Silence in the waiting room

[Meatandseventeenveg]

Was at the doctor's with my 2 year old this afternoon. We were playing in the children's corner of the room, nothing noisy but just a chat about the pictures of the animals in the room, and DD was also making the animal sounds.

Another person in waiting room told DD to be quiet as there are sick people there (at this point it was just us three in the waiting room). I'm afraid I snapped back that my daughter is sick as well, and turned away.

My daughter, the angel, understood the woman and proceeded to talk in a whisper until the woman left.

So WIBU to think that toddlers are allowed to talk in the doctor's waiting room?

The thing is when we go to a public place the noise level might not suit us.. that's just a fact you can't really escape from. All those people who posters have listed as being understandably sensitive to noisy children- people who are worried about bad news, with headaches, ear aches, mental health conditions, they may all be in any number of places we go without us knowing - on the bus, in the supermarket. We don't say you should be quiet in case they are there, so why is a gp surgery different?

I don't think we can assume all those people would want silence either. The most distressing I have ever found a GP waiting room was when I had suspected PND and had a long wait with baby ds in a silent room full of people. I can still remember that feeling of utter self consciousness as I tried to keep ds happy and quiet, tried not cry myself and desperately hoped he wouldn't need a feed (because despite breastfeeding in public plenty of times, the idea of doing it in a waiting room where everyone sat in a square silently looking at each other was too much for me). The silence just amplified everything. I would have loved someone to start chatting loudly or a toddler making animal noises to come in. But ultimately I couldn't do anything about it and it wasn't anyone's fault it was too quiet for me. Life just isn't ideal!

I'm not sure what the people who say talk quietly / read a book with your 2yo think conversations with 2yo are like but in my experience they usually involve some animal noises, roars, laughs etc! I'm always amazed though that there are a large number of people on mumsnet who seem to have sympathy and empathy for everyone apart from parents of young children who aren't perfect!

She is 2 of course you don’t expect her to be silent and if there was only the op and the other patient they probably didn’t have to wait long. So I think the woman was being unreasonably.

I haven’t RTFT but wanted to point out noise can be distracting for reception staff and other staff working in nearby rooms. There’s no indication that was the case with the OP’s child. I hope she’s well now.

Whatever her reasons it's sad she had to moan. You and your DD were fine. Kids will be heard and happy ones should be a joy.

I volunteer in a local library and we don't have any rules about noise. It's lovely - kids enjoying books, friends chatting, other people quietly doing what they do.

@Simplelobsterhat

The thing is when we go to a public place the noise level might not suit us.. that's just a fact you can't really escape from. All those people who posters have listed as being understandably sensitive to noisy children- people who are worried about bad news, with headaches, ear aches, mental health conditions, they may all be in any number of places we go without us knowing - on the bus, in the supermarket. We don't say you should be quiet in case they are there, so why is a gp surgery different?

I don't think we can assume all those people would want silence either. The most distressing I have ever found a GP waiting room was when I had suspected PND and had a long wait with baby ds in a silent room full of people. I can still remember that feeling of utter self consciousness as I tried to keep ds happy and quiet, tried not cry myself and desperately hoped he wouldn't need a feed (because despite breastfeeding in public plenty of times, the idea of doing it in a waiting room where everyone sat in a square silently looking at each other was too much for me). The silence just amplified everything. I would have loved someone to start chatting loudly or a toddler making animal noises to come in. But ultimately I couldn't do anything about it and it wasn't anyone's fault it was too quiet for me. Life just isn't ideal!

I'm not sure what the people who say talk quietly / read a book with your 2yo think conversations with 2yo are like but in my experience they usually involve some animal noises, roars, laughs etc! I'm always amazed though that there are a large number of people on mumsnet who seem to have sympathy and empathy for everyone apart from parents of young children who aren't perfect!

Sorry have had 2 year olds in doctors and been in your position and still think that children should be taught to keep quiet in doctors waiting rooms. It is common courtesy. Why do people on MN think that anyone who disagrees with them doesn’t have children? It is bizarre.

😂 or hates their kids and neglects them, you’re right.

To be fair I didn't say the posters who don't empathise with people with children aren't parents. In fact I know they usually are that's why I surprises me how harsh people often are.

I of course agree there shouldn't be running around and shouting in a doctors surgery, but I dont think I'm the only one who thinks some chatter is preferable to uncomfortable silence.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

The person is a moron- ignore - even if your child was screaming, they are 2, how much can you do

Jesus Christ

On the way to being taught to keep the noise level down most are likely to make some noise as they learn what is appropriate. Wouldn’t it be great if parenting were just about telling them once to do something?

@SummaLuvin

My daughter, the angel

This alone tells me that you account is probably entirely biased and unreliable. Your little darling was probably a pain in the ass, when you are sick/in pain/tired tolerance for irritating things dries up.

This made me snort because it’s exactly what I thought! Your wonderful precious “angel” 🤣

Yes, that sounds like the kind of thing you would think.

Jesus Christ Jesus Christ what?! I’m not going to shove a screen or a biscuit at my child to appease a stranger. Yes I will try and calm/ distract my child but there’s only so much you can do with a terrible 2yr old

God I hate a silent waiting room, it's really unnerving and uncomfortable, I'd much rather listen to a child playing. Not one running around yelling but playing quietly in the children's corner is lovely.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out 🙄

Your child has certainly the right to talk in the waiting area.maybe the person complaining was in a lot of pain.Pain can make people very intolerant of anything.just let it pass.I imagine,the person probably feels bad about his/her reaction afterwards.sometimes,when we are ill,we react in different ways than normal.

@PRsecrets

Absolutely agree re attitudes in this country to children. It’s an absolute joke.

She sounds like a miserable bitch. Honestly I'm quite intolerant and probably would have felt a bit irritated having to listen to kids playing but I know that's my issue and I would have kept my feelings to myself. Besides, the GP surgery is generally for minor ailments or routine checks, it's not an ICU so her argument that there are sick people doesn't really work.

She sounds like someone who's at the end of her tether

Some of the comments on here are disgusting

I've been in so much pain, in a waiting room, that I've wanted to tear my own head off

All this shite about the woman being a bitch, moron, idiot, etc.

It's a doctors waiting room, not a soft play

The child actually sounds really sweet and empathetic and I don't actually think OP or her daughter did anything wrong

But FFS all these comments about the woman are disgusting

@Meatandseventeenveg

For what it's worth, there was no duck, and she only made the pig noise once. She did like the bumble bee and did that a few times.

Does that make it better or worse?

I mean it just sounds adorable to me. She's 2, not 10! But each to their own. Small kids actually make me smile rather than scowl, that's the type of person I am I guess...

It's a doctors waiting room, not a soft play

Exactly - which is why the children's corner wasn't being treated as such. It was being used for its intended purpose.

No actually it’s much better to teach your child how to behave.

Yes, it is. Making a few animals noises after seeing a picture of farm animals and talking to their mother in a doctors surgery is perfectly age appropriate behaviour at aged 2. She's little more than a baby ffs.

@Bloodypunkrockers

She sounds like someone who's at the end of her tether

Some of the comments on here are disgusting

I've been in so much pain, in a waiting room, that I've wanted to tear my own head off

All this shite about the woman being a bitch, moron, idiot, etc.

It's a doctors waiting room, not a soft play

The child actually sounds really sweet and empathetic and I don't actually think OP or her daughter did anything wrong

But FFS all these comments about the woman are disgusting

I agree with you.maybe mothers with children forget what empathy for other people means.its all me,me ,me these days.lets hope,they never suffer from a migraine attack,where even a whisper is like someone knocked your head with a sledgehammer.I actually feel sorry for the children of these unempathetic mothers mothers.what sort of message are they giving their kids:fuck people who are in pain,my angel has the right to talk.I hope OP you explained to your child afterwards,that some people are in a lot of pain and their harsh words is an expression of their pain.