I was embarrassingly underdressed

[Peridotty]

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead.
Do you think you would be cringing ?

@badger2005

honestly, guys, chill! why are you making the op feel bad about a thing that is really not important? this isn't an ethical issue - it's just about image, and the op obviously showed up for the photo shoot in the right place at the right time, and was not naked or wearing anything offensive! i think that's plenty good enough. why are we giving her a hard time?

Well said badger2005. It's a class photo, not even a graduation one. The problem with words like 'nice' is that they mean different things to different people. You look fine in the photo you sent.

If you don't have a black dress, I would recommend you get one. They're very useful and can be accessorised with a scarf, jewelery, shrug, etc. Wear with boots or shoes...

Why did you wear and old jumper and pumps when you were told to dress nicely. I’m not surprised you’re embarrassed.

Your outfit in the pic is actually rather smart. I'm disappointed. Can you show up for something else wearing something properly bonkers and post it here please.

Can't believe all the wanky comments on this thread, it's just for a photo on a card. So much judgement here..I think you're brilliant OP doing a Masters and parenting a small child. Clothes are just there to keep you warm after all.xx

@badger2005

honestly, guys, chill! why are you making the op feel bad about a thing that is really not important? this isn't an ethical issue - it's just about image, and the op obviously showed up for the photo shoot in the right place at the right time, and was not naked or wearing anything offensive! i think that's plenty good enough. why are we giving her a hard time?

Well said, badger!

sorry, OP. That picture is not of someone dressing festive or nice. Neither of these. You dropped the ball here.

On the other hand, who gives a shiny shit? You read the room wrong. You failed to remember prior years. So what? You did you. If you want that to be who you are remembered as, go for it. If you don't really care what others think, go for that. You certainly will stand out as the poorly dressed Brit. That might be what you're going for?

If you do care - and you must, or else you would not have posted here, then you might want to buy a couple of outfits that give you more options. They can be cheap and drab, used or new, but they give you choices. There is a lot of room between a wrinkled dress and a formal suit. The outfit you chose is not going to do you any favors if you are entering the workforce. It does not qualify as 'work casual' or 'smart casual' but it is fine for home sloppy.

Clothes maketh the man is bullshit, but they certainly maketh an impression. You need to decide what that is for you.

sorry, meant to add: am in the US so reflections from a US employee/employer perspective.

@SummerHouse

Oh, what is a graduate student? I read that to be work placement type thing.

Whhhhaaaat?! 🤣

@2018SoFarSoGreat

sorry, meant to add: am in the US so reflections from a US employee/employer perspective.

That's the thing, this varies so much from country to country, doesn't it.

I work for the top company in my field globally, and OP's outfit would be a slight overdress on a day to day basis. Just about right for a Christmas photo.

It's a quite 'posh' establishment, huge tradition and cultural importance in this country, but people simply don't bother when it comes to clothes, hair and make up for their jobs.

I've also moved around a fair bit and it's a struggle to learn what is deemed acceptable and what isn't in each country.

what colour jeans?

you stood out that is for sure

you should have checked with others as to what the dress code was

but be positive about it,
you will be noticeable!

If it makes you feel better I missed my end of year graduation photo because I was too busy heading to the free buffet :( Maybe it will make you look like the nonchalant cool older student.

You look absolute fine in that photo, OP. I was picturing a proper student jumper.

Not sure why you’re getting so much scolding – you wore a jumper in a photo, not slept with all the posters husbands.

I wouldn't worry about it tbh. This photo will be totally forgotten in a couple of weeks time, and in the future, if your family look at it, they will see your lovely face and not think anything of what you were wearing. You sound like a lovely person, and that is really what matters.

@chaosmaker

Can't believe all the wanky comments on this thread, it's just for a photo on a card. So much judgement here..I think you're brilliant OP doing a Masters and parenting a small child. Clothes are just there to keep you warm after all.xx

Totally agree with this!

The photo looks fine, you can't tell they were jeans. No need to overthink now, but definitely have at least one or two smart/casual outfits that fit between that and a suit for future.

So everyone else understood the dress code but not you!

No one will ever look at the photos again so I wouldn't worry about it! I'd think you're an absolute hero for wearing casuals anyway!

Wear your sackcloth and ashes next year

I really wouldn't worry. I doubt anyone will even notice that you're dressed more casually. If there is a group photo, I guarantee that everyone will be analysing themselves in the photo and will barely notice other people's clothes.

😆 You attend a prestigious uni & interpreted 'nice clothes ' as your jeans & jumper?! Brilliant! I can't wait to hear what you'll wear when you graduate & have more photo's taken. A onesie maybe?? 🤣

@mathanxiety

Your outfit looked ok except for the Converse shoes

I do think American versions of 'nice' tend to be more formal/ smart looking than British ideas of what this means. However, the Converse wouldn't be ' nice' in any language.

However,, you need more clothes.

You haven't 'bought what you need' if you only own what you've described - nothing between jeans and a suit.

You could easily buy a nice black blouse to go with those jeans, and a pair of black boots or patent ballet flats to dress up the jeans. You could also buy a necklace that would be visible in a photo. Or buy a pair of smart black trousers - cigarette length works for summer and winter - plus a blouse or sophisticated top in black, white, grey, or burgundy, and put a pair of ankle boots under, maybe in suede.

You need to up your sartorial game. You won't need to buy stacks of clothes, but you need to venture into smart territory. The colour black is your friend here.

Agree. A black maxi dress can cover most occasions depending on accessories and footwear. Look at used marketplaces online for affordable.