Santa letter and school AIBU

[Myotherusernameisbest]

DD came home from school yesterday and told me the teacher had asked them all to write letters to Santa. Its still November, but hey ho.
DD is 6.
The teacher then told them she would post them off.
I thought nothing more of it as assumed the letters would be shown to parents, so we've an idea whats on them.
But today I have seen an email from the school detailing their whole santa letter thing.
Apparantly, the letters are 'sent off'. parents don't see them. And not only that they have the year 4's (so 8 year olds) read the letters and reply as though they are santas elves.

I didn't know if I'm over reacting but I think its a bloody stupid idea because:

1. I usually write the santa letter with the DC so I've some control to a degree of what goes on it. And then I know that they will get at least a couple of things from their list. I have no idea whats on this list and DD is being a bit vague as to what she wrote on it.
2. It now means we won't write our own letter to santa because you can't write him mulitple letters!
3. Not showing it to parents - for the same reason above, so we have a chance of getting something off it.
4. Its still bloody november
5. Having 8 year olds reply to the letters, knowing they are from year 2's. My older ones still believed in santa at age 8, so this is basically telling them its not real. And I consider it lying to a degree as they are opening deceiving the year 2's.
6. DD believes in Santa and they are given the impression the replies come from the elves. But surely all it takes is one 8 year old to say to a younger sibling, oh our class were the ones that replied to your letters, not santas elves, and it will spread round the year 2's like wildfire?

Its apparently an exercise in letter writing for the year 2's and also year 4's. Oh and the year 4's will also be reading the replies to the year 2's and it will be accompanied by a video of santa which the year 4's make, basiclly also replying to their letter. They sent an example of the video and its really shit. Its like a floating santa head, theres not even a body. Its as fake as it comes.

So, should I go to the school and say what a stupid idea it is, or just leave it, or something inbetween?
And also I''m thinking when DD is in year 4, if she still believes in santa then and they do it every year apparantly, she'll then know the whole letter thing she did was a big massive fake.

I have no issue with the school asking them to draft letters to santa, but surely they should then bring them home for parents to look at (and suggest adjustments where needed!) and not do the whole reply shite. I mean what if the year 4's promise them they'll get the stuff on their list and DD has put something really expensive on there!

Oh my god you are being totally ridiculous and I bet they are all laughing about you in the staffroom. I'm laughing my head off at this. What an overreaction by you and everyone else on this thread
I'm a teacher and think the exercise in the OP is problematic for several reasons.

• not all children will celebrate Christmas
• not all children will have lots of presents / a visit from santa for a range of reasons
• not all children are taught that santa is real and even those who do are told different things (eg santa brings all presents vs family buy presents and santa delivers).
• if home aren't aware of their child's letter then they can't manage expectations
• it’s unlikely anyone is quality assuming the Y4 student writing back to consider whether each reply is appropriate for the Y2 recipient. The Y2 students could go home under the impression Santa's elves have agreed to their list and their parents have no idea, which could make for some upset on Christmas day
• depending on what view of santa is being taught, school could be teaching that Christmas gifts are dependent on a child being deemed naughty or nice by a fictional character (some parents like me would strongly object to this because we raise our children to behave out of good character, not fear or to get gifts).

It's a well-intentioned activity and I wouldn't advocate being an arsehole about it, but it is the sort of situation that I would expect a teacher to reflect and adapt if a parent raised fairly reasonable reservations. If I heard a colleague laughing in the staff room when a parent raises reasonable concerns then I would think less of the colleague and would challenge them.

If done properly and explained properly it's a fairly standard English project.
But the children involved, especially the younger ones, should have had it explained that they are not real Santa lessons and that it's other children who are pretending to be Santa who are replying to them.

Where I've seen this project used before this has always been a key part of the lesson ground rules.

It's done for other scenarios too, not just Santa.

Again when done properly, the ground rules and the 'setting the scene' are key.

This also then covers those who don't celebrate Christmas. It's all supposed to be set up as pretend, role playing the parts. It's definitely not be supposed to run as if it's all real.

It's supposed to work in the same was that schools have children write letters to parents whilst pretending they're an evacuee, and having letters sent to them from 'their parents back home.'

It sounds like school have not set the scene and explain the whole role play aspect of it. Which is important.

Please give the school a good laugh and have your whinge to them. Its Just a (pointless) teaching exercise on letter writing. Unfortunately the 'others don't celebrate' argument is pointless, teachers carry on regardless. My child's state school are able to do the nonsense brain washing even though my children are listed as not being Christian.

Absolutely agree with the posters above. The essential element that seems to have been missed here is that the children need to know it is essentially a role play - it's not real.

Children get this, they really do. No child believes that actually are Mary or and angel or a donkey when they are in the nativity play.

If the activities were set out as a role play exercise then that would be fine. A good, well thought out 'walking in the shoes of another person' task can be a great way to learn.

@amillionmenonmars op makes no mention of it being a culturally diverse school so I presumed it was a White Mumsnet middle class kind of area.

I was brought up a JW so I fully understand being left out of Christmas activities and assemblies and Christmas concerts. It's shit. But even if the school didn't do this activity are we saying no Christmas themed work in the curriculum is ok? It's pretty standard to have maths and literacy based around a Christmas theme in December.

People believe different things but all have to manage to get along.

@waltzingparrot

And our school takes them to the local pantomine, so that traditional pleasure is taken away from parents/grand parents. Of course, you don't have to send them, but the disappointment /excited chatter the following day from all those that went is tough.

They also have a visit from Father Christmas. DS didn't want us to take him to see FC because he said he'd already seen him. That's how we found out the school did it.

I get that some of this stuff is done for the children that otherwise would get none of it, but make decorations, read a christmas story, have a visit from a touring theatre for a production of something that isn't on at the local theatre.

Don't spoil family Christmas traditions.

It used to be my dad. It was explained to me that Santa was too busy so needed his helpers and my dad was one of his special helpers. The costume was fab and it was a visit at the end of the school fair, so optional if parents wanted to send their kids. I definitely like the grotto at the school fair thing because it’s optional, but yes to everything else. It’s horrible taking away these lovely Christmas traditions from family and friends!

I never make any assumptions about the religious background or otherwise of school when people post on here.

I have no issue whatsoever with Christmas, Hannukah, Eid themes for lessons. As I explained ealier, in good, well planned lessons children are learning ABOUT these faiths, not PARTICIPATING in them. That is a key, important difference.

[quote pompomsgalore]@amillionmenonmars op makes no mention of it being a culturally diverse school so I presumed it was a White Mumsnet middle class kind of area.

I was brought up a JW so I fully understand being left out of Christmas activities and assemblies and Christmas concerts. It's shit. But even if the school didn't do this activity are we saying no Christmas themed work in the curriculum is ok? It's pretty standard to have maths and literacy based around a Christmas theme in December.

People believe different things but all have to manage to get along. [/quote]
Yeah I'm pretty sure all those people whining on here about this and bringing up cultural/religious reasons why this task is unfair to those who don't celebrate Christmas would be the first to moan if schools stopped doing a Nativity performance or carol concert etc each December in respect to those who aren't Christian/don't celebrate Christmas. There would be absolute outrage and we all know it.

I can't believe the amount of angst over this.

@NoodlesPoodles You've just reminded me I'm going to have to sit through a nativity AND probably carol concert when my kids are of school age. 😔😂 I won't lie, I wouldn't mind if they stopped doing it by that point.

I think YANBU OP, it sounds like a poorly thought out disaster waiting to happen, I don't know any child old enough to attend school who would think that floating head is actually Santa... I don't think my 2 year old would believe it tbh.

The whole Santa thing is exceptionally exclusive for children who don't get presents or where Christmas is a family nightmare. Add the fact that you only get presents if you are good, meaning you are a bad child if your addicted parents don't buy you anything, lying to your children about something like this and commercial pressure and increasing number of cultures in schools where Christmas means nothing to them. Santa isn't a Christian tradition, it's a commercial invention.
Time to knock it on the head and definitely not something for schools to go anywhere near.

'I grew up thinking I was a bad child because Santa never visited our house' Anyone ever heard an adult say that. I have plenty of times. A Navity play is completely different. Everyone can be involved whatever the family dynamics, same with Carol concert. These are the things for school, not managing the gift demands and communication channels.

Abraxan
Agreed. The central problem is that they're not pointing out that something is fictional and role play, so are promoting writing real letters to santa and it's something all children are expected to take part in because it's the lesson.

I don't understand how some people can't (or more accurately won't) see the difference between:
At Christmas some people write letters to Santa. We're going to learn about letters and imagine we are writing to Santa. To make it even more fun, Year 4 are imagining they are Santa's elves and will send you letters back
And
We are writing letters to santa even though we all know he doesn't exist. Then older children will lie to you and write back as the elves. Your parents aren't going to be told and we aren't going to consider that in the school that there are a range of family santa traditions, range of faiths and range of philosophies.

Yeah I'm pretty sure all those people whining on here about this and bringing up cultural/religious reasons why this task is unfair to those who don't celebrate Christmas would be the first to moan if schools stopped doing a Nativity performance or carol concert etc each December in respect to those who aren't Christian/don't celebrate Christmas. There would be absolute outrage and we all know it.
A school having an carol concert is not the same as a poorly thought through lesson that is compulsory for students and fails to take into account the range of family traditions in the class.

For a start, schools can't compel children of all faiths and none to engage in religious worship and parents have the right to withdraw their children.

Regarding nativity plays, it's a play. The children know it is a play. Nobody is telling children that they're literally the angel Gabriel. It's not an act of worship and again any school that is reasonable would be aware of their cohorts and plan accordingly.

It's a ridiculous comparison. Nobody is talking about banning everything to do with Christmas just because some people don't celebrate. They're pointing out that a lesson where children are lied to and told to participate in a particular version of Christmas is problematic.

What happens when youngest child asks Santa for £1000s of presents and older child/elf writes back promising to deliver this.

Good grief, this is a fucking stupid idea for so many reasons. That Santa head! So the Santa head is going to read the reply the year 4's have written? And they're expecting that not one of these kids is going to say - I wrote that!

I think it's totally unfair and inappropriate to expect such young children to participate in a deception like that. They're all going to k or surely that an animated head is not real?! This is going to go so wrong. A whole school full of children are going to have the Santa story destroyed in one exercise.

When I was teaching some years ago the children wrote to Santa and I posted them to an address in Ireland which was where the post Office handled them. The children received a reply and this was enjoyed. The fault with this idea is involving eight year olds in the replying task. If the school want them to do something festive like that then let them imagine they are Santa writing to children and describing his home and activities at this time of the year.

It is a fairly bad idea, but personally I would tell my DD that it is just a bit of fun school are doing to get into the Christmas spirit and so that her class and class 4 can practice their letter writing. But don't worry, now that you have had practice you will be able to send a beautiful letter to Santa that we do together at home. If she blabs at school I would say to the parents and school that they thought it had been explained that this was just a practice at letter writing and that they were supposed to write the proper letter to Santa at home.

@NoodlesPoodles I've had to question my own sanity today reading this. I'm pretty sleep deprived so maybe I'm not seeing things clearly but I can honestly only see a great activity crossing over from key stage 2 to key stage 1 that offers an authentic reason to write/record their response. Maybe a few tweaks will make it better next year, like photocopying the letter to send home, but that's how planning goes.

I think people on here are getting a bit hysterical over literally nothing. Fancy the school lying to the children about Santa eh?

@ClareBlue not of you are a JW. I found it all very alienating growing up. One year my school did an Old Time Music Hall songs show and I remember it so well. All the other years I was sat alone on the corridor floor whilst the whole school participated in the endless rehearsals.

Yeah I'm pretty sure all those people whining on here about this and bringing up cultural/religious reasons why this task is unfair to those who don't celebrate Christmas would be the first to moan if schools stopped doing a Nativity performance or carol concert etc each December in respect to those who aren't Christian/don't celebrate Christmas. There would be absolute outrage and we all know it.

Actually, it would be a relief if those things were stopped. We don’t celebrate Christmas or do Santa because we are Bhuddist. Christianity is not our religion. My DC did participate in nativity plays, but were always cast as nonhuman participants, ie a sheep or a palm tree or half a donkey, never a human or an angel! (Made me think about whether racism was at play tbh). I sat through them and applauded out of respect for the culture, but it was not a comfortable experience.

When we lived in the US, there was none of the Christmas things in the schools but then they have separation of church and state so nothing religious is in the schools at all. While the schools were terrible academically, and they had to do hide from a gunman shooting drills...that was the one silver lining.

Get a grip

@PlanDeRaccordement

Yeah I'm pretty sure all those people whining on here about this and bringing up cultural/religious reasons why this task is unfair to those who don't celebrate Christmas would be the first to moan if schools stopped doing a Nativity performance or carol concert etc each December in respect to those who aren't Christian/don't celebrate Christmas. There would be absolute outrage and we all know it.

Actually, it would be a relief if those things were stopped. We don’t celebrate Christmas or do Santa because we are Bhuddist. Christianity is not our religion. My DC did participate in nativity plays, but were always cast as nonhuman participants, ie a sheep or a palm tree or half a donkey, never a human or an angel! (Made me think about whether racism was at play tbh). I sat through them and applauded out of respect for the culture, but it was not a comfortable experience.

When we lived in the US, there was none of the Christmas things in the schools but then they have separation of church and state so nothing religious is in the schools at all. While the schools were terrible academically, and they had to do hide from a gunman shooting drills...that was the one silver lining.

Do you mean Buddhist?

@Briarshollow

Yes. Typo. Used to Bouddhisme

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@Briarshollow

Yes. Typo. Used to Bouddhisme[/quote]
@PlanDeRaccordement well done, good response to a very unnecessary comment.

‘Bouddhisme’ still has the H after the D.

@Briarshollow

‘Bouddhisme’ still has the H after the D.

Yes it does. Thank you for the English spelling lesson.