To not quite understand this dig at me

[Zaplollies]

It might not even have been a dig but,

My partner had a new female colleague at work who he got on with, he thought I would get on well with her too as we share a hobby and he suggested the 3 of us meet up outside of work, which I said I would be happy to do.

She got promoted and moved to another dept so he doesn’t work with her anymore but kept in touch a bit via text.

It never seemed to happen as apparently she would take days to reply, but he mentioned I would be coming and she asked when was best for me etc.

Anyway still didn’t seem to get planned. He went out with different colleagues to a restaurant and bumped into her and her friends, apparently she seemed drunk.

He said that he said to her “We should get that meet-up sorted soon”, and apparently she replied, “Oh and that will be alright with Zap will it?” In a sort of sneery way, and smirked.

I felt a bit hurt when he told me that, it seemed like a dig at me but I’ve never met the girl apart from saying hello once. It’s great that he wanted to invite me, he often invites me to stuff like that, I told him that he didn’t have to but I do appreciate it.

I’m probably overthinking

If he has said for instance “Are you free at 2 on Wednesday “ and she replied that then that’s totally different, but it wasn’t the case

I wonder why he felt the need to tell you about this?

He just said he was annoyed with her

She doesn’t want YOU there she wants your DH there with just the two of them, yes it’s a dig at you because she resents your existence and his consideration of you.

I said to him that maybe she didn’t want me there which is fine, but he doesn’t seem to think that’s true as apparently when they were trying to arrange the meet up she would ask if those times were good for me too

Weird. I find it really strange that he told you that she said that. Surely if she made a dig, he'd keep it to himself rather than upset you, especially if she's only an acquaintance? On another note, she sounds like a dick and I would avoid her and get him to avoid her too.

It’s upset me a bit as I was looking forward to meeting and I’ve done nothing wrong, but just seems sly

How anyone knows what the fuck she was thinking through a third hand report on Mumsnet, I’ll never know.

Sounds more like she was having a dig at him - pissed off with him persistently trying to arrange out of work meet ups when she’s been trying to avoid it.

Your partner should stop suggesting you all meet up.

Apparently she was really keen to meet up with their other male colleague though, so my partner didn’t understand why she was so keen to meet up with the other colleague but not him

I told him I’ll just not go now, he said he hasn’t suggested anything since but if he does then I won’t go

Your DP is stirring (for whatever motive). He no longer works with this woman and there is no reason he should be chasing her to hang out.

I mean I think men and women can meet up as just friends there doesn’t have to be an ulterior motive, I doubt he’d invite me if there was, I’d invite him too, but I don’t really wanna meet her now

Option 1: she fancies your partner and was annoyed you'd be at what she hoped would be a private meet up.

Option 2: Your partner wants you to think that option 1 is happening in order to make you jealous.

Option 3 (by far the most likely imo) : there was no sneering or weird digs in the first place, she was a bit drunk and your partner just misread her tone of voice, everything's fine and you are both way over thinking it.

Either way, probably time to just let the idea of meeting up go. It obviously isn't going to happen naturally so no need to turn it into a drama.

@HeddaGarbled

Sounds more like she was having a dig at him - pissed off with him persistently trying to arrange out of work meet ups when she’s been trying to avoid it.

THIS! ^^

Thank goodness it's not just me. I definitely think she was trying to get him to back off as she gets the vibe he fancies her.

Maybe she does fancy him but who cares really, though it seems like she didn’t contact him at all since she moved, it was him who suggested Meeting

Hopefully it’s option 3 though

From @ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings list, option 3 is by far the most likely here!

Yeah maybe she thinks that he likes her, though surely he wouldn’t invite me along in this casev

alarm bells. She’s flirting and he’s testing your reaction.

Yeah maybe she thinks that he likes her, though surely he wouldn’t invite me along in this case

He might, if he has no intention of taking it anywhere but enjoys the feeling that he could, likes having his ego pampered, and can do this with a clear conscience by bringing you along.

Even if it's not looking likely to happen, he gets to give you a little heads up that a woman has paid attention to him.

It looks to me like he is covering himself by volunteering info.

I think as she was steaming drunk I wouldn't put too much stock in what she was saying or how she said it.

I think he should let the whole thing drop though. It doesn't sound like she is that bothered about meeting up. Why does he keep texting her?

So hear me out. She said that barbed comment in front of other people and he is covering himself by telling you in case someone else tells you more.
If I were you I would keep my eyes and ears open

OP. Why on earth do you so much care what this woman you have never met might have meant?
She doesn’t seem interested in meeting up with your husband either!
I wouldn’t even give it a second thought?!