Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I was embarrassingly underdressed

276 replies

Peridotty · 19/11/2021 16:18

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead.
Do you think you would be cringing ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 17:58

@KickAssAngel yes a guy in the class told everyone to dress nice because it was going to end up on some family member’s fridge. So everyone dressed up really nicely except for me(I interpreted ‘nice’ wrong).

OP posts:
Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 17:59

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz it wasn’t Christmassy, it was just a nice chunky knit white jumper.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 19/11/2021 18:01

So it wasn't an official memo re. dress code... Quite a drip feed there, op, announcing it was just random worried about the aesthetics of his Mummy's fridge Grin
I think you're pulling our legs.

badger2005 · 19/11/2021 18:01

Are you smiling in the photo? Have you been enjoying the course and met some people you like? If so, then I think it's a big win, and who cares if your clothes didn't match the rest of the group.

beastlyslumber · 19/11/2021 18:01

Your jumper sounds lovely. I wouldn't worry about it. Pretend you did it on purpose because you're an individual with your own sense of style Grin I doubt anyone will care. Most people are only interested in what they look like in photos - if you looked scruffy maybe that made them look smarter so they'll be pleased with that!

Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 18:06

@GreyhoundG1rl yes it was from him not the university but all the teachers also dressed very formally.

OP posts:
nordica · 19/11/2021 18:07

If you had the same photo taken last year then didn't you know how everyone usually dresses?

Saying that, I don't think anyone will care much though so I wouldn't worry about it. It's done now anyway but you'll know for next year if there's another photo.

Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 18:08

@GreyhoundG1rl the guy was just reminding everyone to dress nicely for the benefit for the first years. I am a second year. I think there is no official dress code but in all the years past people have been dressing in suits or black/ burgundy/ grey and navy.

OP posts:
SudokuWillNotSaveYou · 19/11/2021 18:09

@GreyhoundG1rl

So it wasn't an official memo re. dress code... Quite a drip feed there, op, announcing it was just random worried about the aesthetics of his Mummy's fridge Grin I think you're pulling our legs.
Fucking hell Grin This renders half or more of the comments useless. So “dress nice” was just from some random bloke (with bad grammar) joking, “Dress nice, everybody, as it’s going on Uncle Alfred’s fridge.” What OP has said is she was in the photo a previous year, NOBODY wore jeans and a jumper, so it should have been pretty obvious she was going to stick out.
Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 18:10

@SudokuWillNotSaveYou
He isn’t some random guy though, he was just one of us reminding us to dress nice because that’s what the university expects.

OP posts:
LowlandLucky · 19/11/2021 18:13

Think it is time you invested in a pair of black trouser, a dark top and a light top. What on earth do you wear to funerals ? Time to have a few grown up items in your wardrobe.

BatshitBanshee · 19/11/2021 18:14

[quote Peridotty]@GreyhoundG1rl the guy was just reminding everyone to dress nicely for the benefit for the first years. I am a second year. I think there is no official dress code but in all the years past people have been dressing in suits or black/ burgundy/ grey and navy.[/quote]
I'm still baffled that you knew how people dressed for the last few years but you chose to take the "dress nice" from another student.

Essentially: "Oh everyone last year wore suits and I wore a dress for the fancy uni photo but Paul said 'dress nice' so I'll wear a jumper jeans and old trainers".

I mean??? You're either missing an accountability chip or a critical thinking chip. I don't know which.

5lilducks · 19/11/2021 18:14

Ah I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. People's priorities change when you have a child , it's no big deal. They should have said dress "smart" or "smart casual", as "nice" is neither here nor there. If you feel compelled to offer an explanation in order to save face say your child threw up on your suit that morning and nothing else fits you post-pregnancy. Dont dwell on it, move on and do well in your studies and in life x

Platax · 19/11/2021 18:16

I must say, suits and ties strike me as overdressing for a Christmas class photo.

user1493222657 · 19/11/2021 18:16

I wouldn't worry about it..even you will forget about it in a few years! Your outfit sounds fine! When I was a new graduate I always dressed wrong to events! Someone said to me wear formal clothes to a party in a restaurant and I turned up like I was there for an interview in white shirt and black trousers and ended up looking like the waitressesGrin Felt bad then but I can smile about it now!

starfishmummy · 19/11/2021 18:19

[quote Peridotty]@UniBallEye I am a graduate student at a very prestigious university think Oxford/ Cambridge type and an annual Christmas photo is always taken in front of nice buildings and then sent to everyone as a Christmas card, pinned on fridges etc.[/quote]
So if a photo is "always taken" you should have known from previous pictures what sort of things people usually wear.

stickygotstuck · 19/11/2021 18:20

I have to ask, am I the only one who can't see why this is an issue?

So some people might think OP looked less dressed up the rest of the group. And...?

ddl1 · 19/11/2021 18:22

Well, I think both extremes are a little bit cringey. Jumper and jeans are a bit underdressed; but a corporate outfit seems to me to be a bit overdressed.

EveningOverRooftops · 19/11/2021 18:23

Now you know to be that person that over dresses but keeps a jumper and jeans in your car just in case. In fact it’s never a bad idea to have smart staples to change into just in case. Always used to back when I was working. Black top and black trousers. Saved me a couple of times from embarrassment and another few from mess/accidents/period gushing. Would keep them in my desk.

mam0918 · 19/11/2021 18:23

[quote Peridotty]@urbanbuddhaThe memo to dress ‘nice’ was just a text from one of the guys in our class. It wasn’t from the university or anything.
@unfortunateevents last time I was there I didn’t have a baby haha. Now I have a one year old so the night before I was soooo tired and didn’t have energy to put thought into it. The morning of the photoshoot I thought whether I should wear the jumper or the suit dress but I decided to wear the jumper cos the dress needed ironing. I also thought it wouldn’t be festive.
@OnwardsAndSideways1 yes I’m doing a healthcare degree so I live in scrubs Monday to Friday.
@Divebar2021
i dont have many clothes because I have moved around so much during my adult life (5 cities and 3 countries). Every time I moved it was a pain to get rid of my old clothes. I learnt that buying a lot of clothes was a waste of money and I would just buy what I needed. I also don’t have an active social life that I have a baby. Never really go out to nice places anymore[/quote]
Wow, so other class members specifically told YOU personally to dress nicely not a class-wide notice?

That combined with the fact you have done this before and already knew it wasn't appropriate but still decided 'it'll do' then it sounds like you might have a habit of doing this rather than it being accidental.

A holey jumper and converse are on no planet ever been 'dress nice' and having a 1-year-old is no excuse, I had one in uni on my med course and wouldn't have even worn that to the lab never mind an event.

badger2005 · 19/11/2021 18:25

I agree with you stickygotstuck
But I've also noticed over the years that my own worries seem to loom very large, and other peoples' comparable worries seem trivial, and I don't get why they are worried about them!
I think something similar happens with the passage of time - the things that past badger2005 was worried about last year look unimportant now... and I guess that's why lots of people are reassuring the op that she will look back and laugh about this.
OP - I reckon that in a week's time this will seem like no big deal to you. I would like to help speed that process up, but I haven't yet cracked how to stop worrying about little things myself!

notanothertakeaway · 19/11/2021 18:25

Prestigious university, asked to dress nice, you know the photo goes on cards and you still wore an old jumper and converse trainers?!

Error of judgement on your part, but what's done is done

Allsorts1 · 19/11/2021 18:27

Don’t worry about it OP! You’ll laugh one day and this won’t effect your life in any way so just chalk it up to experience. I’m sure you looked nicer than you fear and to be honest as a student I wouldn’t have expected suits for an Xmas photo either!

Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 18:28

@mam0918 it was a class wide text not to me personally.

OP posts:
badger2005 · 19/11/2021 18:29

honestly, guys, chill! why are you making the op feel bad about a thing that is really not important? this isn't an ethical issue - it's just about image, and the op obviously showed up for the photo shoot in the right place at the right time, and was not naked or wearing anything offensive! i think that's plenty good enough. why are we giving her a hard time?