I was embarrassingly underdressed

[Peridotty]

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead.
Do you think you would be cringing ?

Just noticed the photo.OP, your jumper is a bit shite,but really you are making a mountain of a molehill.just because a few people dressed in black,navy,brown,burgundy(i would only go to a funeral in these colours)clothes,does not mean you were inappropriately dressed.forget the whole banal thing.Most people dress very unimaginative and boring in Britain.You go to the continent and you will notice how differently(much more colourful,cheerful) people dress.I suppose,Britain is in a rather dire,depressing state.

@Cowpad

Just noticed the photo.OP, your jumper is a bit shite,but really you are making a mountain of a molehill.just because a few people dressed in black,navy,brown,burgundy(i would only go to a funeral in these colours)clothes,does not mean you were inappropriately dressed.forget the whole banal thing.Most people dress very unimaginative and boring in Britain.You go to the continent and you will notice how differently(much more colourful,cheerful) people dress.I suppose,Britain is in a rather dire,depressing state.

Did you also not notice that the OP is not actually in Britain?

I'm sorry to have to agree with most of the people on here - there is no way jeans jumper and converse is dress nice. And surely after having graduated you are old enough to realise that? Quite honestly I would probably have bought something to wear or worn my suit with a sparkly scarf or something to 'festive-ise' it. Christmas doesn't mean scruffy.

@Cowpad

Just noticed the photo.OP, your jumper is a bit shite,but really you are making a mountain of a molehill.just because a few people dressed in black,navy,brown,burgundy(i would only go to a funeral in these colours)clothes,does not mean you were inappropriately dressed.forget the whole banal thing.Most people dress very unimaginative and boring in Britain.You go to the continent and you will notice how differently(much more colourful,cheerful) people dress.I suppose,Britain is in a rather dire,depressing state.

I used to live in Paris and it was rare anyone wore anything except black or navy!

Yes,but it would be stylish,not the frumpy boring stuff(eg.Boris Johnson's clothing🤮)

@Cowpad

Just noticed the photo.OP, your jumper is a bit shite,but really you are making a mountain of a molehill.just because a few people dressed in black,navy,brown,burgundy(i would only go to a funeral in these colours)clothes,does not mean you were inappropriately dressed.forget the whole banal thing.Most people dress very unimaginative and boring in Britain.You go to the continent and you will notice how differently(much more colourful,cheerful) people dress.I suppose,Britain is in a rather dire,depressing state.

I actually find the total opposite. British people in my experience tend to be much more colourful and experimental with their clothes, whereas when I’ve been other places they’re much more uniform/bland.

@Cowpad

Yes,but it would be stylish,not the frumpy boring stuff(eg.Boris Johnson's clothing🤮)

Well… I’m not sure about this. I’ve lived in London, Madrid, Valencia, Milan, Paris and Barcelona. All have a complete mix of fashion choices. Some people of any nationality are stylish, some aren’t. Some people have different ideas of what constitutes ‘style’ to others.

@Cowpad the OP is in the USA!!

at the defence of American culture.

I mean, one could come over all pedantic and wonder if, "Dress nice" was intended to mean, "Dress nicely". Or if the issuer of the imperative had said, 'Please,' nicely.

[quote Shallwegoforawalk]@Cowpad the OP is in the USA!! [/quote]
Clearly out of step, wherever she is.

This puts you in a really small percentage of the population that can afford both decent fabrics and tailoring. The OP certainly isn't in that percentage right now, and to get that sort of fabric and fit would need to go into debt and take time out from uni and motherhood to arrange.

It does not, @DameFanny.

Nordstrom Rack is an off price retailer selling 'nice' clothes and other stuff. I bought DS his graduation suit off the rack for just over $100 and tailoring cost about $20. It was his graduation gift from me.

And you are simply making up the bit about going into debt.
The OP has not said she is skint, just that she couldn't be bothered ironing a dress, doesn't keep up with fashion, and got rid of almost all her clothes over the last few years thanks to moving country more than once, but has given no thought to buying a useful range of clothes, for reasons that are hard to understand.

Suits for men are a heck of a lot more expensive than decent clothes for women. I bought DD1 a dress for graduation that cost $14.99. The school's dress code stated midi or full length white dresses should be worn. I made DD2's long white dress, and also DD3's. I bought DD4 a dress for under $20 and took it in with two very rough darts at the bust. I have no dressmaking training. The whole lot cost what DS's suit cost.

There is nothing whatsoever stopping the OP from going online and ordering a decent dress in black in some non-iron fabric, which would be acceptable for any occasion. A straight up and down fit wouldn't require tailoring. She could get a pair of plain black shoes to go with that. There will be sales coming up to Christmas and afterwards.

Not having appropriate clothing for a formal event is culturally tone deaf in the US, a place where you are expected to put your sartorial best foot forward, and where formal occasions are treated as such.

It's important in the US to not be that new mother who can't keep all the plates in the air at once

Motherhood doesn't render you incompetent, and women are not the victims of our hormones.

If the OP can arrange childcare, parent her baby, turn up for her classes/practicals/labs on time in clean scrubs and appropriate footwear, then she can crank up her computer one evening and order herself an affordable, wear-anywhere black dress.

And also, @DameFanny, you are talking about formal wear, whereas the instruction stipulated 'nice'.

Formal wear is what you wear to the opera, to a wedding in a swanky location, etc.

'Nice' is what you wear for a photo with your class, to meet some visiting dignitary.

I think the Op was under the impression clothes are not important and has been embarrassed by the fact that they are in many circumstances.

Perhaps she could consider a personal shopping experience or talking to a sales assistant at one of the big department stores. They often hold items out the back that are being reduced and are really helpful if you tell them your circumstances.

Seen update you are in America and are British. You’ll be able to laugh it off as a misunderstanding. Live and learn no big deal. In future double check and in in doubt err on side of caution.
Agree buying a few items that work in most situations a good idea. TJ Maxx, Ross, or outlet stores. A black dress, smart black shoes are good for many occasions then if you have a last minute funeral or formal event you aren’t scrabbling around.

The trousers are ok, I would've worn them with heeled ankle boots but no woollies on top. Light jumper with a jacket, you say you owned a suit so you could've worn the jacket. I interpret nice as in Office wear, definitely no trainers and no cute woollies and I am not American. Time to diversify to wardrobe a little OP.

" I bought DD1 a dress for graduation that cost $14.99. The school's dress code stated midi or full length white dresses should be worn. I made DD2's long white dress, and also DD3's. I bought DD4 a dress for under $20 and took it in with two very rough darts at the bust. I have no dressmaking training. The whole lot cost what DS's suit cost.

There is nothing whatsoever stopping the OP from going online and ordering a decent dress in black in some non-iron fabric,"

You're telling me that all the clothes you've described here aren't majority polyester (especially the no iron) sewn for slave wages and leaving micro plastics for your grandchildren to choke on? You're not making the point you think you are @mathanxiety

You're telling me that all the clothes you've described here aren't majority polyester (especially the no iron) sewn for slave wages and leaving micro plastics for your grandchildren to choke on? You're not making the point you think you are @mathanxiety

Clearly you know nothing about the many discount clothing options available in the US, @DameFanny.

The OP could go to Marshall, TJMaxx, Burlington, Nordstrom Rack, many factory outlets (Express, Gap, etc), discount malls, and also Goodwill or a Salvation Army shop for second hand clothes (where incidentally I buy pretty much everything I wear).

The suit I bought for my DS was fine wool.
DD1's dress was cotton - God knows how much damage to the environment involved there... I don't know how much it would have cost when it first hit the shops. I bought it at a discounter.
DD2's dress, made at slave wages (by me) was 100% polyester and it draped really nicely.
DD3's dress was fine linen, again made by me. Cost, about $20 (DD is quite petite)
DD4's dress was a poly cotton mix that hangs to dry. She has worn it a lot since I bought it, at the same discounter where I got DD1's dress, for very little. I think it was about $19.99, and with tax came to approx $21.99.

You're very disapproving of polyester, so I assume you yourself live in a bubble, pretty much naked? Wash your clothes in rainwater lovingly collected in a wooden barrel? No plastics whatsoever in your wattle and daub home? Carefully sourced artisan electricity powering whatever device you're using to post here?

I used to work for almost slave wages myself, certainly not a living wage by any stretch of the imagination. I still have to dress myself and my children appropriately for certain events in their lives..

I've stopped buying polyester and acrylic yes. Exaggeration for effect isn't as effective now it's used by every rogue and fool out there

You're telling me that all the clothes you've described here aren't majority polyester (especially the no iron) sewn for slave wages and leaving micro plastics for your grandchildren to choke on?

Coming from the author of this gem, that's rather funny.

There's no exaggeration. Polyester and acrylic don't biodegrade. Plastic fabrics turn into micro plastics and are already turning up in your sea salt grinder and your children's lungs

www.plasticsoupfoundation.org/en/2021/03/the-invisible-threat-microplastics-from-your-clothes/

www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/article/microplastics-found-90-percent-table-salt-sea-salt

www.google.com/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/2264585-microplastics-found-across-the-arctic-may-be-fibres-from-laundry/amp/

If you buy a dress for 15 dollars the person sewing it didn't get paid anything approaching a living wage. Cheap clothes are cheap because someone else - usually a woman - is paying a price in unrewarded labour for you.

cleanclothes.org/poverty-wages

labourbehindthelabel.org/get-involved/learn/

Ahh, the photo is nowhere near as bad as you made out! I imagined a stained hoodie with Metallica or Winnie the pooh on the front . Your jeans could pass as black work trousers.

Bloody hell, why the pile-on? Anyone would think the OP had gone dressed for Halloween or something. It's a class photo, she was slightly underdressed, at most it's mildly embarrassing for five minutes. I'm impressed by everyone here being so perfect and never getting anything slightly wrong, especially if they have small children.

It wasn't too bad just depends on what the others were wearing. A bit like turning up to a posh wedding wearing nice jeans and top while everyone else is in their best. Not scruffy just out of sync.

(P.S. I'd rather a friend turned up looking a little 'out of sync' than not turn up at all, your class probably feel the same)

It sounds like you did look nice, OP just not formal! I wouldn’t worry tbh in a years time you won’t give a shit