People dumping things they don't want on you

[curlyrebel]

I'm getting a bit fed up of being given stuff that family and friends don't want anymore. I've got 2 small DC so some hand-me-downs are admittedly useful and well received but there's also a lot that aren't.

I don't always know if they're going to want them so I usually say ok, but then things just sit there unworn or unused and taking up space I don't have. I'm trying to declutter but it's impossible when second hand stuff is coming our way so often!
The kids cupboards are packed with clothes and most of them we haven't bought!

Once a friend messaged to ask if I wanted her DCs stuff. I forgot to reply and she just showed up with it next time I saw her!

Another time a friend gave me some dresses suited for formal occasions. I tried to say no but she wasn't having it. They sat there for a couple of years before my DD could fit into them and she's only worn one. Id probably get good money for them but don't have the time to sell online.

My SIL recently visited from another country with a suitcase of clothes and sleepwear for my DS. Did she ask me before if I wanted them? No.

We've also had sleeping bags, pillow cases, old toys including small pieces of Lego, books, dressing gowns, bags, coats, toiletries and a coat for DH...that's all just in the last year.

So are people taking the piss or AIBU here?

DM has form for offloading things that 'should stay in the family' but clearly not in her house

I had to start saying no a long time ago but still get subjected to random crap dumps.

The last lot was my old school reports. I read through them which wasn't the greatest idea and then stuck them in the recycling. I asked dc if they wanted theirs and it was a unanimous 'WTF? No!'

TBF she's shifted a lot of DF's randomness since he died but I've been landed with a lot of the responsibility for selling it and none of the profit. It's turned me in to a committed stuff shucker. Not going to land dc with the angst.

When I was pregnant with dc 1 dh’s side of the family brought used pram,baby bouncers,baby clothes you name it without even asking me first . God knows where they got they from and I don’t care I was full of hormones and was buying stuff for my dd MYSELF. I found them after a long day at work I told dh take them back.

Am pregnant now they haven’t brought anything thank God!!! At least speak to me first don’t just bring your junk to me.

My MIL does this. Mildewed old clothes that don't fit, costume jewellery that is old and falling apart, pieces of fabric offcuts. Saying no would offend so I give it to my husband to deal with.

Othe relatives have tried the same thing but 'oh thanks for thinking of me but no thanks' works with them.

@Spacerader

Sorry if this sounds mean op, but I think this is a you problem. You just need to clearly say no thank you. If they turn up with stuff, say no thank you.

People probably assume you just want it because you always take it, or even when you say no you still end up taking it.

A simple, no thank you I don't need it, I have enough of my own cast offs to get rid of. Should do it.

I agree. Just say no thank you. People think you want the stuff because you keep accepting it.

I wish people gave me stuff! Nobody ever gives us used clothes or toys...we always have to buy....

You need to say no. If you don't and accept them then anything you don't want you give back to said person. You only take what you want from what they've offered. They can organise what's to happen with the rest.