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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Silence in the waiting room

368 replies

Meatandseventeenveg · 18/11/2021 17:28

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

OP posts:
trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 11:17

She sounds like someone who's at the end of her tether

Perhaps OP and her sick child also feel this? Hence the low level, age appropriate distraction techniques whilst waiting for yet another medical appointment at such a young age? Just a thought ...

claymodels · 19/11/2021 11:17

It's a doctors waiting room, not a soft play

It a waiting room, not a quiet room. Nobody was treating like a soft play either.

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 11:19

I can't believe some people are comparing it to soft play! The child engaged in a low level conversation with her mother about animals on a poster and made a few pig noises! Yes, that's totally the same as climbing all over the place and screaming. 🙄🙄

Bloodypunkrockers · 19/11/2021 11:36

@trappedbylife

She sounds like someone who's at the end of her tether

Perhaps OP and her sick child also feel this? Hence the low level, age appropriate distraction techniques whilst waiting for yet another medical appointment at such a young age? Just a thought ...

Which is why I said the girl and OP did nothing wrong

My issue is with the disgusting name calling of the woman.

Just a thought Hmm

SirChenjins · 19/11/2021 11:40

My issue is with the disgusting name calling of the woman

Your issue was also about the OP using it as a soft play - which was a complete figment of your imagination. Why make something up?

OatALot · 19/11/2021 11:41

Some people seem to think the OP and her DD were in the waiting room for laughs. They were patients too. Lots of projected disdain for something that simply doesn't warrant it.

Mum233 · 19/11/2021 11:43

It’s hard to keep a toddler quiet at the best of times let some when they are poorly!

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 11:46

@SirChenjins

My issue is with the disgusting name calling of the woman

Your issue was also about the OP using it as a soft play - which was a complete figment of your imagination. Why make something up?

Yeah exactly! Selective memory about her own post.

Just a thought .... Hmm

Bloodypunkrockers · 19/11/2021 12:02

@SirChenjins

My issue is with the disgusting name calling of the woman

Your issue was also about the OP using it as a soft play - which was a complete figment of your imagination. Why make something up?

I clearly said that the OP and her child had done nothing wrong

I also said that it was a doctors not a soft play. I at no time said that the OP specifically was treating it as such. It was a general comment and one that others have posted mainly directed at those who think children can do what they want, where they want

Your inference. Your selection. I don't really give a fuck to be honest, you crack on

My issue is with the comments directed at someone because they were bothered by noise being called bitch, moron and idiot

Such a lack of empathy from some posters.

SirChenjins · 19/11/2021 12:19

Why bring a soft play into it? Why not 'garden centre', or 'cafe' or 'shop' or any of the hundreds of other places you could have compared it to but didn't.

No, you were inferring that the OP was treating it like a soft play. Your selection. Your inference.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 19/11/2021 12:19

agree with you.maybe mothers with children forget what empathy for other people means.its all me,me ,me these days.lets hope,they never suffer from a migraine attack,where even a whisper is like someone knocked your head with a sledgehammer

What about empathy for OP who has a potentially very little girl?!

Bloodypunkrockers · 19/11/2021 12:27

@SirChenjins

Why bring a soft play into it? Why not 'garden centre', or 'cafe' or 'shop' or any of the hundreds of other places you could have compared it to but didn't.

No, you were inferring that the OP was treating it like a soft play. Your selection. Your inference.

Yes dear, I expect you're right
Bunnycat101 · 19/11/2021 12:46

This little girl was 2, she was waiting for tests and could have been scared etc. 2 year olds are not designed to sit quietly especially ones who are potentially poorly. Waiting for a long time with a toddler can be excruciating so I don’t the the OP was doing anything wrong with playing with her. An older child might be expected to sit down and read but most 2yo are olds have very little attention span, zero filter. Quite frankly I’d take a bit of chat and animal noise over screaming and crying.

Ive been in waiting rooms with poorly, bored kids and it isn’t easy. I remember once one of mine just cried and there was nothing I could do to console her. I’m sure it must have been crap for the others there but I couldn’t leave.

MinnieJackson · 19/11/2021 13:22

You're not wrong. About six years ago my son, who has autism, had an appointment (double ear infection). Major meltdown and the waiting room was packed so I stood in the foyer. My poor boy was really distraught. We were stood in the foyer so i could still see when his name flashed up on the screen, and is used every distraction I could to help him down but he was just to far gone Sad and a lady came out from seeing the doctor and saw her friend so went and sat by her for a chat. After two minutes she stormed over to the foyer door, kicked the door wedge out and shouted 'I can't even even hear myself talk in here!!' Then slammed the door shut on us. I burst out crying aswell.

SirChenjins · 19/11/2021 13:28

Yes dear, I expect you're right

Yes dear, I expect I am.

cayennepepper · 19/11/2021 13:51

@MinnieJackson people see children as a nuisance that they should not be heard or seen in public places. When did we become so intolerant? My 2.5 yo would never behave like op's daughter, he would shout and scream and throw tantrums no matter how much I will try to calm him down and distract him. The efforts I go through, sweating through my butt to keep him quiet but people will judge and say I'm a bad parent by the responses on this thread. Maybe my child's personality is like that, maybe he has asd. Is he not entitled to health care? When I broke my arm falling down the stairs years ago I was stuck in the A&E with drunk people who were shouting and screaming with police officers coming in and out with criminals that they had arrested and mangled them during their arrest shouting every swear word with children in the a&e who had broken limbs through sport etc. Im sorry if they have a right to healthcare, so does my son who has two parents that contribute to the healthcare system.

I just feel physically sick when I come across threads like this where people openly shame parents with lack of parenting in restaurants or planes when they see a child and expect a 2yo to contain themselves like a adult. You're lucky if you have child that sits perfectly silently but it's not because you are the better parent, it's because your child is like that and nothing to do with your parenting!

@PRsecrets I want to move countries as well as I'm sick of living amongst miserable people who think the world only revolves around them only and no other citizen has the right to access public spaces or public healthcare. A country where dogs have more rights than tiny human beings. What a utterly shit country we have become. My ds became ill abroad on holiday once where he required iv antibiotics. He was screaming the place down, everyone in the waiting room asked if he was ok and wished him to get better soon. I honestly really really hate this country so much and what it has become where people lack tolerance and basic compassion.

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 13:56

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

agree with you.maybe mothers with children forget what empathy for other people means.its all me,me ,me these days.lets hope,they never suffer from a migraine attack,where even a whisper is like someone knocked your head with a sledgehammer

What about empathy for OP who has a potentially very little girl?!

Exactly. Empathy for small children, even poorly ones, is frighteningly absent on MN.

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 13:57

@OatALot

Some people seem to think the OP and her DD were in the waiting room for laughs. They were patients too. Lots of projected disdain for something that simply doesn't warrant it.

Totally this!

IntermittentParps · 19/11/2021 14:01

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there
This made me laugh. What on earth did they think you were doing there? Sightseeing?

Children screaming/shouting/running about of course would be irritating. But talking and a bit of animal noise I think people could be a bit more tolerant about.

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 19/11/2021 14:16

[quote cayennepepper]@MinnieJackson people see children as a nuisance that they should not be heard or seen in public places. When did we become so intolerant? My 2.5 yo would never behave like op's daughter, he would shout and scream and throw tantrums no matter how much I will try to calm him down and distract him. The efforts I go through, sweating through my butt to keep him quiet but people will judge and say I'm a bad parent by the responses on this thread. Maybe my child's personality is like that, maybe he has asd. Is he not entitled to health care? When I broke my arm falling down the stairs years ago I was stuck in the A&E with drunk people who were shouting and screaming with police officers coming in and out with criminals that they had arrested and mangled them during their arrest shouting every swear word with children in the a&e who had broken limbs through sport etc. Im sorry if they have a right to healthcare, so does my son who has two parents that contribute to the healthcare system.

I just feel physically sick when I come across threads like this where people openly shame parents with lack of parenting in restaurants or planes when they see a child and expect a 2yo to contain themselves like a adult. You're lucky if you have child that sits perfectly silently but it's not because you are the better parent, it's because your child is like that and nothing to do with your parenting!

@PRsecrets I want to move countries as well as I'm sick of living amongst miserable people who think the world only revolves around them only and no other citizen has the right to access public spaces or public healthcare. A country where dogs have more rights than tiny human beings. What a utterly shit country we have become. My ds became ill abroad on holiday once where he required iv antibiotics. He was screaming the place down, everyone in the waiting room asked if he was ok and wished him to get better soon. I honestly really really hate this country so much and what it has become where people lack tolerance and basic compassion.
[/quote]
Physically sick? Put it in perspective, please.

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 19/11/2021 14:18

[quote cayennepepper]@MinnieJackson people see children as a nuisance that they should not be heard or seen in public places. When did we become so intolerant? My 2.5 yo would never behave like op's daughter, he would shout and scream and throw tantrums no matter how much I will try to calm him down and distract him. The efforts I go through, sweating through my butt to keep him quiet but people will judge and say I'm a bad parent by the responses on this thread. Maybe my child's personality is like that, maybe he has asd. Is he not entitled to health care? When I broke my arm falling down the stairs years ago I was stuck in the A&E with drunk people who were shouting and screaming with police officers coming in and out with criminals that they had arrested and mangled them during their arrest shouting every swear word with children in the a&e who had broken limbs through sport etc. Im sorry if they have a right to healthcare, so does my son who has two parents that contribute to the healthcare system.

I just feel physically sick when I come across threads like this where people openly shame parents with lack of parenting in restaurants or planes when they see a child and expect a 2yo to contain themselves like a adult. You're lucky if you have child that sits perfectly silently but it's not because you are the better parent, it's because your child is like that and nothing to do with your parenting!

@PRsecrets I want to move countries as well as I'm sick of living amongst miserable people who think the world only revolves around them only and no other citizen has the right to access public spaces or public healthcare. A country where dogs have more rights than tiny human beings. What a utterly shit country we have become. My ds became ill abroad on holiday once where he required iv antibiotics. He was screaming the place down, everyone in the waiting room asked if he was ok and wished him to get better soon. I honestly really really hate this country so much and what it has become where people lack tolerance and basic compassion.
[/quote]
To add - the only thing that has changed is people are now completely selfish. Common decency is only just holding on in this country. You do realise that the obsession with children being the centre of the universe is only about 5 years old? Before then they fit in with adults.

cayennepepper · 19/11/2021 14:24

People should remember that the more you push children and not accept them part of our life, the less doctors, nurses we will have in the future. If you treat the young ones like shit and push them from a young age as if they are an inconvenience, they will move elsewhere in the world where they will be treated with respect. @ldfdyjxzyjkv yes physically sick to the extent that every time I go into a public space, I get anxiety on how my toddler would contain himself what small minded people I may encounter!

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 14:26

@cayennepepper

I couldn't agree more with your posts.

cayennepepper · 19/11/2021 14:29

Sorry I meant what small minded people I may come across that will tell me that my child has no right to be there as a paying customer or a child that needs medical attention!

trappedbylife · 19/11/2021 14:38

Physically sick? Put it in perspective, please.

This is so dismissive of @cayennepepper 's feelings on the matter. If that's how she feels, then it's for a reason and it's valid.