Silence in the waiting room

[Meatandseventeenveg]

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

Objectively, for a normal conversation level noise (same level as two adults) = you are not being unreasonable. I doubt two adults would have been told off for talking quietly!

On the other hand, it is rather subjective... "quiet talking" can be surprisingly loud to a non parent, because I think parents get used to unregulated noise! I speak as mum to a 3 year old so I'm being matter of fact rather than judgemental... I do occasionally find that I have to shush him quite a bit just to talk at a 'normal adult level', especially after we've been somewhere outdoors where voices creep up... I suppose the old "indoor voice" cliche exists for a reason!

The OP has made no mention of the woman's age, but it hasn't taken long for the ageist comments to start.

The woman was an arse.

My old surgery used to have a fucking klaxon go off when the next patient was called. The deafening blast accompanied one of the many brightly lit information signs to show your name, the doctor you were seeing, Room number and then arrows pointing which direction to go. The klaxon would blow again after about 30 seconds. I'd take screaming kids over that any day, especially as the reasons for my visits were almost always a migraine that I couldn't get rid of.

@ilovesooty

The OP has made no mention of the woman's age, but it hasn't taken long for the ageist comments to start.

I have not seen any ageist comments.

The animal noises sound irritating. No harm in teaching your daughter to be quiet in some circumstances. She’s obviously capable if she started whispering.

If you haven't seen any ageist comments @XenoBitch, perhaps you need to look more carefully upthread.

FFS. Of course you were being unreasonable.

You clearly made enough noise that another waiting patient felt uncomfortable.

Surely you could have just read quietly to your daughter like sensible parents do, instead of your rude overreaction?

It’s a bloody doctors waiting room, not the local toddler group meeting.

Ageism
Always rears it's head
We will all be old one day
And why is "old" necessary to be added to the insult
I've met some old cunts and some young cunts
Being a cunt is an equal opportunities role it would appear

@ilovesooty

If you haven't seen any ageist comments *@XenoBitch*, perhaps you need to look more carefully upthread.

I feel dumb, because I have looked and not seen anyone at all refer to this woman's age or perceived age at all.

@XenoBitch there wasn’t a reference to the age of the woman in the OP. In comment that has now been deleted the poster talked about a time when she’s been told to be quiet and referred to the person who had said that in an insulting way, including the word old.

Don’t want to post the full insulting description in case it gets my comment deleted for quoting a deleted post.

You won't see the ageist comment now. It's been deleted.

If she was being loud and annoying then she should have been told to keep it down a bit by you - the last thing you want when you’re feeling ill is a screening child.

However it’s a waiting room, not a library- of course there’s going to be noise and playing.

It’s made me think though at my gp when I used to read my DD books I’d always whisper and feel like everyone was listening - so they generally are quiet places.

I don't understand why she couldn't have politely asked you to keep it down as she had a headache. I agree with other people - I'd far rather it wasn't silent in there. I have terrible health and anxiety and a bit of chatter is far better as far as I'm concerned than silence.

We take books with us, but the doctor always has a backlog and, with the best will in the world, no 2 year old is going to sit passively for over half an hour.

@SummaLuvin

My daughter, the angel

This alone tells me that you account is probably entirely biased and unreliable. Your little darling was probably a pain in the ass, when you are sick/in pain/tired tolerance for irritating things dries up.

What she said directly afterwards "understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left." Shows that the little two year old wasn't behaving badly and was actually quite sweet and thoughtful of her surroundings.

People are allowed to be kind to their children you know and it's perfectly normal to acknowledge when your child has behaved well. You sound like you have a serious chip on your shoulder!

DH has a serious illness, he spends a LOT of time in GP and hospital waiting rooms. He always says it's nice to hear children chatting and playing as it's kind of life-affirming. Obviously running around at full tilt screaming at the tops of their voices isn't so great, but it doesn't sound like that was the case here. Some people are just miserable.

Why do people in this country hate children so much? A child playing in the children’s corner in a waiting room is delightful. It’s a child ffs you can’t muzzle it, and it’s preferable to have it playing then on an iPad. The iPad is for emergencies like when they stop playing nicely and start running amok.

YANBU

It’s about compromise, in my opinion, @Meatandseventeenveg - it was unreasonable of her to expect silence in the waiting room, and it would have been unreasonable for you to let your dd run around shrieking. Clearly you did compromise - entertaining your dd at a perfectly normal volume - but the woman was unwilling to compromise and accept normal noise levels.

Being charitable, I would assume that she was either feeling really unwell, was in pain, or was worried about her health, and that made her unreasonable.

You did everything you could do, to think of the needs of other people in the waiting room.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Why do people in this country hate children so much? A child playing in the children’s corner in a waiting room is delightful. It’s a child ffs you can’t muzzle it, and it’s preferable to have it playing then on an iPad. The iPad is for emergencies like when they stop playing nicely and start running amok.

YANBU

A playground, a soft play area... yeah, I agree with you. But a GP waiting room.... no. As has been said several times, there will be people waiting there that are about to receive some awful news, or they could be hanging by a thread and needing help. Maybe someone in the waiting room is struggling with fertility issues. You don't know. Would you let your kid run amok at something like a funeral?

Eugh, I hate this when I go to the GP.

If you and the other patient the only ones in the room and you’re talking above a whisper it’s going to be disruptive, potentially upsetting or even painful.

Once told, your daughter was able to realise this and amend her behaviour and yet as an adult you can’t understand that?

You don't know. Would you let your kid run amok at something like a funeral?

Did you read my post? I wouldn’t let my child run amok at a gp surgery. I would let them play nicely snd if they started to run amok they would get an iPad. I think it’s a shame to give an iPad as a first resort when they can play nicely in a corner. And I wouldn’t take my child to a funeral because it’s not a great place for a child but a Gp surgery can’t be helped. Sounds like OP has a pretty sick child actually

I wouldn't have a problem with a 2 year old playing and being communicative. I find it joyful when parents interact well with their children. I'm not sure what difference a silent waiting room makes to anybody's illnesses anyway.

@claymodels

I wouldn't have a problem with a 2 year old playing and being communicative. I find it joyful when parents interact well with their children. I'm not sure what difference a silent waiting room makes to anybody's illnesses anyway.

You really can’t imagine how someone who’s experiencing terrible headaches, ear ache, is feeling disoriented, dizzy, sleep deprived, waiting for results of potentially difficult test etc might be better off and prefer a quiet or silent waiting room?

Does it make any difference if we're the ones waiting for the difficult test result?

Adults can be quiet or silent because they are er… adults? Kids are kids, if adults can’t cope with kids being in the waiting room, well it’s hard cheese really.