To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

[NewSwimmingMum]

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

[quote Fangsalot89]@riotlady Is it not to raise money for the school?[/quote]
Yes, but generally the idea is that you get something nice in return for your money- kids like dressing up, doing fun things at fairs. It gets to be a bit of a pain in the bum to pay a pound every few weeks to have to hunt down and wear an outfit that you don’t like, when you’re working every day for minimum wage and usually do 30-60 minutes every day of unpaid overtime. I loved my job but it does get wearing coming from higher ups who earn 4 times your salary .

YANBU. The fact schooling is free in this country is something to be proud of, and adding unnecessary expenses to struggling families through guilt-tripping their children is morally wrong.

If your school doesn't have the basics it needs, take it up with the government, and approach individual companies for help. Many consumer-facing companies have CSR policies and funds to supply local charities and non-profits with raffle prizes, sponsorship arrangements etc. It shouldn't be up to the parents in poverty or refugees to make sure the school has calculators, board markers etc.

This happened a lot when I was at school in the 80/90s. I was always the kid who couldn't contribute or looked the odd one out when wearing uniform on a non-uniform day. I hated it.
This included having to bring in food for food drives then being embarrassed by teachers who complained what I brought wasn't good enough. I especially hated the fund raising/raffle ticket sales that rewarded those that earned well. I had a tiny family who couldn't afford to contribute and didn't have the nerve to go round the neighbours asking for cash.

I'm dreading my kids starting school and having the same things happen. We're not as poor as I was growing up, but I will resent being pushed into paying out for all these random days.

@PissedOffNeighbour22 Why would you resent it?

I honestly think schools who need funding for basics etc (and they really do, schools struggle enormously) should ask parents at the beginning of the year for an entirely voluntary, kept anonymous, donation of maybe £50 per child, or £5 per month etc by bank transfer. Those who can afford it pay, or more if they'd like, those who can't, don't. No impact or bearing on the children because no ones left out and only the office would know - then we don't do all of the things that most parents don't have the time to do (like sorting costumes, baking etc) throughout the year.

Or they should have an Amazon wishlist type thing that parents can purchase from if they like, sent direct to school. Again no pressure and no one feels like they look bad for not doing it.

I'd happily give them a nice donation each year with a bit extra to cover someone who can't afford to, or buy them some supplies in exchange for being left alone in peace sending my child in just their uniform for the year. Maybe one dress up day at Christmas or the end of the year so the kids have fun. Done!

@PissedOffNeighbour22
Oh my I’ve just had flash backs of all the sponsored stuff. I also came from a tiny poor family so my parents would sponsor me £1 and my grandmother £1 and we had no one else to ask. So that was that.
Others had pages and pages of sponsorship.
I hated that

Luckily there’s only ever been one at school for my children.

It’s like a lot of the “voluntary work” experiences for teens. Where they have to raise x thousand to do them. That’s all well and good as long as you know x amount of people with the thousands to sponsor you.

I agree especially where some families have more than 1 child at school and really can't afford it. It's just not fair I feel so sorry for the family and the kids. School shld never put pressure on donations it should be a case of it's X day this Friday and any donations are welcome. Therefore no one has to worry about not being able to afford it.

The NHS and education are not charities. All this fundraising saucepan banging shit irritates the hell out of me. I wouldn't pay it if I had a kid in a UK state school. Which is probably why I don't

Yeah, it's tedious. I'd rather donate a single larger sum every term.

Yes, my kids have a day like this at least every 3 weeks or so and on top of that they're asking for snack, milk, after school club money ( normally about £35 for 5 sessions) and donations of money so they can buy books and equipment. It's like a bloody direct debit I swear. They even asked on the school app if any parents with gardening experience would volunteer their time at the weekend to transform the garden area for free. Not sure if they had any takers.

Wellarentyouacleverdick
I'd rather do that too. At least making a voluntary donation to the PTA each term means that all the money goes into the school funds. Spending £10-20 a term on assorted items for various charity events, then a £1 donation that actually goes to the charity isn't something I agree with. I'd rather give £10 to the PTA for the benefit of the children and continue with our family's own charitable donations.

Our (secondary) PTA fundraise at school sport/music/drama events by running refreshment stalls or running evening events for parents, or sponsored events for students/families to opt into. They also contact local businesses for raffle prizes and sell tickets. Our head doesn't allow staff to add in extra charity days either because they're mindful of family circumstances. We have very few 'wear X' days throughout the year.

@DraigFach

Raise it with your school. Ours is mindful of the impact it has on families so it's rare we have more than 2 "pay £1 to wear your own clothes" day in each half term.

The school council vote on which days to fundraise for so it's down to the children ultimately which is quite nice.

If that's being mindful of the impact, then you don't realise how tight finances are for some families.

That's 12 days a year - with three kids, that's £36, which is quite a bit of money.

There's also the issue of making sure they have the clothes to wear that aren't going to get them laughed at. Sure, they must have weekend clothes, but the jogging bottoms you wear at weekends are not going to cut it when others are showing off their favourite outfits.

It is a good fund raiser, and schools that are really mindful of the impact find a way to make it a voluntary donation, but 12 a year seems excessive.

There was a thread about this a few days ago and it really was an eye opener. I think a lot of people are completely unaware of the poverty levels we have in Britain.

In my school we have a lot of kids who only have grey school socks - because they get a grant for school uniform and that’s what they buy. It’s not unusual to see kids at the weekend in their school jumpers because they have so few clothes, and no way to wash/dry them. When I said this on the other thread a poster scoffed and asked why they couldn’t just borrow a sock from a relative?

So you have an eight year old in one grey school sock and one washed-out white trainer sock belonging to his uncle (several sizes too big, obviously) under the heading of ‘inclusivity’. It’s ridiculous.

It’s so easy to ‘raise awareness’ of different causes in the classroom, there’s absolutely no need for dress up/dress down/odd sock garbage - especially in an education system absolutely determined to cling on to the idea of school uniforms in the first place.

@Pumperthepumper

There was a thread about this a few days ago and it really was an eye opener. I think a lot of people are completely unaware of the poverty levels we have in Britain.

In my school we have a lot of kids who only have grey school socks - because they get a grant for school uniform and that’s what they buy. It’s not unusual to see kids at the weekend in their school jumpers because they have so few clothes, and no way to wash/dry them. When I said this on the other thread a poster scoffed and asked why they couldn’t just borrow a sock from a relative?

So you have an eight year old in one grey school sock and one washed-out white trainer sock belonging to his uncle (several sizes too big, obviously) under the heading of ‘inclusivity’. It’s ridiculous.

It’s so easy to ‘raise awareness’ of different causes in the classroom, there’s absolutely no need for dress up/dress down/odd sock garbage - especially in an education system absolutely determined to cling on to the idea of school uniforms in the first place.

But it IS unusual for a child to not have different coloured sock and to have to wear their school uniform at the weekend!

@EdenFlower you’ve proved my point. It’s absolutely not unusual around here. It’s horrible and it’s unfair, but it’s not unusual. This is what poverty looks like in 2021.

Pumperthepumper

That thread got very silly. People were saying they spent hours and hours on school ‘admin’. And the sock thing was identified as being the less costly and easier option to parents than a full on Disney or Victorian dress up day whilst still doing something a bit fun.

I’ve known some very poor families through work, they did have basics like socks that were not part of uniform, underwear and basic non uniform clothes and when they didn’t, we helped them get those things.

It’s difficult for schools, the pound should never be asked for, only taken if offered like at my child’s school. I’m sure some parents never donate and that’s ok, no other parents would notice as you don’t see what others are doing and parents are too busy sorting their own child to notice. But dress up days themselves are too expensive for many families so should stop.

I've never understood why the schools don't do a costume making session during the school day, perhaps with newspaper or lining paper. If it's so educational. That way everyone is equal. And children encouraged to give their time instead of money - letter writing or naming something they could do to help another person.

[quote Pumperthepumper]@EdenFlower you’ve proved my point. It’s absolutely not unusual around here. It’s horrible and it’s unfair, but it’s not unusual. This is what poverty looks like in 2021.[/quote]
I live in a Northern town which has plenty of poverty, I have worked in one of the most deprived schools in the country, I have rarely seen children in their school uniform at the weekend- it is not common-it is rare, place- I don't believe you!

Yes! It was so often and often so specific what they could wear. We didn't own any yellow t-shirts and I said that I would not be buying one just for that. Then my daughter got shamed for wearing a beige one instead. FFS!

Same with Christmas jumper day. My DH caved and bought a cheap one in Primark, but I just used one of my Scandinavian sweaters as sweaters with those kinds of patterns are sold with the description "novelty sweater" in Asda anyway (which is an insult, but hey that is Britain for you). Thankfully my present workplace doesn't do those kinds of attention whore/woke signalling events. If people want to do charity they can do it on their own time.

One year the school did "dress like a superhero" day just a week after Halloween. That got a lot of complaints. Having to find a different outfit just one week after Halloween. Don't know what they were thinking.

It's not remotely unusual for kids to only have one multipack of socks, usually picked in school uniform colour because schools will send home kids who don't actually live in houses where they can afford to eat every day for having the wrong colour uniform anything (not all, but a lot of them).

I donate stuff like socks & get asked for them to be black or grey because those are the most common school colours & there are too many kids who will have that multipack as their only socks until they fall apart.

That's the UK today.
A country where multicoloured socks from primark are viewed as a luxury (by non smoking, non drinking working families) that you might aspire to as a Christmas gift by a growing segment of the population.

@QuiteQuaint

Pumperthepumper

That thread got very silly. People were saying they spent hours and hours on school ‘admin’. And the sock thing was identified as being the less costly and easier option to parents than a full on Disney or Victorian dress up day whilst still doing something a bit fun.

I’ve known some very poor families through work, they did have basics like socks that were not part of uniform, underwear and basic non uniform clothes and when they didn’t, we helped them get those things.

It’s difficult for schools, the pound should never be asked for, only taken if offered like at my child’s school. I’m sure some parents never donate and that’s ok, no other parents would notice as you don’t see what others are doing and parents are too busy sorting their own child to notice. But dress up days themselves are too expensive for many families so should stop.

Nobody ever said how they knew people didn’t spend hours on school admin.

I live in a Northern town which has plenty of poverty, I have worked in one of the most deprived schools in the country, I have rarely seen children in their school uniform at the weekend- it is not common-it is rare, place- I don't believe you!

Ah well, you’re still wrong.

"It's only a quid"

It may "only" be a "quid" to you, but for some people it could be a loaf of bread or pint of milk. Granted it may not seem like a,lot but to some parents its not a little either especially when people are on the bones of their arses.

@PermanentTemporary

I've never understood why the schools don't do a costume making session during the school day, perhaps with newspaper or lining paper. If it's so educational. That way everyone is equal. And children encouraged to give their time instead of money - letter writing or naming something they could do to help another person.

Really? Teachers hate dress up days as much as parents- they cause the children to be distracted from learning and more giddy than usual, there are often related activities that also take time out of learning, and in a curriculum that's already jam-packed with extra things to fit in you think they should make costumes out of lining paper? ha!

@PermanentTemporary

I've never understood why the schools don't do a costume making session during the school day, perhaps with newspaper or lining paper. If it's so educational. That way everyone is equal. And children encouraged to give their time instead of money - letter writing or naming something they could do to help another person.

That’s exactly what we do! And it’s skill building: planning, fine motor skills, real-life context, heads up learning and so on.