To ask, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

[Stripey3000]

I'll start. Mine was in the form of a post on the Postsecret website years ago, where people make postcards, sharing secrets anonymously. This one jumped out at me as it simply said 'You get what you settle for.' For me at the time, those were the exact words I needed to hear. I was heading towardsthe end of a failing marriage (aged 30) and thinking about whether to stay with him or not. In that moment I chose not to settle for what had become an unhappy situation for the rest of my life. 10 years on and I still remember that as a pivotal moment, seeing the sentiment I needed to help me make my decision. I have no regrets 😊
So what advice have you received that stuck with you?

Always try to be the person your dog thinks you are

Love that 🙂

And:

Don't look back, you aren't going that way

Be you otherwise you are just a pale imitation

If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like duck, its a fucking duck, trust your senses

Guilt is fine - accept it and move on
Told to me during grief counselling for my father, but actually meant for my relationship with my mother
Once I accepted that it is perfectly fine to feel guilty about some things - they don't need to be mended. Just accept and move on
I didn't like my mother much, but once I stopped feeling guilty about it when dad died, we got on much better
I just had a superficial relationship with her that she preferred 🤷‍♀️

@Dreamstosell

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

Love this one!

“Choose your attitude”
and
“Only regret the things you don’t do”

And my motto for my own life - I’ll relax when I’m dead.

Oh and also “If you don’t ask you don’t get”

Never make yourself small to make someone else feel big.

If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

Don't make someone a priority, if you are just an option to them.

If it is to be, it is up to me.

It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice!

It is what it is. I try and control things too often.

Take the Red Pill

helps your posture , making you squat in the best position to go.

www.amazon.co.uk/TOILET-SQUATTY-BATHROOM-CONSTIPATION-RELIEF/dp/B077QR9L98/ref=asc_df_B077QR9L98?hvlocphy&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=o&hvlocint&hvdev=c&hvadid=80333125119038&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-4583932701793101

@goingback

helps your posture , making you squat in the best position to go.

]]

@blairytone

Never accept criticism from someone you wouldn’t ask for advice.

The best revenge, is not caring enough to want revenge.

And

If you think you can, you can.
And if you think you can’t, you’re right.

The harder you work, the luckier you get

"A problem shared is a problem halved" this helped me through my teenage years.

This is something I heard recently "Always be honest, even if it's good or bad"
This helped me realise I made the right choice in being honest when I fucked up 2 years ago and haven't been able to forgive myself since.

Keep your life as simple as possible.

This has served me well. The idea is not to take on extraneous responsibilities, extra possessions that need maintenance, etc. Just keeping to a minimum potential sources of headaches, complications, stress, etc.

You can have a lovely life, in a nice home, doing all kinds of enjoyable things, without taking on a loads of extra problems, complications, demands.

From my manager as I was trying to prove myself before going for a promotion: 'It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission', what she meant by that is that I should take the initiative rather than asking what to do.

'Don't say apologise for asking someone to do their job' again in a work context - 'sorry to bother you' etc makes you seem passive.

When in the midst of any overwhelming situation something along the lines of ‘there will come a point when you look back on this and that means you will have got through it’

Dealing with the loss of a loved one - I often think ‘they would want me to be ok’ - it kind of helps.

In my very early 20s I sat next to an older chap at work, I worked for a financial services company who gave a really good, final salary pension (not that I knew what that was back then). He said to me 'pay much as you can into your pension' he also advised me to pay into the SAYE scheme, which I did. The SAYE scheme gave me the deposit for my first house and the pension is the biggest lump I'll be using to retire on in 8 years time. If I could buy him a beer now I would

Be nice to the people who are nice to you and be nicer to the people who are nasty to you!

It is so true about the stool as an aid to a smooth and easy poo. I think that's why many cultures prefer to do their business while squatting; it creates a similar defecation-friendly silhouette.

Advice? Here's the stuff I wish I'd known as a kid:

Life is not fair, so make the most of it when life is going your way. When things are shitful, it is not necessarily your fault. Graciously bide your time.

A problem shared is likely to be spread all over the school/workplace/friends group and make you look ridiculous, so keep your mouth shut. Seek confidential help if you need to.

Vigorous walking helps with grief and bereavement.

And from Dame Vivienne Westwood: "You have a more interesting life if you wear impressive clothes." Worked for me. I spruced up my plain, mousy appearance, got some smart tailoring and fabulous shoes, and people treated me very differently. I landed my dream job --- whereupon my clothes became even more impressive!

Be careful what you focus on because what you focus on is what grows.

“Never chase after a boy or a bus, there’ll be another one along in fifteen minutes.”

My Grandmother.

Done is better than perfect.

And from my mum 'never rely on a man financially'.