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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I was embarrassingly underdressed

276 replies

Peridotty · 19/11/2021 16:18

We had a Christmas photo shoot for our class (I am a graduate student). We had photos done in front of a nice building. I turned up in an old jumper, black jeans and converse shoes whereas everyone else was dressed in corporate gear (suits, ties, nice dresses and heels or brogues). I stuck out like a sore thumb and I am so embarrassed! I saw the photos and because I am wearing white and everyone else was wearing grey, navy, black I was also very eye catching. I keep cringing inside. The memo was to dress nice but I thought wearing a suit would be overkill for the Christmas photo so I wore a jumper and jeans instead.
Do you think you would be cringing ?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 19/11/2021 17:30

I don’t know. To me ‘dress nice’ would mean casual but nice. Something like cords and a nice jumper. But everyone gets it wrong sometimes so I wouldn’t panic about it.

MsTSwift · 19/11/2021 17:33

My worst was as a trainee going all out dress up for an after work Halloween party and turned up literally everyone else was in suits. Then as a result drank too much tequila and fell in a hedge on the way home. I moved to London after that.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 19/11/2021 17:33

Repeatedly doing something dorky doesn't make it a "thing"

Makes it "your" thing. That doesn't tend to be a good thing.

No idea why you wore that when you knew the expectations from having been there last year. Slightly dying inside, imagining myself in your shoes.

girlmom21 · 19/11/2021 17:33

Last year you worse a dress so you knew exactly how everyone else was dressing.
I don't understand why you're pretending to be embarrassed when you did it intentionally.

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 19/11/2021 17:33

It would have been more helpful if they put 'smart/casual' but that still wouldn't really imply suits and posh frocks. It's worth having at least something smart/casual, even if it's just a pair of trousers instead of jeans and an ok top, there are times where you want to present work/attend events, and it depends on your discipline but some do require a bit more dress up than others (others require none at all but you can't be in one of those as my colleagues probably don't even own suits lol)

girlmom21 · 19/11/2021 17:34

wore not worse, obviously.

rogueone · 19/11/2021 17:35

Haha that is hilarious...i still remember when i was a student nurse (years ago) and you were expected to starch your hats, i didnt and when we had our group photo i pulled my crushed effort out of my pocket...still chuckle when i see the photo.

Original poster
Peridotty · 19/11/2021 17:37

@urbanbuddhaThe memo to dress ‘nice’ was just a text from one of the guys in our class. It wasn’t from the university or anything.
@unfortunateevents last time I was there I didn’t have a baby haha. Now I have a one year old so the night before I was soooo tired and didn’t have energy to put thought into it. The morning of the photoshoot I thought whether I should wear the jumper or the suit dress but I decided to wear the jumper cos the dress needed ironing. I also thought it wouldn’t be festive.
@OnwardsAndSideways1 yes I’m doing a healthcare degree so I live in scrubs Monday to Friday.
@Divebar2021
i dont have many clothes because I have moved around so much during my adult life (5 cities and 3 countries). Every time I moved it was a pain to get rid of my old clothes. I learnt that buying a lot of clothes was a waste of money and I would just buy what I needed. I also don’t have an active social life that I have a baby. Never really go out to nice places anymore

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 19/11/2021 17:37

@OnwardsAndSideways1

It would have been more helpful if they put 'smart/casual' but that still wouldn't really imply suits and posh frocks. It's worth having at least something smart/casual, even if it's just a pair of trousers instead of jeans and an ok top, there are times where you want to present work/attend events, and it depends on your discipline but some do require a bit more dress up than others (others require none at all but you can't be in one of those as my colleagues probably don't even own suits lol)
I imagine op is paraphrasing with the "dress nice" Grin. I wonder what it really said?
ThePoisonousMushroom · 19/11/2021 17:38

I also thought it wouldn’t be festive

Did you think a jumper, jeans and converse would be festive?

Nancydrawn · 19/11/2021 17:39

You need to own an outfit between jeans and formalwear. Buy one pair of black trousers. They can be quite cheap if you want them to be, but pair that with a plain dark jumper and no one's looking at you twice. Wear a red felt scarf if you want to look cheerful. Whole thing will cost under £50 and take up very little room.

Overthebow · 19/11/2021 17:40

Not really sure what your aibu is. You had a memo to dress nice. You ignored it and wire an old jumper. Of course you stood out.

MilduraS · 19/11/2021 17:40

It's one of those photos you can pull out in a few years and have a laugh about. I wouldn't overthink it.

mibbelucieachwell · 19/11/2021 17:42

Telling you how to dress for a photo is cheeky. You're an adult. It should be up to you. I bet you looked lovely.

Try not to dwell on it. Have a lovely weekend with your family and forget the sad haters.

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/11/2021 17:43

@mibbelucieachwell

Telling you how to dress for a photo is cheeky. You're an adult. It should be up to you. I bet you looked lovely.

Try not to dwell on it. Have a lovely weekend with your family and forget the sad haters.

Haters 🤣
BatshitBanshee · 19/11/2021 17:44

So you have a dress you wore for it last year but decided a jumper jeans and old trainers were ok this year? Right. Ok.

Even if you didn't do it last year, it should be fairly obvious that if it's an official photoshoot organised by the college that you should be dressed smart.

Do yourself a favour and have at least two smart dresses (or suits) in your wardrobe - think funeral attire. Smart, knee length dress, full or three-quarter sleeves or dark coloured suit, nice blouse, fitted jacket etc for situations like this, ie. official photoshoots, interviews, funerals, seminars, meetings... Rather be overdressed than underdressed. Learn from it.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 19/11/2021 17:45

Telling you how to dress for a photo is cheeky

No, it's helpful, because it avoids the social embarrassment of looking different from everyone else. As long as you don't ignore it, of course...

IncompleteSenten · 19/11/2021 17:46

I'd be embarrassed yes.
If the memo said dress nicely and my choices were jeans or suit, I'd go with suit

icelolly12 · 19/11/2021 17:46

Well there's nothing anyone can do now, but of course wearing an old jumper and jeans is just scruffy tbh and at best everyday casual wear not special occasion wear and doesn't meet a criteria of looking nice.

Starcaller · 19/11/2021 17:48

I wouldn't think any more about it, OP. Personally I hate getting trussed up for photos and wouldn't want anyone to spend money unnecessarily or wear something they aren't comfortable in. If you are neat, clean, hair brushed and smiling and it's a reflection of you as a person, that's all that matters. It's not like you turned up in a bin bag.

KickAssAngel · 19/11/2021 17:54

yeah, but if it was just some guy on the course, and not a lecturer/organizer, then there wasn't really a dress code, so who cares?

KickAssAngel · 19/11/2021 17:55

sorry - some guy who said to dress nice?

badger2005 · 19/11/2021 17:57

But - you're a student doing a masters course! I would have not expected people to wear suits (unless you are at ... well, the university I'm teaching at where people might wear suits, but I've always thought that was unusual). I bet you looked great, and also that nobody minds anyway. People always look at photos to see how they looked, and worries about their own outfit, so I expect you're the only one scrutinising your clothes in this one!

tommyhoundmum · 19/11/2021 17:57

Let it go. You can't splash out on a dress you may never wear again

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/11/2021 17:58

What was festive about your jumper? Tell me it had a snowman face on it and a carrot nose sticking out.