I love cuddling up at night and don't feel like I'm ruining DC by doing this!

We are considering getting a bigger bed so DH could maybe come back in with us 🤣 also any tips for bed sharing when a baby crawls?

@PinkWednesdays

What do you mean by bed share? Do you just sleep in the same bed or is there a certain position you sleep in?

I am so so sleep deprived with my 7 month old, and recently I’ve started to bring him into my bed when I can’t settle him during the night. He still wakes up but I’m wondering if there are any tips on making it a more regular thing so I can get some sleep!

The Lullaby Trust have some good safer co-sleeping tips and advice.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

@mycatisannoying

It can't be great for a marriage, no matter what anyone says.

It’s a hell of a lot better for a marriage than sleep deprivation is

I just rolled over and cuddled my 19 month old who is snuggled up under the duvet next to me.

Completely normal, I couldn’t relax when my baby wasn’t near me. He did start off in the crib but he would wake around 5am to come into the bed and it just sort of progressed from there. He would get very upset if I turfed him out now.

My dfriend co-slept with her ds until he was 11. By the end she was a little worried that he would never want to go in his own room but I remember laughing and telling her to enjoy it while it lasts as there isn’t a teenager in the world who wants to be that close to their dm. He grew out of it soon after and is now a very well-adjusted adult male.

You do you op, people will judge whatever.

My 'baby' is 21 months and we still co share and breastfeed for naps and sleep and doubt we will be stopping any day soon. Don't worry about other people just do what works for your family.

I think it depends on the people you are spending time with to an extent.

One of mine was a terrible sleeper and woke at the slightest movement or noise, yet people looked at me in horror when I said we put her in her own room bang on 6 months! "Oh I could NEVER make mine sleep alone yet, I enjoy being close to them"

It's about what is best for your baby. Mine slept better alone, yours sleeps better with cuddles so if you are happy keep on exactly as you are.

People base their reaction on what they did.

Sleep and how you manage it with a new baby, takes on epic proportions of importance.

I had dc 1 & 2 in their own room at 6 months. I co slept with no.3. So much easier and lovelier.

I should point out that he's 7 and is still in our bed

@mycatisannoying

It can't be great for a marriage, no matter what anyone says.

‘….no matter what anyone says’?

So, you’ve proclaimed on this, and having done so, you want to make it clear that no one else’s view matters. Whatever they say - it just doesn’t matter.

I mean, you need to get involved in more threads. It might be the death of MN, but it’ll save us all a lot of time.