Silence in the waiting room

[Meatandseventeenveg]

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

There's no signs in the GP waiting rooms to say 'sit your child down and shut them up'

Quite. Because everyone knows that's an entirely inappropriate and unreasonable expectation.

I am one of those childless people on Mumsnet and noisy kids when I am sick would annoy me, however I know that's just what kids do (and that I can be a grumpy git) so I'd never say anything.

The woman was a dick. Sorry your little girl had to hear it.

Me too. Maybe we are of a different generation, I have no idea

Are you from 1837 by any chance? 😆

"maybe plug her into the telly on an iPad, as that's of course the only way a two year old will be silent."

She doesn't need to be silent just quieter. The fact she was then able to continue in more of a whisper shows she can enjoy her play without being loud enough to disturb others. So I think there is your solution ...

I do think if you allow children to continue making noise at a normal level in an environment that is inherently quiet - like the surgery was on that day - of course it's going to risk disturbing people. Time and place.

This has reminded me of when OH had to take SDD13 to a Drs for an ear infection while on holiday in France.

When they got back they were BURSTING to tell us that while in the (quite full, but fairly quiet) waiting room, whenever anyone new entered the room everyone chorused “Bonjour!”

The greeting of strangers en masse totally freaked them out

No your not being unreasonable. Its not as if your toddler was running around screaming. I think you were quite restrained. I would have knocked her entitled head off

It doesn’t sound as though you were being unreasonable. I had a similar situation several years ago. A lady asked me how I coped with all that noise all the time (my DC weren’t being particularly noisy), and then went on to say that my son was stupid and would never amount to anything! I was completely taken aback. Fortunately another person in the waiting room took her to task and the receptionist found us somewhere else to wait. Thank goodness for their kindness.

@Meatandseventeenveg

Oh goodness, I'd forgotten about the performance parenting issue on MN. I was talking quietly to her, and she did demonstrably move from talking to whispering after the lady had spoken, so I'm not sure how that could be biased information. I was not performance parenting, I was enjoying the company of my sick child (and she wasn't there just for an ingrown toenail or a bit of a cold either).

Nevertheless, I will take on board what people have said about being silent for other patients and maybe plug her into the telly on an iPad, as that's of course the only way a two year old will be silent.

Don’t forget earphones. Kids on iPads are very annoying to other people. We had a lunch ruined last week. The mother seemed completely oblivious to how disruptive the noise was. Hope your daughter is feeling better soon.

🤦‍♀️

I am a GP receptionist, I don't ask parents to keeps children quite I do however object to phones/tablets on loud so I tell them to turn them down. We also have children who love to play with the automatic doors and the fire extinguishers, those inattentive parents get told to keep their children away from the danger. I am wicked

Off subject - trying to remember the last time I was in a gp waiting room...

Your kid was fine, even if she was shrieking, she was fine, because its a Doctors, you'e hardly there for a sodding day out! I get severe migraine,s had one for two weeks straight a few years back, the waiting room was so loud, but I didn't blame anyone, kids are kids, the clues in the name! If they were 8 or 9 and being rowdy, thats one thing, a two year old?? please! Let poorly kids be poorly without whinging at them ffs.

I'd far rather your toddler and some toys than an idiot man I encountered a few years back. He was standing in the middle of the room sneezing all over the place, no hanky or tissue, just spraying everywhere. So of course I caught his cold This was years before Covid. God help him now.

What did we do before ipads? People are allowed to talk in the waiting room. The woman should have been told to butt out in a polite way. And guess what you are even allowed to speak in libraries today!!!

As a parent of toddlers, I used to treat the waiting room like a library. Quiet voices, no noisy toys and no giddy behaviour, climbing on and off chairs, running round, etc.

As a sick patient needing to see the gp I have sat almost in tears wishing parents would be more aware of how loud they, and their "angels" werw being and be quieter.
Illness magnifies sensitivity to noise.

As an aside due to covid transmission we're not allowed anything on display, magazines toys etc. we didn't even have our little fake Christmas tree last year, not sure about this year

What's wrong with bringing up children to respect the fact that in some places it really isn't polite to play. It's not hard to understand.

What's wrong with bringing up children to respect the fact that in some places it really isn't polite to play. It's not hard to understand.

I feel the understanding is where you are struggling tbh so it's a bit ironic you have tried to suggest it's an issue of others. Not polite to play? In a waiting room? Which has absolutely no restrictions?

You mean it isn’t polite to play in a children’s corner? Exactly do you suggest children should do in a children’s area other than play?

The world does not revolve round adults who can’t cope with a parent interacting with their child through quiet play - the sooner some adults realise that the better. I do wonder how some were raised.

@Roxy69

What's wrong with bringing up children to respect the fact that in some places it really isn't polite to play. It's not hard to understand.

Pretty much everything children that age do is some form of play, that's how they learn and communicate.

It's not appropriate to play with loud toys, shout or play running games in a waiting room. Chat, books and quiet toys (i.e. what OP was doing) are absolutely appropriate.

I agree older children shouldn't be playing in waiting rooms, but again this is a two year old we're talking about, and there are limits to their behaviour and attention spans.

@SirChenjins

You mean it isn’t polite to play in a children’s corner? Exactly do you suggest children should do in a children’s area other than play?

The world does not revolve round adults who can’t cope with a parent interacting with their child through quiet play - the sooner some adults realise that the better. I do wonder how some were raised.

Your second paragraph is spot on.

@Roxy69

What's wrong with bringing up children to respect the fact that in some places it really isn't polite to play. It's not hard to understand.

It's impolite for a 2 year old to interact with her mother in a waiting area by noticing animals on a picture and mimicking their sounds?

Based on OP's descriptions, I'm imagining the interaction (at a normal volume) to have gone something like:

"Look mummy, a pig"
"Oh yes, what sound does a pig make?"
"Oink oink"
"Yes, clever girl" etc....

If this is considered impolite or inappropriate, for a TWO year old and their parent in a waiting area, then I'm genuinely concerned about those who think and feel this way. Bizarre.

As a parent of toddlers, I used to treat the waiting room like a library.

You're free to treat it that way if you wish. However, it really isn't like a library at all and nobody else is under any obligation to treat it as such. What you prefer is neither here nor there really.

I know you find it hard to grasp but yes @trappedbylife I would consider that inappropriate - and I am well brought up, well educated, successful and have DC who know how to behave (I say this only because of the slurs that have been levelled against those who you and other PP disagree with - suggesting there is something wrong with those who don’t agree with you). Why does everything else trump manners these days? I also wonder how some people were brought up.

It has got nothing to do with whether a waiting room is a library or not a library, soft play or not soft play, it is just a basic social principle that you don’t impose yourself and your offspring on other people who don’t care how wonderful and spirited your child is.