Santa letter and school AIBU

[Myotherusernameisbest]

DD came home from school yesterday and told me the teacher had asked them all to write letters to Santa. Its still November, but hey ho.
DD is 6.
The teacher then told them she would post them off.
I thought nothing more of it as assumed the letters would be shown to parents, so we've an idea whats on them.
But today I have seen an email from the school detailing their whole santa letter thing.
Apparantly, the letters are 'sent off'. parents don't see them. And not only that they have the year 4's (so 8 year olds) read the letters and reply as though they are santas elves.

I didn't know if I'm over reacting but I think its a bloody stupid idea because:

1. I usually write the santa letter with the DC so I've some control to a degree of what goes on it. And then I know that they will get at least a couple of things from their list. I have no idea whats on this list and DD is being a bit vague as to what she wrote on it.
2. It now means we won't write our own letter to santa because you can't write him mulitple letters!
3. Not showing it to parents - for the same reason above, so we have a chance of getting something off it.
4. Its still bloody november
5. Having 8 year olds reply to the letters, knowing they are from year 2's. My older ones still believed in santa at age 8, so this is basically telling them its not real. And I consider it lying to a degree as they are opening deceiving the year 2's.
6. DD believes in Santa and they are given the impression the replies come from the elves. But surely all it takes is one 8 year old to say to a younger sibling, oh our class were the ones that replied to your letters, not santas elves, and it will spread round the year 2's like wildfire?

Its apparently an exercise in letter writing for the year 2's and also year 4's. Oh and the year 4's will also be reading the replies to the year 2's and it will be accompanied by a video of santa which the year 4's make, basiclly also replying to their letter. They sent an example of the video and its really shit. Its like a floating santa head, theres not even a body. Its as fake as it comes.

So, should I go to the school and say what a stupid idea it is, or just leave it, or something inbetween?
And also I''m thinking when DD is in year 4, if she still believes in santa then and they do it every year apparantly, she'll then know the whole letter thing she did was a big massive fake.

I have no issue with the school asking them to draft letters to santa, but surely they should then bring them home for parents to look at (and suggest adjustments where needed!) and not do the whole reply shite. I mean what if the year 4's promise them they'll get the stuff on their list and DD has put something really expensive on there!

Year 4 was still prime believer territory in my family so this would have made me very cross.
Also I agree that I always used to supervise letter writing to make sure that some of what they ask for they get (or prompt them to ask for things I'd already bought!)

Doing a letter as a writing exercise is one thing but not saying they are being posted. We used to send ours to the address where you got a reply.

As said above all families do things differently and it's not for school to hijack Xmas traditions.

DD thinks she is writing the letter to the actual Santa, and yes it contains lists of things she would like. Which at that age a bit of guidance is required in my experience. For example one year my DS wanted to ask for a puppy and nothing else. No chance of getting a puppy, so had to steer him off it by saying Santa doesn't bring live animals and we came up with other suitable suggestions for his list.

I have messaged another parent who has older children at the school and she isn't happy. She said previous years its been a letter to santa and thats it, but they brought the letters home. This is the first year for the whole reply as elves thing and the incredibly crap video of santas head.

I will have a quick word with the teacher when I collect DD later and get a better understanding.

I just think its a disaster waiting to happen. If they are being told its actually santas elves replying and the year 4's are being told they are helping out Santa as one PP suggested, it still is pretty odd they will be reading the replies to the younger ones. Its pretty bloody obvious there was no santa middle man.

I think the school must of thought it would be fun, but haven't really thought this through. I mean recently a child in year 2 said a swear word and by the end of the day the whole class was saying it pretty much and they sent letter home telling parents what had happened. So its only going to take one to say its not real, my brother wrote the elf reply and it'll ruin the whole illusion.

And it does also sound like the year 4's are supposed to keep it quiet. Like thats going to happen!

My god yes agree stupid idea
Would check as pp said how it was presented to class but would be emailing to moan definately
Someone ran with the idea before fully thinking it through

Good to know I'm not being precious about it, and not the only one who would find this a bit of a stupidly thought out exercise.

I'll try and see if I can post a picture of the video they will be shown and told this is santa too.

Honestly I don't see the issue. However my school did this when growing up. Though I think it was year 5/6 who were writing back. There were rules about what we wrote back, we had to mention what had been asked for and make no promises. Eg 'I see you've asked for xxx and xx, santa will see what he can do'. And the replies were sent home so parents knew what had been asked for. I can't remember now how it was presented to us older kids but my mum says I still believed in santa till she told me when I went to secondary school (I can't remember any of this though😅) so however it was done it must have allowed for believers and non believers.

So ridiculous for all the reasons you said. But additionally, what if some of the kids don't celebrate Christmas? It's very excluding. At least crafts are fun and don't mean anything but this is literally sending something to the big man himself. What a joke. I would just tell my kid what has happened and that the teachers are too grown up to believe in santa so they've done something very silly or maybe that they thought they were helping santa cos he's so busy but that we'll be sending our own letter because he'll want to reply himself and he needs to know what you want. Just wow, baffling honestly. Why do they always forget about siblings?? Why not another school at least, but the same school lol. Also yeah, so so early too!

Wait a video of santa? I think my kids school did that last year because no one could see santa and in previous years she's been too little to understand fully. But this year I would be pissed because we've paid a lot of money to go see one in person and she's fully aware and with it now. Also again, what about children that don't celebrate Christmas? 🤨🤨

That's a very odd thing to do, how can the school not see all the pitfalls with such a crazy plan?

And year groups that are 2 years apart doing it? Surely that's prime sibling territory. My boys are in year groups 2 years apart, and there are 8 children out of the 30 in each class with a sibling in the other year group! They would totally talk if they were writing a reply to their little brother's friend's letter.

I'd just leave it.

It's nuts, but the whole Santa thing is nuts really.

I just ask my kids what they want (repeatedly) as they change their minds a lot.

Doing letter to Santa and bringing it home so parents know what’s in it and can change before sending, is a much better idea.

DS 10 still believes in Santa. I'm going to tell him the truth in the summer holidays. I'm so glad that his school didn't do that. DS 14 stopped believing when he was 8, but of his own accord.

It wouldn't wouldn't been that odd in the primary school I went to as the majority if kids were not from cultures that celebrated Christmas anyway so everyone would have understood that it was just a writing exercise with a Christmas theme (we did exercises theme based around different cultural holidays all the time, so would seem normal) and the few kids that did write letters to santa would have done their 'real' one at home with parents....could that be the case here?

My DC - aged 21, 23 and 24 - have never said they don't believe in Santa, purely because they know which side their bread's buttered. But we never did do the writing to Santa thing, and Santa was never promoted in a big way, as it all felt like a bit pack of lies. And the situation OP describes is where lies get you!

My dd school did this last year. She came home and said she had asked for a pink camera. Weird because she had never seen a pink camera ever… transpires they showed pictures of different toys. We ended up buying the additional (not inexpensive) item because an expectation had been created and they only discussed one item.

I have no problem with them using writing a letter to santa as a writing exercise. I just have a problem with the rest of it.

Or even if they were totally upfront, saying they will write practice letters to santa and years 4's can have fun pretending to be elves to write practice letters back.
That would be fun.
And wouldn't matter about who believes and who doesn't, or who knows who replied to whose letter because it would be clear its just a fun christmas exercise.

Awful idea.

Why are they sticking their nose into family dynamics like that?

Bloody awful.

Let them do pretend pen pals if they are desperate for writing practice.🙄

At our school even the cultures who don’t celebrate Christmas actually do celebrate with a family day and the families I know their children think/want to believe santa is real despite not being told this.

Lots of children up to secondary school age believe and it’s not for anyone on here to pass judgment on that.

School are wrong doing this. Our school did it once but it was stopped. Luckily for me my son came home upset because the Santa letters were in the bin!! And had not been posted. Teachers you are amazing but butt out of Santa letters.

For heavens sake.

You say to your Year 2 and your Year 4"this is a bit of fun from the school to make it interesting". Of course we will write the proper letter to Santa as we always have.
In exactly the same way you cover off all other Christmas stuff!

If your child is anything like mine what they write in a letter to Santa is either forgotten quite quickly or they change their mind 2 days later. I think it's lovely that they get to write them, some children won't get to do it at home. At my DS's school they did it and posted it early to the Royal Mail address so they would all get a response. I think if the Y4s are just acting as elves, my yr4 child would quite like this job and don't think it would impact on him believing or not. We had to have a conversation what 'stocking fillers' were after he saw them, and all the 'fake' Santas you can go and see but he still happily believes. I would still write a letter and enjoy doing it as this one is to Santa and the one at school was only to the trainee elves.

And our school takes them to the local pantomine, so that traditional pleasure is taken away from parents/grand parents. Of course, you don't have to send them, but the disappointment /excited chatter the following day from all those that went is tough.

They also have a visit from Father Christmas. DS didn't want us to take him to see FC because he said he'd already seen him. That's how we found out the school did it.

I get that some of this stuff is done for the children that otherwise would get none of it, but make decorations, read a christmas story, have a visit from a touring theatre for a production of something that isn't on at the local theatre.

Don't spoil family Christmas traditions.

The fact that they get Father Christmas to come into school is rubbish
In our school it was one of the children's dad who did it. Apart from the fact that everyone knew who he was, he looked the complete opposite of Santa anyway!

I was able to speak to the teacher, and its actually worse than I thought.

The year 2's are being told their letter is to the real santa and it has already been posted and they will get a reply.

The year 4's are being told the letters they receive are from santa and he wants help replying to them, and they are recruited as elves for this purpose. They are also told the letters are all from the year 2's at their school

The year 4's are not replying directly to the year 2's though. This is the best part. The freaky santa head which the year 2's are being told is actually santa is going to be used. The year 4's will record verbally their reply to the letter they were given and it will be put into the freaky santa head computer which will speak the childs reply but in a 'disguised' voice. The year 2's and 4's will get together in pairs so the one who wrote the letter and the one who replied, to watch the freaky santa head reply.
You just can't make it up!

The year 4's are definitely therefore going to know that it isn't santa and honestly so will the year 2's because the santa head is like a thing from nightmares. Also the year 4's will have to keep it a secret that its not santa and its not them who replied. So basically lie to the younger ones. WTF

The santa letters will not be sent home before all this happens, but will be sent home at the end of the term (a bit fucking late, i'd say).

I said I wasn't happy about it. I told her I'm not happy with my child being shown a nightmare head version of santa and being told its real. I should be the one to choose if my child goes to see santa and choose which santa that is and not have a teacher tell my child this head on the screen is actually santa.
Santa in our house is magical. And rarely seen. This is far from it.

Also I told her writing the letters great, but I have no idea what is on my childs letter and even if the year 4's are not promising them they will get whats on there, they are given the impression that if they are good santa will do his best.
That to me is going to translate to a 6YO that they are expecting to get whats on there. Teacher couldn't see issue with this (she doesn't have DC which I think is very relevant here as clearly has no clue parents need a degree of control over this).

Her argument was it is for the children whose parents don't do santa letters with them. Which would be a small minority.
I pointed out that the parents who don't bother with Santa letters, possibly may not bother with presents either, or don't do christmas and the child could actually end up even more sad and dissapointed because they actually wrote a letter to santa, got a reply and then on xmas day, nothing.
Surely thats worse than not sending a letter in the first place? And those that do buy presents but don't do a letter, so what? The child is not missing out.

I was a bit cross actually, but think I kept reasonable.

I have requested my child not participate at all in the whole reply, video, lie thing they have going on and to send the letter home and I will arrange a reply to it (once I've actually seen the damn thing). And because they have already promised my child a reply.

A few other parents have messaged in our group chat thing and think the same, so there won't be just my child not participating in it.

I'm happy for them to have letter writing experience. But as one PP said, they can do pretend pen pals for that. Or do a test run of their santa letter.
But I will have to explain to my child why they aren't doing it, although I've been told not to tell them its not real and just for school in case they tell their friends!

A friend I have with a dc in year 4 is livid. I really think they are going to have to pull this one back.

What the hell is wrong with making snowflakes and christmas cards, or nativity scenes or something? Or write a letter to an old person, wishing them a merry christmas or something.

I also suggested that they do it but keep it seperate. As in tell the year 2's a copy of their letters have also been given to year 4's so they can practise letter writing replies. Photocopy the letters (as the originals have already been sent apprantly) so the year 4's don't let on the original letters are being used.

Tell the year 4's they need to pretend to be elves, for the purpose of the exercise, reply to the year 2's letters and do the freaky santa head thing if they want.

And show the goddamn letters to parents.

@purpleme12

The fact that they get Father Christmas to come into school is rubbish In our school it was one of the children's dad who did it. Apart from the fact that everyone knew who he was, he looked the complete opposite of Santa anyway!

I hate this too. I wish schools would just but out of the whole santa thing. Its different for every family.

Mention santa - no problem
But also the actual meaning behind christmas and perhaps typical christmas traditions.
Leave santa out of it.