Silence in the waiting room

[Meatandseventeenveg]

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

@TangerineDreams

The woman was an arse.

My old surgery used to have a fucking klaxon go off when the next patient was called. The deafening blast accompanied one of the many brightly lit information signs to show your name, the doctor you were seeing, Room number and then arrows pointing which direction to go. The klaxon would blow again after about 30 seconds. I'd take screaming kids over that any day, especially as the reasons for my visits were almost always a migraine that I couldn't get rid of.

That's outrageous! Way back in days of yore, when my GP surgery actually admitted patients into the waiting room, I took my mum to an appointment and they had rock music blasting out. My mum was pretty deaf and even she complained that it was too loud.

@OatALot

Isn't there generally toys to entertain children in GP waiting rooms because the surgery understands that young children will become board and so have provided them with the toys? Should they play with them in silence with no parent interaction?

Maybe people can campaign to have these areas removed from their local surgery.

I haven’t seen any toys in waiting rooms since the start of the pandemic

Yes, stop your kids yelling in a GP waiting room. How on earth do think you are entitled to this?

@XenoBitch so now you're just making things up in an attempt to win an argument?

No toys here anymore either, but they still have a farm scene painted on the wall.

As a tax payer I guess I should avoid taking my 2.5 yo to the GP who tantrums and gets bored easily if god forbid he ever falls ill and needs a doctor. I'm saying this as both his parents contribute and therefore is also entitled to a healthcare by the shitty NHS where his parents had to jump through hoops and waited 3 weeks to get a booking .The play area is designed to keep toddlers/children occupied, I feel sorry for any parent who has young children/toddlers where they get told off to read the room and be quiet. I can assure you, those parents wouldn't be in a doctors waiting room if they didn't need to and would rather be in a park and are trying their best to keep their toddler occupied!

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

But it isn't a made up rule, it's an unwritten rule. You show other's respect in a waiting room by speaking very quietly.

Right; so not by being silent then?

💐 for you and your DD.

If you have a 2 yr old who has had numerous blood draws and doesnt have to be wrestled, kicking and screaming into a doctors office, then you are doing an amazing job of mothering.

I hope she is feeling better soon.

Exactly this, kids can get stressed too, and my toddler is fed up of being prodded and poked, stripped and examined, blood taken out of her time and time again.

Oh bless her, poor little mite.
YA definitely NBU!! The women was out of order.

@SeaToSki

💐 for you and your DD.

If you have a 2 yr old who has had numerous blood draws and doesnt have to be wrestled, kicking and screaming into a doctors office, then you are doing an amazing job of mothering.

I hope she is feeling better soon.

This! Totally agree.

If you have a 2 yr old who has had numerous blood draws and doesnt have to be wrestled, kicking and screaming into a doctors office, then you are doing an amazing job of mothering

This - with bells on.

OP - keep doing what you’re doing. A trip to the GP with a sick child is stressful enough. I also hope she’s well again soon

Exactly this, kids can get stressed too, and my toddler is fed up of being prodded and poked, stripped and examined, blood taken out of her time and time again.

I think this is a very relevant point if your DD has been to the dr enough times to make her a bit anxious in the waiting room, which it sounds like she has.
I have a two year old who wouldn’t be stressed in a GP waiting room because fortunately the last time she was there was for her 1 year jabs which she doesn’t remember so she’d have no reason to associate it with anything negative.
For a child who does have that association, chatting and keeping them distracted and relaxed in the waiting room will make the appointment easier if they don’t go in already a bit tense and nervous. I’d imagine it also reduces the likelihood of something far more disruptive, like crying, or a tantrum.

Of course, since none of us were there to hear how loud you were being OP, it’s hard to judge totally fairly.

It's massively stressful having to take an unwell 2 year old to the doctors. Or even taking them anywhere where you have to wait for an unknown length of time.

People can't expect pure silence in a public space. And silencing a 2 year old is often impossible. They are loud by nature.

You don't sound like you did anything wrong at all. I wouldn't worry at all.

OP if I was feeling rubbish waiting at the doctors your DD would actually have made me smile with making animal noises. She does sound very cute. And also a considerate little thing since she lowered her tone after the woman spoke. For a poorly toddler, that's pretty impressive, bless her.

@Meatandseventeenveg

Oh goodness, I'd forgotten about the performance parenting issue on MN. I was talking quietly to her, and she did demonstrably move from talking to whispering after the lady had spoken, so I'm not sure how that could be biased information. I was not performance parenting, I was enjoying the company of my sick child (and she wasn't there just for an ingrown toenail or a bit of a cold either).

Nevertheless, I will take on board what people have said about being silent for other patients and maybe plug her into the telly on an iPad, as that's of course the only way a two year old will be silent.

Of course 2 year olds can be quiet without an iPad?! What did everyone do before 2010? This can’t be serious.

I would tell my child in advance that they will have to be quiet because people feel unwell and then remind her each time she makes noise. There is absolutely nothing wrong with starting from the premise that children can adapt their behaviour to different social settings, as your daughter showed you. You just should have prepared her and she would have done it from the start.

The one time in my life I was in a waiting room waiting to find out if I had cancer at 32 years old, having just had a total hysterectomy, and therefore in full menopause and reeling from being suddenly infertile, was a waiting room in the “womens unit” of a hospital. Every single other person in there was either pregnant, had a baby, had a toddler, or some combination of the three. The level of chaos was like something in a zoo, between the charging toddlers, screaming babies and loud competitive pregnancy and parenting. I was waiting for 90 minutes as the consultant overran. I have genuinely, honest to god, never been as emotionally overwrought as in that time.

A bit of light talking and animal noises would’ve been like a classical music concert compared to that experience.

(I fed back to the hospital that it might be better if maternity and gynae oncology didn’t share a waiting room…)

I would tell my child in advance that they will have to be quiet because people feel unwell and then remind her each time she makes noise.

😳 You wouldn't permit your child to make any noise at all? Just because they are in a waiting area? Sorry but that's insane.

@AudacityBaby I'm so sorry, that sounds hellish for you. I hope the hospital was able to act on what you told them.

I would tell my child in advance that they will have to be quiet because people feel unwell and then remind her each time she makes noise

Even if your child is unwell? Children are patients too and cry, make noise, need to be distracted.

I find it really interesting how many people on ‘Mumsnet’ are so disgusted by the idea of hearing animal noises from a young child. If there is a play corner in the waiting room it’s because they expect children to be able to play there. I agree with pp who said iPad would be reserved for when children were no longer able to play nicely. As frustrating as it might be if you are feeling rubbish, a gp waiting room is a common area for use by all people, not just for quiet adults.

[quote claymodels]@JesusIsAnyNameFree

But it isn't a made up rule, it's an unwritten rule. You show other's respect in a waiting room by speaking very quietly.

Right; so not by being silent then? [/quote]
You don't need to be completely silent, but silent enough that other people can't even make out what you're saying. One might call it a whisper.

Some people are annoying, I went to the cinema with my two boys once obviously to see a kids film, there were two old ladies there and they told them to be quiet when they said something about the film, they then said to me you should make them be quiet, I said to them you should not come to a kids film if you don't want to hear children.
I felt bad but some people are unreal. X

@trappedbylife

I would tell my child in advance that they will have to be quiet because people feel unwell and then remind her each time she makes noise.

😳 You wouldn't permit your child to make any noise at all? Just because they are in a waiting area? Sorry but that's insane.

Correct. Nothing wrong with that.

@OatALot

I would tell my child in advance that they will have to be quiet because people feel unwell and then remind her each time she makes noise

Even if your child is unwell? Children are patients too and cry, make noise, need to be distracted.

Obviously not. But as parents it is our responsibility not to unnecessarily impose our children on other people.

@ldfdyjxzyjkv

Nothing wrong with that, sure. In your opinion. I have a very different opinion.