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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

302 replies

NewSwimmingMum · 18/11/2021 07:09

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 19/11/2021 15:48

@NewSwimmingMum

I should add in here that I feel for schools a bit-I think ours is bowing to parental pressure on children in need-it wasn't one they did but masses of parents moaned about it. There is an element of no win.
Yes, but parents moaning isn't the end of the world, people moan about all sorts of things. Schools need to be better at telling parents to piss off.
MrsHookey · 19/11/2021 16:34

@QuiteQuaint

I suppose tonight the usual affluent celebrities will be getting paid to tell us to "dig deep".

Many of who will make donations and give their time to help. You don’t have to watch, you don’t have to give.

Yeah I generally don't watch. I make donations on my own.

Those celebrities are usually not giving their time. They are usually getting paid, is my understanding.

QuiteQuaint · 19/11/2021 16:42

Those celebrities are usually not giving their time. They are usually getting paid, is my understanding.

I have a ‘celeb’ friend that I know through charity work. He doesn’t get paid.

ElvinBoys · 19/11/2021 17:29

I don’t know where you live, but where I am the council set the amount that schools can ask parents to donate for the year to make sure that it’s not excessive.

greendiva · 19/11/2021 17:42

I completely agree, we have had several already, in Oct and nov, kids don’t learn anything and most of the time have no idea why they are for example, wearing odd socks and taking in £1, plus all the PTA fundraising…..

Morgysmum · 19/11/2021 17:43

It is akward, when you get them before pay day.
I know it's only a quid, but sometimes. I had to send my son in costume once, and accidentally forgot to give him the money, as it was that or I would be short £1 for my bus fare to work (couldn't get without) as I didn't get paid till the day after, then I would take the £1 to school with me when I had got paid.
To some it might not be a problem, but I get that it can be a stigma, if yoy have to send the kids in uniform, because you haven't got a couple of pound spare.

Raisedbrow · 19/11/2021 17:50

Yes. I don't agree with any of it. Ours used to invoice parents, with email marked "Now overdue" and same day send out reminders on how to access food banks.

LMorton · 19/11/2021 17:52

This reply has been deleted

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Fireworksatforty · 19/11/2021 17:55

We've three of these in the next four weeks!

Harls1969 · 19/11/2021 17:57

It's voluntary. We have children turn up in non uniform etc on these days without their £1, it's fine. Those who want to pay do, those who don't, don't miss out

Dddccc · 19/11/2021 17:58

Ours is a silver coin so anything from 5p to 50p which is nowhere near as bad

Laila13 · 19/11/2021 18:23

My kids school has many a year and it's not voluntary anymore really - parents get called up by the school office chasing payment including any £3.50 +++ if the school has organised someone to come in to read to them etc. I thought school budgets had improved lately...it's starting to piss me off (can I say that? - new here!)

SilkLabrador · 19/11/2021 18:27

My children attend a school in an affluent area and it's always a voluntary donation. It should be done on a "give what you can" basis.

anon666 · 19/11/2021 18:39

YANBU. Even families that have the money its such a faff. I used to wish they would just ask upfront for a tenner at the start of the year and just take it from that. Finding the change when you're already stressed in the morning is half the problem.

Mumpud · 19/11/2021 18:41

Also, at this time of year it's not 'just' £1. If for example you want to enter the Christmas bake off, which your child might, you have to pay £1 to enter, buy the ingredients, then pay another £1 to eat a slice of it!! AND the money for the school theatre trip, the hand-made Christmas cards your child has drawn at school which get printed and they want to buy, the presents for the teachers which everyone else is getting so you feel obliged, the school Christmas fair where you have to buy things, again, they have made! The Christmas shopping afternoon at school where they can bring up to £4 to spend on tat for relatives.
It's endless.

Tessabelle74 · 19/11/2021 18:47

As a member of the PTA at our school, ALL events we organise are voluntary donations. No one is turned away if they don't donate etc. The money we raise is currently paying for buses for the school residential next year, for panto tickets for the school and for an outdoor play area. The money raised benefits the whole school, it has to as a condition of our charity licence. I'm pretty sure all fund raising is the same as our last school had the same attitude too

WeBurnedSoBrightWeBurnedOut · 19/11/2021 19:12

We had a couple last term for the harvest festival and halloween, one this week, one next week, one the week after and Chritsmas jumper day and Christmas party day. Reception also ask that we pay £10 a term/£1 a week for supplies. It is only 50p per child or £1 a family though so not as bad as £1 per child.

Seashor · 19/11/2021 20:23

We don’t do any thank goodness. As a teacher I can’t stand them. We tell the parents that it’s something that they can do at home.

Dnaltocs · 19/11/2021 22:22

If school can’t fund the the curriculum then it must be put into special measures. The children are not there to fund events. The tax payers pay for their education.

We have a food bank collection at school with each child strongly expected to bring in tins or dried foodstuff. However one third of the children at school use the food bank for their family food. They are playground discriminated against re being unable to donate food. Some Children can be cruel. School staff can be naive and cause upset.
A Head can earn £50,000 + some of their charges are from homes living on the breadline, with little heating and even less food.

Also - Portions of lunches are pitifully small and this may be the child’s main meal or only meal of the day. It’s about time reasonable sized portions are given to children, some of whom are on free meals. I do wish Head teachers realised this.

HollowTalk · 19/11/2021 22:37

Do they still do book day with Osborne books? I absolutely love books and my children had loads but I really struggle to find anything good with them. There was so much pressure on us to buy books as well. I was more than happy to buy a book but I wanted a good choice.

I think it's really difficult for parents with more than one child. You're more likely to suffer from poverty if you have more children and ironically you have to contribute more.

HollowTalk · 19/11/2021 22:39

Usbourne books, sorry.

Jenster03 · 19/11/2021 22:56

@Dnaltocs

If school can’t fund the the curriculum then it must be put into special measures. The children are not there to fund events. The tax payers pay for their education. We have a food bank collection at school with each child strongly expected to bring in tins or dried foodstuff. However one third of the children at school use the food bank for their family food. They are playground discriminated against re being unable to donate food. Some Children can be cruel. School staff can be naive and cause upset. A Head can earn £50,000 + some of their charges are from homes living on the breadline, with little heating and even less food. Also - Portions of lunches are pitifully small and this may be the child’s main meal or only meal of the day. It’s about time reasonable sized portions are given to children, some of whom are on free meals. I do wish Head teachers realised this.
Wow. You're rather misinformed aren't you? Our school are in deficit due to supply cover for teachers being off with covid. Better put us in special measures then! Not really sure what on earth you mean about the headteacher's salary - are you implying they should contribute some of their money? It's not their fault schools are ridiculously underfunded.
mamabear715 · 20/11/2021 00:28

Happiest day of my life when all my kids finished school. The end of the begging (demanding?) letters, the petty politics, the £1 for this, dress up for that, I HATED it all with a passion.
The teacher who rang me almost in tears, the silly cow, because I thought my youngest got to keep the class teddy or whatever it was for a week, to write a story about his adventures, when it was only one day and she expected me to get a bus (every two hours) to get the thing back to school.. 'the children will be SO disappointed'.. no they weren't, SHE was!
A close relative worked at another school and lots of the buns the mums made to sell were scoffed by teachers at break time..
Before anyone has a go at me, there are some WONDERFUL teachers - but if I had my time again I'd be tempted to at least try home schooling..

MammaMacgill87 · 20/11/2021 00:44

It's only a quid, for me a quid is my mornings bus fair for one of my children to school, sometimes I just don't have a quid,, nor do I have a multicolored sparkly jumper complete with Rudolph ears and a teddy bear eye patch and matching slippers for her to bloody wear for a charity that takes 57% of the profits raised to spend on advertising 😖

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 20/11/2021 00:53

Schools also have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. My ex earned over the amount for my kids to get free school dinners, but none of that trickled down to me (long story, and yes I’m in a much better place now) and I was stuck dipping into my overdraft or stretching child benefit to pay for all these things. Donations should be voluntary, and events kept to no more than one per term. And from an environmental perspective, anything which encourages the purchase of single use items (like Christmas jumpers or children in need merchandise) should be strongly discouraged.