To think my new colleagues hate me?

[immersivereader]

Recently started a new job, WFH 100% of the time.

I suggested that we all meet for lunch (team of 7) which my boss seemed on board with. He's organised the lunch for December 21st. Which to me seems a bit late really but anyway.

DH said that everyone will dislike me as all the team members love the whole WFH thing and won't want to trudge downtown.

Also, boss sent the email invite and wrote some words in Italian (Italian resto) and I replied to all, in Italian, saying looking forward to it, etc.

Am I an enthusiastic oddball?

I agree with @fourminutestosavetheworld I wouldn't want to go and I'd wish it wasn't happening so I didn't have to find an excuse, but that would be very much my problem, I am aware some people like to socialise

@Geamhradh Except that isn’t what happened. The OP used the short form of restaurant in her op, her boss wrote a couple of sentences in Italian saying that s/he was looking forward to seeing everyone. Read the thread and you might have your own “oh fuck” facepalm moment.

OP there are enough dull and boring people in this world (and on this thread), don't let them dim your light. You sound like fun. Hope the lunch goes well.

@HundredMilesAnHour

I'd think less that you're an "enthusiastic oddball" and more that you're a thoughtless show-off and it's all about what you want without much care for anyone else.

Is this seriously how you would view a new starter suggesting meeting up for lunch? A thoughtless show-off?? How on earth do you respond to a party invitation?

@TowerOfGiraffes

As long as it's not implied that people are expected to come, it's fine.

If it's effectively enforced socialising - i.e. people feel they have to make an excuse if they don't want to come - then it's not good.

Not all people are extroverts. Not all people want to spend free time with colleagues especially those they hardly know. Many may already have family plans and kids off from school that close to Christmas. If any sort of expectation of attending is implied then it will likely annoy quite a few people.

The 21st December is still a working day, though, so it's not their free time unless they have already booked leave that day or don't work Tuesdays, in which case it's a moot point.

The lunch is totally optional - no-one is obliged to go

If they are Mumsnetters they will hate you, as it is accepted that workplace socialising is the 7th circle of hell

@anniegun

If they are Mumsnetters they will hate you, as it is accepted that workplace socialising is the 7th circle of hell

Are you not a Mumsnetter?

Op, I think you sound lovely!

I wouldn't want to go - and I'm not going to our Christmas lunches. The last thing I want is covid right before the festive break, so mixing with 7 other households (effectively) over a table plus everyone else in the restaurant is not my idea of fun.

As for the Italian bit - yeah, you'd irritate me intensely. Glad to hear it's optional, although I hope that's not 'optional'.

With all the updates OP you sound lovely and you haven't done anything weird at all. You sound like a great friend/colleague!!

you'd irritate me intensely
Jeez some people on here are just so bloody rude.

I wouldn't hate you at all, but I wouldn't go. Not into town, that close to Christmas with an annoying invite and reply. I'm probably grumpier than most though!

@SirChenjins

I wouldn't want to go - and I'm not going to our Christmas lunches. The last thing I want is covid right before the festive break, so mixing with 7 other households (effectively) over a table plus everyone else in the restaurant is not my idea of fun.

As for the Italian bit - yeah, you'd irritate me intensely. Glad to hear it's optional, although I hope that's not 'optional'.

Yes, I wonder if it's optional or 'optional'. A bit like when you're put down as 'optional' on a meeting invite but you know you're very much expected to show your face.

Most people will know that you meant well in suggesting the meal.

Tone down the Google translations though, because it's a bit cringeworthy, and because they're often inaccurate.

Anyone who forms a bad opinion of you over this is a twat. Don’t overthink it.

Sounds like a great idea and I imagine your colleagues either already, or soon will, be very happy about the energy and enthusiasm you are bringing to the team. I'm sure it will be great and everyone will be in Christmas mode.

Don't worry about it . Dp likes to speak to our russian Amazon delivery person in Russian.

@Interrobanger

Does your DH usually piss all over your chips?

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Maybe her DH is just of a different opinion- y’know, like some posters on here (including me). Trudging into town (a 40 minute drive plus time to find a parking space) during a pandemic when the weather is often crap and at a time when schools are breaking up bringing childcare issues isn’t guaranteed to bring festive cheer. I’d imagine that if the team had wanted a Christmas meet-up they’d have already organised something by now - which suggests it’s not something they’re exactly desperate to have. I’d point this out to my DH if he’d done the same as the OP - hardly pissing on his chips.

40 min drive for me, that should have been

You do sound lovely, but also a bit gung-ho and jolly hockey sticks. It sounds like your husband knows that you tend to take up an idea and really run with it, so was giving you a gentle warning that it's not polite to try to massively take over the established way of doing things, when you're newly into a new job.

The 21st December is still a working day, though, so it's not their free time unless they have already booked leave that day or don't work Tuesdays, in which case it's a moot point.

In many offices a very high percentage of staff will be on annual leave that entire week, visiting family or looking after children who have already finished school for the term, so far a large proportion of people it will not be a working day, and certainly a very inconvenient time for a team social.

I worked in an environment where most of us spoke more than one language but the reply in attempted Italian seems daft. I would not mind a Christmas lunch but so close to Christmas would have had me avoiding if possible.

You sound lovely.

Your DH opinion on this doesn't really matter. He's being a grump.

The Italian was fine.