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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's cheeky for a friend to ask to stay over following an event I was excluded from?

128 replies

carlydurly · 18/11/2021 20:21

Friend of over a decade asked to stay a night last week following an evening activity nearby to me. She works near my house and it's far more convenient to get there from mine than hers, which is almost an hour away. We have a holiday annexe which isn't used at this time of year so she often asks to stay and isn't roughing it. I said yes, just presuming she was going with her work mates.

It's the kind of thing I would have really enjoyed, especially as I'm currently going through a bit of a shit time (which she knows) but I'd never have tried to invite myself. She then bailed at the last minute and didn't go, so no need to stay. Fine.

Anyway, turns out today from bumping into a mutual acquaintance she'd actually planned to go with her and another friend of the acquaintance. It wasn't a limited numbers situation, we've all been together to this kind of thing a couple of times before and had discussed going again. (I'm far less bothered about the acquaintance not inviting me than my friend of a decade.)

While it stings a bit to be unceremoniously dropped, i can't believe she'd then still attempt to use me for the post event accommodation knowing I'd been left out from something a) nice b) with someone I know and c) round the bloody corner! I can almost see the funny side but I'll need to tackle this somehow. She regularly asks to stay but I'm not up for being taken for a mug again. Tell me how you'd handle this!

OP posts:
ikeptgoing · 22/11/2021 07:33

@zingally

That would annoy me too, as she agreed when you needed to dog sit until and you did her a favour. She hasn't realised how much extra work involved to keep dog longer that are into the time you'd already given her of your weekend. Putting back all the cleaning up after having a dog to stay well into your Sunday evening.

Lovelymincepies · 22/11/2021 07:55

Maybe there was something going on with the other people going life and they didn’t want someone there that they weren’t particularly close too.

I don’t expect my friends to invite me everywhere.

Newestname002 · 22/11/2021 11:28

@ChargingBuck

Eventually telling one persistent fucker "no Dave, it won't be happening because I won't willingly put myself alone in a room with you. No, it's not that I'm scared of you because of course you'd never call yourself a rapist but your creepyness is persistent & exhausting, don't ever ask again."

My goodness! Sounds like Dave is one to stay well clear of/have your wits around at ALL times! I pity the next person who's too polite to say NO to him. 🌹

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