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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I was embarrassingly underdressed

276 replies

Peridotty · 19/11/2021 16:18

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead.
Do you think you would be cringing ?

OP posts:
MistyGreenAndBlue · 19/11/2021 21:50

[quote Peridotty]@Chickychoccyegg the problem is that I really don’t own much in between jeans and suit. I don’t go out to nice places, I live in scrubs every day. I only own 1 dress, 2 jumpers and 3 pairs of jeans.[/quote]
Well unless the dress was a sequinned, split to the thigh job I'd have gone with that. Grin

Samedaysameshit · 19/11/2021 21:54

Ah look I’m guessing you are quite young.
This is one of those things you will be more likely to get right as you are more experienced in the shite world of corporate work.
I wouldn’t worry about it and if anyone tries to make you feel bad take them to one side and whisper in their ear something about fucking off to the dark side of the moon.

Kite22 · 19/11/2021 21:54

I'm still baffled that you knew how people dressed for the last few years but you chose to take the "dress nice" from another student.

Essentially: "Oh everyone last year wore suits and I wore a dress for the fancy uni photo but Paul said 'dress nice' so I'll wear a jumper jeans and old trainers".

I mean??? You're either missing an accountability chip or a critical thinking chip. I don't know which.

This ^
It is irrelevant what anyone might interpret the reminder text from the fellow student as, as the OP was aware FROM BEING THERE LAST YEAR what the dress code was, and managed it last year, but chose to turn up in scruffy old trainers and a jumper and jeans this year.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 19/11/2021 21:58

There is no situation in which I would read "dress nice" and think suit, so I do sympathise. Clean, unripped jeans and a jumper that wasn't literally growing its own cultures would've been considered "nice", bordering on "smart" when I was a grad student too Grin

foreverandalways · 19/11/2021 22:07

You could have rented something for the day for a relatively cheap cost...no effort on your part and no excuse

Svalberg · 19/11/2021 22:09

@LowlandLucky

Think it is time you invested in a pair of black trouser, a dark top and a light top. What on earth do you wear to funerals ? Time to have a few grown up items in your wardrobe.
Christ almighty, I didn't go to a funeral until I was in my mid 30s, there was no way as a grad that I had the money to splash out on outfits "just in case" And even now, I wear black jeans and a coat to cover everything. What she wore sounds fine - not everyone has the money (or inclination) to splash out for things that aren't worn every day.
ElephantandGrasshopper · 19/11/2021 22:10

Don't worry about it, I probably would have done the same thing when I was a student
Actually I probably would have worn a smelly tie dye jumper that I bought at a festival and some fairy wings or something like that Blush.

Shallwegoforawalk · 19/11/2021 22:21

[quote Peridotty]@UniBallEye I am a graduate student at a very prestigious university think Oxford/ Cambridge type and an annual Christmas photo is always taken in front of nice buildings and then sent to everyone as a Christmas card, pinned on fridges etc.[/quote]
Well if you knew this, did you not think to check out some previous photos as a guide to what to wear? If it's a tradition surely you knew what's expected?

Yes I'd be cringing, sorry. You made a mistake but I bet you won't make it again!

Goldwhisper · 19/11/2021 22:26

Don’t beat yourself up about it! It’s done now

BigFatLiar · 19/11/2021 22:27

If I was your supervisor I wouldn't be impressed however you've got lots of time to make even worse mistakes.

Cosyblankets · 19/11/2021 22:36

Really not sure which bit you didn't understand.
The way you are dressed is perfectly fine for going to the supermarket etc but when you've been asked to dress nicely, not nice, and you turn up in trainers I have to wonder about your idea of dressing nicely. Personally I think the trainers are far worse than the jumper

Moonwatcher1234 · 19/11/2021 22:37

Could have been worse…could have been overdressed. A girl in my kids school got the mufti day wrong this week and turned up in a huge flowy hot pink dress. Felt so sad for her as she realised her mistake at the school gate. To make matters worse, it was the day of her class play and the pictures sent out showed her in this ensemble amongst all her uniform clad peers. Tbh, I thought it was a bit unkind of the school and they could have popped her into one of the millions of uniforms in the lost property box but there you are.

SandraOhh · 19/11/2021 22:40

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Dixiechickonhols · 19/11/2021 22:42

I wouldn’t have guessed you are British I was wondering if you’d misjudged from being from a different country. Dress nice isn’t something someone would usually say grammatically. Did he mean wear a nice dress?
You look fine but for going to park with baby or running errands.
It’s a minor thing but you’ll never forget it and always check dress code from now on. So perhaps a good thing. If in doubt err on side of smarter.
If you haven’t got appropriate clothes buy some. Charity shops, eBay or vinted if you haven’t got a lot to spend.

QueenOfDuisburg · 19/11/2021 22:46

I did similar when I graduated (quite a while ago now). It wasn't even on my radar that everyone was going to dress really smartly under their gowns... Cue me turning up with my ripped jeans and some tatty old vest top with a band's name on the front.

Still think about it almost 20 years later, although it was very much me at the time so I've made peace with it!

AlmostAlwyn · 19/11/2021 22:46

Honestly, some people on this thread! Total overreaction to something that really doesn't matter.

"You did you. If you want that to be who you are remembered as, go for it." Hmm Really? Do you remember every person who you went to school/university with and what they wore?

"if I was your supervisor, I wouldn't be impressed"?! Why? It was for no official occasion whatsoever! Just a family card!

You look absolutely fine to me, OP. Yes, dressed differently from the others, but I was expecting much worse from the thread title!

I've been there. I was invited by my MIL to a concert some years ago. I also don't own many clothes so dressed similarly to you. Everyone else was done up to the nines like it was a gala or something. I felt a bit awkward but ultimately, it didn't matter Smile

2021s · 19/11/2021 22:55

Everyone in those photos will only be caring about how they look themselves. No one will be thinking about you

TokyoTen · 19/11/2021 22:57

Don't beat yourself up OP! At the end of the day you were covered and there. Enjoy doing Masters - I wish I was back at Uni too.

DameFanny · 19/11/2021 23:05

Nice jumper

Depressing though that so many people's idea of 'nice' is the kind of plastic all-sizes-fit-none suit/dress that make you look like you want to process insurance forms for a living

ddl1 · 19/11/2021 23:09

I really like the jumper now that I've seen it! I got the impression from your original post that you were on the borderline of scruffy, but you look good in that picture: smart-casual, not smart-smart, but I would find a corporate suit much more off-putting at that sort of party. Maybe it is a cultural difference!

shinynewapple21 · 19/11/2021 23:19

@Peridotty

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead. Do you think you would be cringing ?

It happened, it's in the past now, move on. No point in worrying . Next time if you aren't sure ask a couple of your colleagues what they plan to wear .

SweeneyToddler · 19/11/2021 23:23

[quote Thingstodotoday]@UniBallEye and if I were your boss I wouldn’t be impressed by your lack of reading comprehension…[/quote]
Irony.

Svalberg · 19/11/2021 23:41

@ddl1

I really like the jumper now that I've seen it! I got the impression from your original post that you were on the borderline of scruffy, but you look good in that picture: smart-casual, not smart-smart, but I would find a corporate suit much more off-putting at that sort of party. Maybe it is a cultural difference!
Yes, nothing wrong with that, especially for the occasion. Possibly not the right thing for a black tie do but it wasn't one. The jeans are far better than the ones that I wear for work. I've turned up to Christmas dos in far more casual outfits than that.
MissTrip82 · 20/11/2021 02:15

Ooh yes I’m always surprised at how corporate US medical students look on twitter. I think every day of med school is a job interview from their perspective.

Never mind, it’s done now and it’ll make a good a story in years to come.

Loving the wardrobe advice from posters who’ve clearly read an article about how to put together a ‘capsule wardrobe’ from M&S 😂😂😂😂 a ‘sophisticated’ top and at least two dresses suitable for a funeral 😂😂😂😂

lousanne · 20/11/2021 03:22

I was imagining them looking at me and thinking why was I not dressed nice!

So you know what you wore is 'not dressed nice' but you knew the memo is to 'dress nice'.

You own one dress so why didn't you wear that?

Nevertheless, it's not the end of the world OP Grin