Silence in the waiting room

[Meatandseventeenveg]

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

@cayennepepper

Sorry I meant what small minded people I may come across that will tell me that my child has no right to be there as a paying customer or a child that needs medical attention!

My point is simply that it is for us as parents to limit the impact of our children on other people. Quite obviously if a child is crying/upset because they are unwell that is another matter but I really don’t see the problem with showing a little respect (eg asking a child to sit in your lap on a train so another adult can sit down). It is simply good manners. I would tell my DC before arriving that it is a quiet place. I have taught them from an early age that there are some places they need to be quiet (like on a plane) and they completely understand it and have no issue with it. The sooner they learn that society is made up of a lot of different people who also have feelings, the better. I teach my DC that other people need to be shown courtesy. They are confident, happy, loud, noisy, messy kids but they are also empathetic and respectful.

It's a waiting room, not a silence room.

And yes, I will chat away to my DD whilst there.

Two year olds don't understand the first time you tell them that they need to be quiet in a particular place. You have to teach them, and often that means showing them over and over again. The way to teach a two year old to be quiet in a waiting room is to chat to them, engage their interest so they don't get bored, and play with books and quiet toys. This stops them running around, shouting, having a tantrum etc. That is the way to be considerate to other people, because two year olds don't have the same behaviours, capabilities or needs as older children or adults.

I.e., the OP was teaching her child how to behave in a waiting room in an age appropriate way, and well done to her for that.

Children being forced to fit in with adults and “seen and not heard” and all the other antiquated shit that most modern doctors/psychologists disagree with (obviously because we are now more educated and understand more) is probably why we have so many emotionally stunted adults, most of whom seem to be on this thread.

Agree with PP who says I would rather listen to a parent working their arse off to keep the child happy than listen to screaming and crying snd the parent not bothering.

@MindyStClaire

Exactly!

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Children being forced to fit in with adults and “seen and not heard” and all the other antiquated shit that most modern doctors/psychologists disagree with (obviously because we are now more educated and understand more) is probably why we have so many emotionally stunted adults, most of whom seem to be on this thread.

Agree with PP who says I would rather listen to a parent working their arse off to keep the child happy than listen to screaming and crying snd the parent not bothering.

You are clueless. But do what you like, your children won’t thank you.

Children being forced to fit in with adults and “seen and not heard” and all the other antiquated shit that most modern doctors/psychologists disagree with (obviously because we are now more educated and understand more) is probably why we have so many emotionally stunted adults, most of whom seem to be on this thread.

👏🏻

@ldfdyjxzyjkv

Happy to disagree on that one! You have absolutely no idea about my parenting. I’m also strict about my children behaving/very considerate etc but a sick child playing nicely in a waiting room
Sounds absolutely fine to me because I’m not a lunatic. It’s nice for your children to be seen as a burden on others though, lovely 😊

My point is simply that it is for us as parents to limit the impact of our children on other people.

It's also for us as parents to allow out children for freedom to express themselves and communicate with us in socially acceptable and age appropriate ways. Both of which apply to the child in the OP. Therefore there was absolutely nothing that needed to be "limited" about the OP's child's behaviour.

*allow our children the freedom to

I’m also strict about my children behaving/very considerate etc but a sick child playing nicely in a waiting room
Sounds absolutely fine to me because I’m not a lunatic

Second this.

@trappedbylife

*I’m also strict about my children behaving/very considerate etc but a sick child playing nicely in a waiting room Sounds absolutely fine to me because I’m not a lunatic*

Second this.

Absolutely, I'll happily third it.

I would tell my DC before arriving that it is a quiet place.

But it isn't. You think it should be, but as is evident from the voting on this thread, the vast majority don't agree with you.

Most posters think what the OP was doing is entirely OK and indeed age-appropriate. Running around shouting and bumping into people = definitely not OK. Sitting in the children's corner and behaving in a manner which is precisely what that area is set up for = absolutely fine.

If there’s a child’s area – our GP has those wooden play stations with blocks on wires to move around, and a box of toy cars and animals on wheels to push around – and it has pictures of animals too, that’s a clear sign from the GP that it’s OK to play with that stuff and interact with the pictures, and it’s there precisely to distract small, poorly children, or children accompanying a poorly parent. Find a different GP if you don’t want one with an open invitation for children to (enjoy quiet, supervised) play.

Children have fewer coping mechanisms than adults and X amount of time staying quiet in a waiting room is harder than it is for an adult to grit their teeth and think “I hate ducks”.

Yanbu it's not a library or an exam hall. It just isn't.

@ldfdyjxzyjkv "You are clueless. But do what you like, your children won’t thank you."

Her children won't thank her for being a loving parent that interacts with her? Yeh, I'm sure they'll be livid 😂 get a grip

[quote Houseofvelour]@ldfdyjxzyjkv "You are clueless. But do what you like, your children won’t thank you."

Her children won't thank her for being a loving parent that interacts with her? Yeh, I'm sure they'll be livid 😂 get a grip[/quote]
*with them

jfc mumsnet can we please have an edit button 🙄

Her children won't thank her for being a loving parent that interacts with her? Yeh, I'm sure they'll be livid

I know!! Honestly I think I'm on a different planet on here sometimes 🤣

[quote Houseofvelour]@ldfdyjxzyjkv "You are clueless. But do what you like, your children won’t thank you."

Her children won't thank her for being a loving parent that interacts with her? Yeh, I'm sure they'll be livid 😂 get a grip[/quote]
😂

If they are well enough to get to the doctors surgery they are well enough to listen to your daughter chatting. Its not as if she was screeching and running about ff's.
Some people are properly miserable 24/7.

Children should be seen and not heard

Sick or not, miserable gits. What would they say to a crying baby.

@trappedbylife

Her children won't thank her for being a loving parent that interacts with her? Yeh, I'm sure they'll be livid

I know!! Honestly I think I'm on a different planet on here sometimes 🤣

Me too. Maybe we are of a different generation, I have no idea.

@Chely

Children should be seen and not heard

Sick or not, miserable gits. What would they say to a crying baby.

Typical MN extremism to win an argument.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all OP, You're doing your best to ensure your DD is comfortable and her nerves are calmed after all she has been going to the docs and getting blood tests etc so it's natural she will be nervous and if you just make her sit there in silence she will feel even more nervous and it will build up!!

There's no signs in the GP waiting rooms to say 'sit your child down and shut them up' - I had a scare and had to go to the GP to get myself checked and it was lovely to hear children playing with the little toys and books, likewise when you go to the dentist. It's really calming.

Sending hugs to you and family OP. X

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all OP, You're doing your best to ensure your DD is comfortable and her nerves are calmed after all she has been going to the docs and getting blood tests etc so it's natural she will be nervous and if you just make her sit there in silence she will feel even more nervous and it will build up!!

There's no signs in the GP waiting rooms to say 'sit your child down and shut them up' - I had a scare and had to go to the GP to get myself checked and it was lovely to hear children playing with the little toys and books, likewise when you go to the dentist. It's really calming.

Sending hugs to you and family OP. X